All posts by Lars Walker

I am not blind…

…to the irony of the fact that I’ve auditioned for a reality TV show almost exactly a year after posting this piece ridiculing the whole phenomenon. I’m not sure my lapse rises to the level of hypocrisy, but it’s uncomfortable. Still, doing a reality show isn’t actually an immoral act, and one expects an author to play the buffoon a bit, if it will sell some books. At least in our time.

I was all ready to write a scathing post about kids working on farms, when word came out that the Labor Department has quickly withdrawn its proposal to outlaw agricultural chores for children under 16.

But I am not one to be deterred by mere real world events.

I’m not going to rhapsodize about my childhood among the chickens and cows. If you’ve followed this blog, you’ve guessed that it wasn’t Little House on the Prairie for me. If I grew up to be a slacker and a layabout, it’s partly because my farm childhood was an unusual and dysfunctional one.

But I see the value of a proper farm childhood every day. The Bible school I work for is perhaps one of the purest pools of rural youth in our metropolitan area. Most of our students come from our historical center of gravity, northwestern Minnesota and eastern North Dakota, with a lot of farm kids from other places as well. We’re not immune to demographics, of course. We have lots of city kids. But if you’re looking for a kid who grew up getting up at 5:00 a.m. to milk the cows, our school is a good place to look.

And people do. Our students generally have little trouble finding part-time jobs to pay their way through school. The word is out in the western suburbs—AFLBS students are better workers than kids from, say, the University of Minnesota.

This is one thing that worries me about the future. Agriculture is changing, and in many ways the changes are good. Food is cheaper, which helps the poor, for one thing. But efficiency means bigger farms, which means fewer farm families.

Throughout the history of the republic, we’ve had an inexhaustible supply of farm kids who were sick to death of Ma and Pa and the cows and the pigs, and dreamed of a better life in the city. They’ve carried their farm-bred work ethic into the cities and helped to make American industry the envy of the world. When they went to war, they were objects of marvel to Europeans and South Sea Islanders. When they went into politics, they tended to be moderately honest, at least at first.

We’re losing that supply of farm kids. All the kids are city kids nowadays, even if they grew up in small towns.

It troubles me.

But then everything troubles me.

I will probably not be America’s Next Top Swordfighter

If I’ve seemed more preoccupied lately than just a trip to Missouri would warrant, there’s a reason for that. I, along with other members of the Viking Age Club and Society of the Sons of Norway, have been slogging through the logistics of a television audition. I didn’t want to talk about it until I actually understood what was going on, but now I think I can. Because it’s probably nothing.

Our club president was contacted a while back by a representative from a Hollywood production company that specializes in reality programs, among them several I’m sure you’ve heard of. They wanted to arrange to meet with us and do some filming, intrigued by the fact that we have whole families (three generations in one case) involved, and by the “live steel combat” we do.

It took some time and some scheduling, but we finally met with one of the executives, a camera man, and a sound man, yesterday afternoon at one of our members’ homes. They interviewed us on camera and filmed our combats and drills.

Does this mean we’re going to be celebrities? Probably not.

As I understand it, what they’re doing is blitzkrieging the genre. They’ve located a large number of people and activities across the country which they think they might conceivably make a show out of (tomorrow, the executive told us, he’d be filming the biggest strawberry shortcake in the world). Then they’ll cut the footage into teasers, and submit them to the networks in batches. Most, obviously, will be rejected. I have no reason to think we’re likely to make the cut.

But it was a fun experience, and the executive was not at all what I expected a TV producer to be like.

I’ll tell you if anything more happens.

Which I doubt.

The Fulcrum Files, by Mark Chisnell

What was it really like, living in England in the days leading up to World War II? Judging by Mark Chisnell’s novel The Fulcrum Files, it was a time of great confusion and self-delusion. I suspect that picture is accurate.

Ben Clayton, our hero, is an engineer for a British aircraft company, but has been assigned to work on preparing a racing yacht for the America’s Cup race (aeronautics and shipbuilding being sister enterprises). Ben was, as a teenager, one of Britain’s best prospects as a boxer, but he nearly killed another boy in a fight. Horrified, he gave up boxing and became a pacifist.

Pacifism is highly popular and respected in England in 1936. As author Chisnell deftly portrays the era, everybody’s got an ideology—pacifism or communism or Labour or Fascism or Aristocracy, and almost everybody has good intentions. The one thing almost everyone agrees on is that there will not be another war. Impossible. The people wouldn’t stand for another bloodbath like the Great War. Hitler has some legitimate grievances, so throw him a bone and everything will settle down.

But when Ben’s best friend is killed in an accident while fitting a new mast, and that friend is found to have been deeply in debt and involved with shady people, Ben sets out to clear his name. He learns things he’d rather not learn, and eventually has to make choices he’d rather not make. It does no good to avoid the war. The war will not avoid you.

I particularly liked the characters in The Fulcrum Files. They seemed authentic and complex, doing very different, even appalling, things out of a desire to do right. We tend today to see World War II (properly) in very black and white terms, but nobody knew those things in 1936, and Chisnell excels at psychological realism. There’s a love story for the ladies, and lots of boats for those who (like me) enjoy reading about the sea.

The Fulcrum Files does not rise to the heights of the thriller genre, but I enjoy a book that tells a smaller story well. Mild cautions for language, violence, and adult subject matter, but the book is suitable for teens and up.

Gleanings

There are a few things I’ve been meaning to mention lately, and hadn’t gotten around to, largely because of my Missouri trip.

The day I left, The American Spectator published Smoker’s Pride, a little parable I wrote. The comments were amusing, but troubling. It appears that a large percentage of the readers couldn’t take the story beyond its literal meaning. Hint: It’s not actually about smoking.

Bryan Preston at The PJ Tatler gave Troll Valley a nice plug in a post on What’s On My Kindle App.

And finally, one more memory from Ravensborg. One of the meats featured at this year’s Viking feast (though no real Viking ever ate it) was raccoon. And yes, I ate some. Fatty and stringy, in my opinion. Many said it tasted like beef, but I thought it was more like pork, with high notes of… yes, chicken.

Hey, if you were surrounded by Vikings and somebody asked you if you wanted to try raccoon meat, would you wimp out?

Viking weekend, Viking weakened



Photo credit: Philip Patton.

I’m heading this post with the picture above, because I’m kind of proud of it. Not that I took it, of course, but I think it catches the tragedy and grandeur of its subject as no photo ever has before. A Viking with a secret sorrow. A plunderer with dyspepsia. Credit to Philip Patton, a talented young man who came along with me to Missouri, and returned with many splendid pictures.

But none of them as splendid as this one, I think. Subject matter is all.

As you may recall, I left Thursday morning for Knox City, Missouri, home of Sam Shoults’s Ravensborg Longphort. All went swimmingly, and Mrs. Hermanson, my Chevy Tracker, was running at her best, when we suddenly rolled to a stop just outside Ottumwa, Iowa. Then followed a call to AAA, a wait for a tow, and a short hop to a nearby auto mechanic, who I must say proved to be both honest and skillful, so far as I could detect (I have it now as a principle never to go to the shop the tow driver recommends. I disregarded his advice on this occasion, and did not regret it). I’ll say the shop’s name, Superior Automotive.

Turned out it was the clutch, the same thing that stranded me on the road a couple years ago, and got fixed then (apparently only temporarily). They named me a price I thought fair (I had experience with this repair, after all), and said they could get it done by 4:00 the next day. Since that would allow us to still make most of the Viking weekend, I readily agreed. They gave us a lift to a nearby motel. The next day they actually finished the job about 2 ½ hours ahead of the estimated time. So I’ve got no complaints.

We finished the trip, and still arrived ahead of several people. This is Ravensborg:

Continue reading Viking weekend, Viking weakened →

Scandinavian matters

I’m only following the Anders Barking Breivik story with half my attention, because everything I hear is irritating, and I’m confident the outcome will be disastrous.

This evil narcissist, by claiming to be a “militant Christian” (though not very religious) may strike the death blow to Norway’s already sickly Christian community. He’s giving a name and a local habitation to all the Left’s fantasies about conservative Christians. Having first of all committed the worst of crimes against the liberal community—the murder of their children—he is now providing them with a propaganda bonanza.

He’s right about one thing, though. They should bring back the death penalty for him. Only they won’t give him the satisfaction.

This is a one-sided coin. There’s no up side.

Moving to Scandinavian matters a lot more pleasant, I’m leaving tomorrow morning for Knox City, Missouri to attend, for the second year in a row, the Return of the Sun Viking event at Ravensborg Longphort.

It ought to be a good time. I had a good time last year, even though there was hardly anyone there I’d met before. For me that’s rare. This year I’ll have several friends around, so I expect I’ll pass out from ecstasy at some point.

Pardon my absence until Monday evening.

A King of Infinite Space, by Tyler Dilts

Here’s a very good, very professional, very engaging first novel, a police procedural, from a promising writer. I enjoyed reading it, and wish the author well, but I won’t be following his work any further, for petty ideological reasons.

Tyler Dilts’s A King of Infinite Space tells the story of Danny Beckett, a Long Beach police detective. He and his partner, a Japanese-American woman who predictably has a black belt and can beat up any man, are called to a high school to view a crime scene where a pretty, popular teacher has been viciously murdered with a knife, her left hand taken as a trophy. The woman seems to have had no enemies, so suspicion immediately falls on a man she dated recently, although Danny doesn’t “like him” for the crime.

As the investigation goes on we learn about Danny’s personal demons (I love detectives with personal demons), and he and his partner dance around a growing sexual attraction, something that seems a poor idea from a professional point of view. The final reveal seemed a little predictable to me.

Although I liked the writing and was intrigued by the characters, Dilts managed to alienate me through frequent political comments. I’ll grant that Danny is supposed to be cynical and bitter, but his utter contempt for the military, for evangelical Christians, and for business sent what seemed to me a clear message about what the author thought of me, personally. So, regretfully, I won’t be stopping at his shop again.

Otherwise, a great cop story. Cautions for language, violence, and adult situations.

Asgard Park, by Ronald Simonar



Here’s a book I got for free from the publisher, for reviewing purposes. They’ll probably be sorry they asked me. I didn’t hate it, but I find at the end that I don’t have a lot of good things to say about it, though I have several bad things.

Asgard Park, by Ronald Simonar, is a novel about Intelligent Design, but not the kind you’re thinking of. In the imagination of the author, there is some kind of intelligence guiding the universe and human life, but it’s not the God of the Bible. To the limited extent that it involves itself in human affairs, it does so through various Chosen Ones, born with special inherited genetic traits, and through the world-wide organization these Chosen Ones lead, the Midgard Group. Kind of like the Illuminati, but in a good way. The Norse god Heimdallr, the guardian of the gods who can hear grass grow, has had his most recent avatar up until now (now being 1991, the year when the novel is set) in a psychologist named Dr. Karl Leamus, who runs Asgard Park, an insane asylum in upstate New York. But Leamus is getting older, and the god has chosen a new vessel, a young Swedish neurologist named Birger Wallenberg who is, more or less, the hero of the book.

Dr. Wallenberg is not happy about having his brain inhabited by a heathen god (a sentiment with which I highly concur), and much of the story centers on his gradual acquiescence in the possession. It also involves an American spy and a beautiful Albanian widow who gets into big trouble with the corrupt government of her up-till-recently-Communist country. Most of the reader’s sympathy will center on her.

There’s also the rather nasty plot element of the widow’s friend, an underage prostitute with whom both the male heroes sleep (though Dr. Wallenberg, to be fair, does it unwittingly, thinking it’s someone else).

Aside from my objections to the theology of the story, and the creepy prostitute angle, I can also complain about the author’s style. Ronald Simonar is an Icelander, but he seems to have a pretty good grasp of English. Unfortunately, it’s not up to the challenge of writing a novel. He has trouble with his diction, confuses English and American slang, and sometimes doesn’t seem to know how to use a contraction. He also misses a big opportunity in his presentation of the whole back story of the Midgard Group and the business of Intelligent Design. It’s all just summarized as something Dr. Wallenberg reads about in a scholarly paper. A more dramatic reveal would have been possible, and would have improved the story.

So, although it could have been worse, I can’t really recommend Asgard Park.

I am the reconciler

Any author, if he can’t claim to be a commercial success, will find comfort in discovering that he’s got what they call a “cult following.” I’m bemused to discover that I seem to be developing a cult following of my own in an area where I’d never have looked for it—pastors and theologians of the Lutheran Church, Missouri Synod.

Professor Gene Edward Veith and Concordia Publishing House publisher Paul T. McCain were early boosters, for whose support I’m extremely grateful. More recently I’ve added “Aardvark” of Aardvark Alley and Pastor Charles Lehman, who posted the following measured evaluation of Troll Valley on Facebook last night:

Lars Walker is a genius. This is indisputable fact and not up for debate. If you disagree with me then one or more of the following are true:

1. You’ve never read any of his books.

2. You’re an idiot.

3. You are a vampire or some other variety of mythical being that lacks a soul.

4. You are Kristin Cashore or Stephanie Meyer.*

*Yes, I do realize that after writing #3 that #4 is redundant.

A recent addition is theologian Dr. Jack Kilcrease, who blogs at Theologia Crucis.

“And this surprises you, how?” you ask. “They’re Lutherans. You’re Lutheran. Sounds more like incest than Romeo and Juliet.”

Ah, but that’s because you don’t know the history of Lutheranism in America. Between Missouri Lutherans and Free Lutherans like me, a great gulf has historically been fixed. Continue reading I am the reconciler →

Thread of Hope, by Jeff Shelby


But I was angry. For seven years, I had been angry. Ever since my daughter disappeared, anger was the only real emotion I carried with me and the only way that I got rid of it was through violence. I would hold it in for as long as possible, but when I found an outlet, I let it go. I’d been in more types of fights than I could count and I couldn’t recall losing one. I had yet to meet anyone who carried the kind of anger I did.

What a pleasure it is to discover a new writer who truly delivers the goods! It doesn’t happen very often. Barring unpleasant surprises when I check out his other work, I am for the moment an enthusiastic fan of Jeff Shelby, author of Thread of Hope.

Aside from writing a pretty good mystery, Shelby provides that rare pleasure, a new hero who’s entirely original, complex, human, and sympathetic.

Joe Tyler makes his living searching for lost children. In the seven years he’s been at it, he has never failed to find a child, except for one—his own daughter. She was snatched from his family’s front lawn just before Christmas, virtually under his and his wife’s noses.

The experience changed Joe forever. He left his wife, who still loves him. He left his career as a cop on Coronado Island, near San Diego, California. He looks for lost children, and has no other life. He has no relationships, and does not communicate with old friends. In many ways, he’s a jerk. He cares nothing for tact. He asks the questions that need to be asked, regardless of the feelings of the people he’s talking to. Because it’s not about human relations. It’s about finding the kids.

But when he gets a call telling him that his oldest and best friend back on Coronado has been attacked and left in a coma, and that before the attack the friend was accused of beating up a teenage girl, he sucks it up and goes home. Everything he sees and all the old acquaintances he meets open the wounds for him, but he owes this guy—and before long there’s a kid missing.

I loved this book. Every line was deeply felt. Joe Tyler is a compelling character, tragic and aggravating, yet sympathetic. The other characters are rounded too—many of them prove to be something other than they appear at first glance, always a good thing in a novel.

Highly recommended. Cautions for language and mature material.