Dost Twitter Dismantle One's English?

Mark Liberman takes issue with the criticism Ralph Fiennes has for Twitter, in which he says our language is being “eroded” by our habitual use of “truncated sentences, soundbites and Twitter.” Twitter restricts posts to 140 characters, though there are several ways around that. Liberman did some word analysis and reports, “The mean word length in Hamlet (in modern spelling) was 3.99 characters; in P. G. Wodehouse’s Jeeves stories, the mean word length was 4.05 characters; in the DP’s tweets, the mean word length was 4.80 characters.” He says the character restricts motivates some of us to pack the information into our tweets.

Leberman also reports on the word and sentence lengths in U.S. Presidential addresses, in which mean word length has dropped 5% in Inaugural and State of the Union addresses since George Washington’s first speeches and mean sentence length has dropped 50%.

Clearly, the presidency must go, for the sake of American English.

DVD review: "Troll Hunter"

Since I’m in the middle of a course of antibiotics to kill off my bronchial infection, I took the excuse to spend most of the weekend in bed, watching movies on Netflix. Picked off a couple I’d been meaning to get to, the Norwegian movie Troll Hunter being one of them.

This is an interesting movie. The one thing you need to understand when you approach it—and I suspect some people will miss this—is that it’s a comedy. A particular kind of Scandinavian comedy, and an extreme example of its kind.

To a very large degree (and you’ve probably have noted it in my own writing), Scandinavian humor is dry. We love to tell a story that gets increasingly ridiculous, straight-faced. To put it plainly, we may be laughing with you or at you, or both, depending on your reaction. We judge your intelligence by how long it takes you to grasp the absurdity.

That’s what Troll Hunter does. It’s kind of like a cross between The Blair Witch Project and The Office.

At the beginning we are following three Norwegian college students doing a documentary journalism project. They think they’re following a bear poacher, which would be dangerous and ill-advised enough on the face of it. But when they follow him into the woods one night, he suddenly shouts, “TROLL!” and they find themselves scrambling away, with a huge, three-headed creature at their heels. They escape, but one of their members is bitten. Continue reading DVD review: "Troll Hunter"

Poems on Violence

Tom Nolan quotes Philip Dacey on his poetic depiction of a poisoned Russian agent poisoned in “With or Without Milk”: “I drank a tea not made in front of me. / Beware tea brewed in ways you cannot see.”

“The poetry of violent death,” he says, “spans hundreds of years.” (via Books, Inq.)

Abraham Kuyper

Saturday was Dutch Reformer Abraham Kuyper’s birthday (1837-1920). The man who wrote: “When people recite the Lord’s Prayer, they all pray, ‘Deliver us from the evil one,’ but in free, spontaneous prayers we seldom call upon God to cover us with His shield against the poisonous arrows of Satan. Therefore, if the Kingdom of Christ is to regain its glory also in our eyes, it is imperative that we emphatically insist that Jesus Himself saw His life struggle as one fierce battle against Satan.” George Grant has a brief tribute to him.

We have a winnah!

Thanks to all who made suggestions for the tag line for Troll Valley.

Although I had decided to go with something else, I thought it over and concluded that commenter Adam had the best suggestion. His tag line will go on the book, in a slightly modified form:

“The Fairy Tale Your Grandparents Never Told You.”



Adam will receive a free copy of Troll Valley once the thing is published. Assuming he has the capability to download e-books.

More Lewis than Lovecraft

William Peter Blatty, best known for writing the horror classic, The Exorcist, says that wasn’t what he had in mind at all, according to this article at Fox News:

…for the humiliating God’s-honest truth of the matter is that while I was working on “The Exorcist,” what I thought I was writing was a novel of faith in the popular dress of a thrilling and suspenseful detective story – in other words, a sermon that no one could possibly sleep through — and to this day I haven’t the faintest recollection of any intention to frighten the reader, which many will take, I suppose, as an admission of failure on an almost stupefying, scale.

I’ve read the original book, though that was a long time ago (I clearly remember reading it in the Minneapolis bus station while waiting for transportation home to the farm for Christmas, and I haven’t ridden a bus or had the farm to go home to in a long, long time). My memory is faint, but I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth. The book is a thriller about a crisis of faith, not a work of horror in the usual sense. Even the movie bears the marks of that purpose, although the pea soup and revolving head tend to dominate one’s attention (Did her head spin around in the book? I don’t actually recall).

Anyway, if you’re looking for Halloween reading that’s strong-flavored and faith-friendly, you can do worse than The Exorcist.

On a side note, when I hear Blatty’s name, I don’t think first of The Exorcist, but of a TV movie he wrote earlier, a comedy western movie called “The Great Bank Robbery,” starring Zero Mostel, Clint Walker, and Kim Novak. I particularly recall one scene where Kim kisses the shy and quiet Clint, making him visibly uncomfortable.

“Did you like it?” she asks with a smile, as she walks away.

“Ma’am,” he replies, “Just ’cause I talk slow don’t mean I’m peculiar.”

Help needed

I’m pondering a small problem with my upcoming e-book, Troll Valley. And I thought, hey, I’ll crowdsource it to the world’s smartest people, the few, the proud who read Brandywine Books.

Our own Phil Wade has been applying his considerable graphic skills to creating a cover, based on a photograph I took of the Gunderson House, the house in my home town (Kenyon, Minnesota) which inspired the house where the main characters of Troll Valley live.

Friends, this is going to be an awesome cover. I know the word “awesome” is overused, but I mean it literally. Or almost literally. Anyway, it’s great. Phil took a bright, sunny picture, ran it through some filters, and turned it into a dark, numinous sort of thing, with extras that you’ll just have to wait to see. Almost identical to what I envisioned, and much better than I dared hope.

But here’s where the problem comes. We’re laying it out with my name where it belongs (at the top). And the title, somewhat larger, near the bottom.

And it occurred to me that most books include some kind of tag line, a teaser to give people a hint what sort of story they’re looking at here.

I’m trying to come up with a tag line that will suggest the kind of weird book this is. Here’s where I solicit your help.

But you need something to work with. A short synopsis of the story: Continue reading Help needed

Parables, with rimshots



“The Parable of the Blind Leading the Blind,” by Abel Grimmer (1565-1630)

Joe Carter at First Thoughts links to an intriguing article by James Martin, S. J. in The Wall Street Journal, called “Jesus of Nazareth, Stand-Up Comic?” Before you take offense at the title, take time to read the piece. I think he makes an excellent point.

There are more overt signs of Jesus’s appreciation of a sense of humor.  My favorite is the story of Nathaniel in the Gospel of John.  When he hears that Jesus is from Nazareth he says, “Can anything good come from Nazareth?”  It’s a dig at Jesus’s hometown, which was seen as a backwater.  What does Jesus say in response?  You would expect the grumpy Jesus to castigate Nathaniel.  But he does the opposite.  Jesus says, “Here is an Israelite without guile.”  In other words, here’s a guy I can trust!  And Nathaniel joins the apostles.  It’s an indication of Jesus’s appreciation of a sense of humor.

Jesus’ parables, I’ve long believed, are particularly opaque to modern Christians because of our wrong-headed insistence on treating them as solemn guides to exemplary living. My own reading of the gospels (though Heaven knows I’m no scholar, and understand Greek not at all) has convinced me that parables need to be taken one at a time. Some are solemn, like the story of Lazarus and the rich man. But others involve crazy exaggeration (Jesus loved hyperbole, to an extent that would probably get Him in trouble in the modern church), and can best be described as a spiritual kick in the pants.

Martin gives some examples, which I generally agree with. One of my own favorites is the Parable of the Unjust Steward, in which Jesus tells—with apparent approval—the story of a manager who first of all embezzles his employer’s money, and then, before cleaning out his desk, gets a bunch of his boss’s debtors to falsify their loan documents, so that they’ll owe him favors. How many Sunday School teachers have twisted themselves into logical knots trying to get a “Go and do thou likewise” out of that story? The real point is just that crooked sinners are smart enough to “feather their nests” by helping others, purely out of self-interest, and we should be smart enough to do the same with an eye to eternity, especially since we handle wealth that our Master wants us to share.

When I was in a musical group I always meant to write a comic skit re-imagining the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant as a Godfather-style gangster story.

“You wanted to see me, Don Vito?”

“Yeah, Louie. Siddown. You want a cigar? Somethin’ to drink?”

“No, no thank you, Don Vito.”

“Wanna get right to business, huh?”

“If that’s all right, Godfather.”

“Sure, sure. OK, here’s the thing. I been hearin’ some stories. Whispers in my ear, you know? Something about you and Benny the Ninepin. You know about these stories?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What I been hearin’ is that you beat him up, broke his arm with a pool cue. Is this true?”

“He owed me money, Godfather.”

“How much, Louie?”

“A C-note.”

“A C-note.”

“That’s right.”

“One-hundred bucks.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Now Louie, I’m confused. ‘Cause I seem to recall a time when you came up short… what was it? Two million simoleons?”

“Uh, somethin’ like that.”

“An’ all the boys told me I ought to break your neck and bury you out in the flats, so the other collectors would be more careful next time. But you was my cousin’s husband, so I said, ‘Nah, I’ll let it go this time. Put a scare in him and see if he cleans up his act.”

“I’ve always been really grateful, Godfather. You see, that’s why I was tryin’ to collect from Benny, so I could start payin’ you back–”

“A hundred bucks on two million? For that you broke Benny’s arm? Did it occur to you that a guy who’s had two million bucks written off ought to give a break some bum who owes him chickenfeed? What kind of a goombah are you…?”

"The Reversal," by Michael Connelly


I felt what Maggie had tried to describe to me on more than one occasion when we were married. She always called it the burden of proof. Not the legal burden. But the psychic burden of knowing that you stood as representative of all the people. I had always dismissed her explanations as self-serving. The prosecutor was always the overdog. The Man…. I never understood what she was trying to tell me.

Until now.

I still haven’t entirely warmed to Michael Connelly’s “Lincoln Lawyer” character, Mickey Haller, who strikes me as somewhat irresponsible (a useful quality, perhaps, in a criminal defense lawyer).

But The Reversal, “A Lincoln Lawyer” novel, is as much a story of Mickey’s half-brother, police detective Harry Bosch, as it is one of Mickey’s, so I had no problem getting on board. And the story as a whole seemed to me as engaging and sympathetic as Connelly has written in some time.

It begins with Mickey doing something he’s always sworn he’d never do—go to work (on a temporary basis) as a county prosecutor, making and presenting a case against a convicted child murderer. DNA evidence has won the convict a new trial, but the District Attorney’s office still believes they have the right man. The most important element of their case is the eyewitness, the victim’s older sister, who was only a child at the time.

Mickey agrees to do the job—just this once—on the condition that he gets his ex-wife, prosecutor Maggie MacPherson, as his associate. (He wants to improve his relationship with her.) With Harry Bosch as chief investigator, it makes the entire prosecution a family affair.

The narration switches back and forth from Mickey’s point of view (presented in the first person) and Harry’s (in the third person). The alternation makes an interesting counterpoint. Mickey is all about tactics and strategies, intuiting the Defense’s moves on the basis of his own considerable experience on that side of the courtroom. Meanwhile Harry runs down leads and dogs the suspect in his accustomed, obsessive way, his focus always on his duty (or vocation), as an officer of society itself, to see justice done and the evil removed from our midst.

This being fiction, of course, even the best courtroom strategist can’t foresee, or prevent, the big surprise that takes the story’s climax out of the safety of the courtroom and into the perils of a city full of innocent bystanders.

The Reversal is an excellent thriller from a master storyteller. Recommended for adults. Cautions for language and icky stuff.

The Unreliable Narrator

Anne Enright talks about her novel, The Forgotten Waltz, with The Paris Review:

Gina Moynihan is the kind of person who realizes what she’s saying in the saying of it. And I think many of us are similar. Until you start articulating something, you don’t quite know what it is, and you don’t see the mistakes or flaws in your own argument until they’re in the air. She’s in the process of realizing what she’s saying, in the process of realizing what she knows or what she has refused to know—that’s the journey of the novel.

The wonderful thing about this kind of unreliability is that it reflects the unreliability of our own narratives about our own lives. You tell a story about how you ended up at this place, rather childishly thinking that there is no other place that you could have ended up—especially when it comes to love, which has this destined, momentous feel to it. I was balancing that momentous and eternal sense of love with the cause and effect of meeting people and shagging them or not.