I just learned of a new fantasy novel, Auralia’s Colors, coming this summer from WaterBrook Press. It could be interesting, engaging, even good. I see that Books & Culture’s John Wilson calls it “a vivid and continuous dream.” You can read the first chapter on the author’s site.
At this point, I should probably shut up, but we talk about the craft of writing every now and then on BwB, so in that vein, what do you think of these opening lines?
Auralia lay still as death, like a discarded doll, in a burgundy tangle of rushes and spineweed on the bank of a bend in the River Throanscall, when she was discovered by an old man who did not know her name.
She bore no scars, no broken bones, just the stain of inkblack soil. Contentedly, she cooed, whispered, and babbled, learning the river’s language, and focused her gaze on the stormy dance of evening sky roiling purple clouds edged with blood red. The old man surmised she was waiting and listening for whoever, or whatever, had forsaken her there.
So the little girl lay there cooing and babbling as still as death? How does that work? Wasn’t she moving her mouth? And she was discovered by an old man who did not know her name? Why should he know her name? He’s just discovered her. I would be surprised if he knew her beforehand.
If it was a small town, it might be surprising that he didn’t know her name.
“Still as death,” I agree, is a poor choice of words to describe someone you are about to say is cooing and babbling.
Yeah, I may be just jumping on the bandwagon, but I thought in the first sentence I was reading a murder mystery about a dead girl, but then I realized that Auralia was a baby.
And why were the rushes burgundy-colored? Maybe it’s the spineweed since I don’t know what that is.
The burgundy color comes from the fantasy world itself, I believe. In other worlds, things are supposed to be different, aren’t they?
Hey, Phil.
My friend Dan alerted me to the puzzlement here. You may not like the explanation, but here it is:
– The first sentence refers to a particular moment that is spelled out in more detail later in the chapter. Keep reading, and you’ll find it. It’s a moment when the child went suddenly “quiet and still,” and we learn that *this* is the moment that became indelible in the memory of the old man who found her there.
So no, she’s not “still as death” all the time. But in the moment that the old man remembers when he thinks back about finding her, yes… the baby had gone absolutely and strangely still.
– Secondly, about “he did not know her name.” Read beyond the first couple of paragraphs, and you’ll learn that this is not just a straight literal note, but a declaration of a theme that runs throughout the story. “Naming” is important in the story. Characters have their names, they take on nicknames, and they are labeled by other people. Auralia reveals her own name to other characters later in the book, after the names forced upon her by others have failed to “stick.” When the old man “did not know her name,” this has to do with several things: a) literally, not knowing her name; b) not knowing what family she comes from; c) not knowing her class or character; and d) not knowing which society should rightly claim her.
Finally, the old man lives in a small community, where everybody knows everybody, so it *should* surprise him to find a baby and not know the baby’s name. Out there, in the middle of nowhere, even an abandoned baby would likely be traced to someone in particular.
Oh, and you’re right about things being different in fantasy worlds. Half of the joy of writing about Auralia for me is making up new rules for the nature all around her. Why burgundy rushes? That’s what I saw as I wrote the thing down.
By the way, when Chapter Two begins with the claim that “Auralia became twigs and burnt autumn leaves,” don’t worry. I’m not saying she literally turned into a pile of sticks and scraps. It’s a way of painting a picture. Read Patricia McKillip’s “The Book of Atrix Wolfe.” She revels in that kind of language. I happen to really enjoy it.
I hope this helps. Thanks for thinking about “Auralia’s Colors.” I hope you enjoy the book. And I’m happy to hear from anybody who wants to talk about the story, the genre, imagination, movies… whatever. You can reach me at joverstreet@gmail.com.
Jeffrey Overstreet
Thank you for taking the time to comment. I wish success with this book and others.