Today would appear to be Parody Day here at Brandywine Books.
This morning I was listening to a National Guard recruitment ad, one of the kind where one character raves about how much money she’s saving on college by joining the Guard, and the other ends up saying, “I’m gonna call the recruiter today!”
And I started to wonder about the kind of recruitment ad we can expect to see a few years down the line, once our military has had its consciousness fully raised by a progressive administration…
JENNIFER: Hey, Stacey, guess what? I joined the National Guard! With the Guard’s great education benefits, I can afford to go to college, and skip that great big debt!”
STACEY: You joined that National Guard? Jennifer, don’t you know they’re a tool of American hegemony, exploiting indigenous peoples around the world, and promoting racist and corporatist national interests?
JENNIFER: Boy, are you behind the times, Stacey! That was the old National Guard! Today’s Guard encourages its members to think for themselves, and provides lots of opportunities for revolutionary action! I plan to be a communications specialist, and I’ll be using the new privacy rules to funnel military secrets to our enemies abroad! There’s even an elite Jihadist unit, where you can be taught to participate in human-caused disasters right here in our own country!
STACEY: Wow! I didn’t know that! I’m gonna call the recruiter today!