{"id":2177,"date":"2008-11-13T19:49:16","date_gmt":"2008-11-14T00:49:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/?p=2177"},"modified":"2008-11-13T19:49:16","modified_gmt":"2008-11-14T00:49:16","slug":"exposition-lesson-part-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/?p=2177","title":{"rendered":"Exposition lesson, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"

I filled up my car today<\/strong> for less than twenty bucks. (It should be noted that my car has a pretty small gas tank.) What a good feeling that was! That\u2019s a genuine economic stimulus payment. I can\u2019t help thinking that people all over this country are enjoying the feeling of extra weight left in their wallets, and are getting ready to do some spending they\u2019ve been putting off.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m probably wrong, but it feels that way to me.
\n

\n
I\u2019m reading another Dean Koontz novel<\/strong> (I\u2019ve pretty much read all his books now). It\u2019s one of his re-issued early works and, typically, shows numerous marks of artistic immaturity. Particularly notable are the lame jokes (his jokes tend to be a little lame even nowadays, but he\u2019s made great progress).<\/p>\n

But what really caught my attention was his problem with exposition, a problem I\u2019ve discussed before in reference to other early efforts. I\u2019m not going to excerpt any of his scenes here, but I\u2019ll compose a Koontz-like chunk of dialogue.
\n<\/p>\n

Slade stepped into the captain\u2019s office. \u201cYou wanted to see me?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n

Captain Cherhofsky tipped a hand toward the visitor\u2019s chair. \u201cSit down, Morrie,\u201d he said without expression. Slade sat down.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s this I hear about you asking for the Monroe files?\u201d Cherhofsky asked.<\/p>\n

Slade shifted in his chair. \u201cThey\u2019re relevant to this extortion case I\u2019m working.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s b******, and you know it. A fifteen year old murder? What\u2019s that got to do with some nut threatening to blow up dry cleaners?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA name came up. I\u2019m pretty sure the guy was a witness on the Monroe thing. I just wanted to check it out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd that would help us, how?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOK, I was fishing. I had a hunch. You\u2019ve followed up hunches. Every cop has.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, yeah,\u201d said Cherhofsky, leaning back in his leather chair. It was a beautiful chair. The nicest chair in the station. Nobody had any idea how Cherhofsky had snagged it. It sure wasn\u2019t city issue. \u201cOh yeah, I get hunches. For instance, right now I\u2019ve got a hunch you\u2019re trying to re-open Monroe. Again. On city time. When we\u2019ve got hot cases to solve.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slade fought the urge to hunch his shoulders, fuming. He knew he\u2019d been made, but he wasn\u2019t about to give it up without a fight. Especially with Cherhofsky, who\u2019d had it in for him ever since they\u2019d been rookies together.<\/p>\n

\u201cUnsolved murder is always hot. Especially when it\u2019s a kid who got killed.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cherhofsky shook his head. \u201cWhat is it with you, Slade? We\u2019ve got a million unsolved murders down in Records. There\u2019s not an officer on the force who hasn\u2019t seen things he can\u2019t get out of his head\u2014things that stay with us the rest of our lives. Wicked and evil, stupid and evil, random and evil. Faces and voices that keep us awake at night. But we keep doing the job. We move past it. We accept the fact that we\u2019re not God, not angels, not some g****** CSI on TV. We\u2019re just guys doing a job the best way we can. Things fall through the cracks. People fall through the cracks. You understand that. You live with it just like the rest of us. Except for the Monroe case. That one you won\u2019t let go.\u201d<\/p>\n

Slade took a deep breath. It was almost a sigh. \u201cWhen I was a kid, I knew a little boy like the Monroe kid. A kid with a brain injury. A little slow, a little awkward. All the kids made fun of him. Some of the boys used to make a game of tripping him, laughing at him when he fell on his face.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, so what? We\u2019ve all known bullies like that.\u201d
\n

\n
\u201cI\u2019ll bet you were one of them,\u201d<\/i> thought Slade. Aloud he said, \u201cThat kid was my brother. He died one day, when I wasn\u2019t with him. Got caught in a snowstorm and couldn\u2019t get to shelter. Nobody killed him, but I wasn\u2019t there to help. It was my job to watch out for him. I\u2019ve always felt responsible.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cherhofsky smiled a cruel smile. \u201cWe\u2019ve got a department shrink, you know. I think you ought to make an appointment to see him.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Do you see what\u2019s wrong with this scene? I\u2019m telling you that Slade and Cherhofsky are enemies. And yet here is Slade, baring his deepest secrets to the man.<\/p>\n

In real life, nobody would do that. It would give his enemy too much ammunition.<\/p>\n

But the author wants to tell us about the brother (we call it exposition).<\/p>\n

That\u2019s fine and good. This just isn\u2019t the place to do it.<\/p>\n

Tomorrow I\u2019ll show you a couple better ways to do the job.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I filled up my car today for less than twenty bucks. (It should be noted that my car has a pretty small gas tank.) What a good feeling that was! That\u2019s a genuine economic stimulus payment. I can\u2019t help thinking that people all over this country are enjoying the feeling of extra weight left in … Continue reading Exposition lesson, Part 1<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2177","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction","category-writing"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2177","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2177"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2177\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/brandywinebooks.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}