The fact that he’s going to have his memoirs published probably surprises me less (in today’s media world) than the fact that he’s still alive at all.

Via Blue Crab Boulevard: Cheetah, the chimp from the Johnny Weismuller movies, will finally tell all.

Expect a heart-wrenching account of a life-long struggle against speciesist stereotypes.

“I never got the girl,” the hominid will complain. “I really wanted to direct, but I couldn’t get past the glass ceiling.”