A moment in the Viking camp at Tivoli Fest, years ago. Several of these people are no longer alive.
Dropped a book I was reading today. Yet again. I’m old, and have only so much time left; why should I waste any of it on novels that insult me?
This book (which I got in a free offer) was passably written (though the author had a tendency to misplace modifiers). I was giving it a fair chance. I thought it was moving a little slowly, and the characters were somewhat hard to keep straight, but that’s probably because I’m old.
Then the two detectives (one white male, one black female) interview a young male slacker whose ex-girlfriend has disappeared. The b.f. detective thinks he’s a suspect. The w.m. detective says maybe she could give him a break; he just got bad news about his ex. The w.m. retorts that he’s just a typical white male; no responsibility.
And the w.m. male apologizes.
Apologizes.
I didn’t care for the slacker character myself, but his sin wasn’t that he was a white male. Is that the new acceptable stereotype – white males are all shiftless? Seriously?
Into the bin with that one.
I had a scary moment with my car too. Went to the grocery store, and as I left the parking lot I heard a dull rattling sound from the rear end. Feared the worst.
Then I thought, that sounds a little like wood bumping on plastic. It could be my wooden apple crate, in which I keep my linen table cover and various informational signs and promotional items for my book sales. I’d just loaded it in the back of the cargo area.
So after I got home I offloaded the crate and tried driving around some more. No noise. Great was my relief.
Because I’m going out of town this weekend. A long Viking trip – not as long as the Minot drive used to be, but a good 5 hours, probably closer to 6 when you figure in lunch and comfort stops.
The event is the Tivoli Fest in Elk Horn, Iowa. If you’re in the neighborhood of southwest Iowa, you might check it out.
Elk Horn is a tiny town, only 600 or so residents. But it boasts two museums of Danish heritage – the Museum of Danish America and the Danish Windmill Museum.
It’s been many, many years since my group has gone to Tivoli, due to circumstances best left to history. Enough to say at this point that our invitation to participate has been renewed, and we’re happy to be going. It was always a great event. I recall especially the Saturday night fireworks, which apparently are still on the program. Elk Horn punches way above its weight when it comes to fireworks. I’ve seen far less impressive displays in far bigger communities.
And, of course, I will have books to sell. Looking forward to it. Pray for me, if you think of it, that my car will hold up and my sales may prosper greatly. Like a great… Dane.
A few days ago I mentioned the immortal story, “Uncle Fred Flits By,” by P.G. Wodehouse. Our friend David Llewellyn Dodds, in the comments, brought up the 4 Star English television production starring David Niven. I said I’d posted it here once — but was too lazy to check to see if that post was still up. David took the trouble to check and found that the post was indeed here, but the link to the video was dead (as is so often the case with classic material on YouTube). He said, however, that another version has now been posted.
So there it is, above. It has been, I am sad to say, colorized — though if cinematic graffiti artists must paint over things, I suppose it’s better that they deface comedies than dramas.
The production is successful, all in all, though I have quibbles. It would be hard to imagine a better choice for Uncle Fred than David Niven. The guy they cast as Pongo, though, is wrong to a high degree. Pongo is a young man of the Bertie Wooster type, good-looking, well-dressed, a clubman handicapped only by tight finances.
A few small changes to the story, whose purposes elude me, have been made. Still, it’s pretty good, and better than most anything you’ll see on Netflix these days.
Tonight, not a hymn, but “A Foggy Day in London Town,” a show tune loosely connected to the sainted P. G. Wodehouse.
“Damsels in Distress” is a 1937 Fred Astaire vehicle, co-starring Joan Fontaine. This was the first movie Astaire made after his partnership with Ginger Rogers broke up, and the project was complicated by the distressing discovery that Miss Fontaine couldn’t dance. Oops. (I find it hard to understand how anyone, even a very pretty young woman, could make it in the theater/movie world without learning to dance a little. Maybe she just wasn’t up to Astaire’s standard. That I call highly plausible.)
The film’s story, in any case, is based on a 1919 novel of Wodehouse’s, incorporating his personal experience in Broadway theater. Sadly, he didn’t do any lyrics for this show.
The movie, I’m sorry to report, did not do well, despite the presence of a young couple of comedians who called themselves George Burns and Gracie Allen. But its reputation seems to have grown with time.
I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it. I need to check it out.
Old Main, Augsburg College. Creative Commons image from Wikimedia Commons.
As I was reading Mark Helprin’s latest (marvelous) novel, Elegy in Blue, I was struck by his evocation of life in the New York borough of Brooklyn, a community not commonly cited as a spiritual or esthetic center. Thus does memory transmogrify location. It put me in mind of the place I remember as my happiest home, also not a particular beauty spot, but transfigured in memory.
It was my final year of college. I went to Augsburg College (now known, hubristically, as Augsburg University) in Minneapolis. Augsburg was always a rather cramped institution, shoehorned physically into the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood (due to historical developments I know about but won’t bore you with). It’s Little Somalia now, but back then Cedar-Riverside still remembered the time when it was nicknamed “Snoose Boulevard.” It clusters around a seven-cornered intersection where Scandinavian immigrants flocked in the 1880s and ‘90s. Bars and churches were scattered about.
My roommate and I (he was a large, impressive young man who eventually became a Russian Orthodox monk and now resides in a mental institution in California) took over the upstairs apartment from some friends who were moving on. The benefits of the place were a) its proximity to the college, and b) its proximity to five pretty Christian girls in an apartment next door. The main drawback was the landlady. She was a human relic, alcohol and tobacco-permeated. White as an albino, purely from staying indoors. Wrinkled and saggy and quivering, like a walking blancmange. She used to yell up the stairs for me or my roommate to come help her move something heavy, and occasionally she would poke around in our space when we were gone.
A steep staircase led up to our quarters. To its left there was a small, L-shaped room. “This,” said my roommate, who was more impressed than I with my plans to be an author, “will be your office. You will write here.” And so I did. My steel desk, disassembled for the move, fit exactly into the lower angle of the “L”. My personal library sat behind me, on bricks-and-boards bookshelves.
Next to my office was the living room, with one window pane broken and covered in cardboard (it was never fixed in my time). There my roommate set up his multitudinous library, hundreds of books, some of which I think he may have actually read. Then there was the bedroom and the kitchen, floors covered in undulating linoleum. At the back, the bathroom and a back staircase – a comforting amenity in a building where squirrels sometimes nibbled the wiring.
I studied in my little office, of course (managed a cum laude), but when I sat down to write I felt like an absolute fraud. I spent a lot of time thinking about one of the Girls Next Door. I had fallen for her before I moved in, which, from a purely operational perspective, was bad strategy. I should have gotten to know them all to see if there was a reciprocal spark with any of them. But I bet my shirt on one and, needless to say, lost said garment.
But for a while there, I was a man in love. I enjoyed being in love, and I enjoyed thinking of myself as a guy in love.
After the Great Disaster, I sat in that office, looking out through the much-repainted window frame where I’d seen her passing below many times, and decided that, okay, I was fated to be a tortured artist. I’d better get on with it.
I did two fateful things then. First of all, I pulled the textbooks I’d saved from my old college Norwegian classes off the bricks-and-boards shelf. I began systematically studying the language; I hadn’t really worked at it when I took the classes. I think I had a vague idea of going to Norway someday and finding Love. In any case, the study paid off in time.
Secondly, I took my little Sears portable typewriter (brown in color) and began the first draft of what would become my novel, Wolf Time. I didn’t finish that draft then, but eventually I would. Later I would rewrite it entirely. But it was a start. You’ve got to start someplace.
When I looked out my narrow window, the view wasn’t a bad one. Minneapolis is a green city, and it was greener back then. The house we lived in no longer exists – they razed the whole block some years later, to build a chapel devoted to whatever God it is they worship at Augsburg now. But back then I could look across the street to see bits of Augsburg’s brown brick on my left. Directly across, a number of houses, many of which were probably used for apartments like ours. The second house from the corner I will never forget, because it housed a musician who used to climb up on the roof from time to time in the evening and play the flute. I don’t think anybody complained. He played well, and this was the 1970s. Everybody understood, I think, that having a flutist on a roof in our neighborhood gave us countercultural cred.
On the corner was the co-op grocery store, another stab at the Man. Neither I nor my roommate ever shopped there.
Time passed. We moved out and went on to other things. Augsburg tore our house down (no great crime against art or humanity in itself) and apostatized (I don’t think the two actions were related). Cedar-Riverside moved on to fresh minorities. Minneapolis ceased to be the kind of place where people return your wallet if you drop it.
And I, as you know, became rich and famous. But in some sense it started in that apartment.
Yesterday I had three ideas for blog posts, all of which seemed to me both intriguing and easy to remember – so why write them down?
Today, of course, I’ve forgotten them all.
The only thing I came up with today – for no reason I can think of – was the song in the video above, quaintly illustrated with footage of model trains. Well, I’m the grandson of a railroad man (a line foreman), so why not post about the legendary Casey Jones?
As a child, I thought of Casey Jones as a burly blonde man, due to seeing a syndicated TV series about him starring Alan Hale, Jr. (later to be Skipper on “Gilligan’s Island”), and a local Minnesota kids’ TV show, starring a guy constructed along roughly the same lines. In fact, Jones was a tall, thin, dark-haired fellow. His name was John Luther Jones (1864-1900). He was born in Missouri, but his family moved to Cayce, Kentucky, from which he acquired the nickname “Casey.” He married a Roman Catholic girl in 1886 and converted to that church.
Jones went to work for the Mobile & Ohio Railroad as a telegraph operator, but rose rapidly to the lofty position of engineer, moving to the Illinois Central railroad. He achieved, if not celebrity, at least some public distinction during the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair, when he was one of the engineers assigned to carry tourists to the fairgrounds. He was popular with the passengers, and enjoyed the work.
As an engineer, he was known to be a risk-taker. There were penalties for skirting safety rules, and he racked up a fair number of them, but Jones and the other engineers were well aware that the penalties for late arrival were greater. In any case, he seems to have liked the challenge. He was a speed junky – in a later time he might have been a race car driver or jet pilot. He was proud of his “on time” record, and is credited with performing an authentic real-life rescue worthy of a movie – sighting a child standing frozen on the tracks as he worked on the engine’s running board, he climbed out onto the cowcatcher and scooped her safely up in his arms.
He worked out of Jackson, Tennessee until 1900, the year of his death, when he transferred to Memphis. On April 30, 1900, at 12:50 a.m., he boarded his regular engine 75 minutes behind schedule (accounts differ as to whether he’d been given time to rest properly). The weather and track conditions were good, and he whooped and poured on the speed, confident he could make up the time. Unbeknownst to him, a train stalled at Vaughn, Mississippi, too long for the siding, was blocking the track. A flagman had been sent out to give warning, but Jones either did not see him or saw him too late. When he realized he was going to plow into the other train, he blew the whistle (as a warning), reversed the engine, and told his fireman to jump. He himself stayed in place. His train hit the boxcar, derailed, and finally came to a rest. There were some injuries, but only Casey Jones died. Since that time there have been quibbles, but most people considered him a hero.
“The Ballad of Casey Jones” seems to have been first sung by Wallace Saunders, a black engine wiper who’d been a friend of Casey’s. However, it’s not certain what words or music he sang; he never wrote them down. The ballad evolved into the folk song we know today. It’s been recorded by many artists.
The Commie labor agitator Joe Hill wrote a version called, “Casey Jones, the Union Scab,” which was a vile slander – John Luther Jones was a paid-up union member.
Photo credit: Jon Tyson (jontyson). Unsplash license.
“How’s it going?” a hypothetical interlocutor asks me.
Well, stuff is happening. My life is not dull. On a positive note, I just got an opportunity (not a lead-pipe cinch, but a possibility) to get involved in a writing project. I’m not going to tell you what it is right now. If I make the cut, I’ll let you know. If not, I’ll plausibly deny any and all knowledge of the whole matter, an eternally believable dodge in my case.
I have, I think I’ve mentioned before, two separate editing jobs with deadlines coming up soon. One pays money, the other (I can only hope) treasures in Heaven.
Have I done any more driving for Uber Eats? Not this week. I’ve been busy with the editing stuff, and – can I be frank with you? – I’m still a little scared. I’ve learned a lot in my first few runs, and one thing I’ve learned is that my Android phone is way underpowered. The many glitches I’ve experienced in the Uber Eats app are (I now suspect) due to my phone just running out of memory. I’d already decided to restart the thing after each delivery. Now I plan to refuse all “stacked” deliveries – deliveries where you pick up from two vendors located close to each other, and then deliver both in a single run. Every time I try that, the app refuses to give me directions, and I have to switch to Google Maps. I’ll see if doing only singles makes it better.
But not tonight. More editing has come in. I figure I need to prioritize the editing, even though shirking Uber Eats embarrasses me.
A friend suggested I get a new phone. I told him that if I could afford a new phone, I probably wouldn’t be driving for Uber Eats.
Life, said the wise man, is a choice of the lesser of two embarrassments.
I found this video on YouTube. It seems to me both wonderful and troubling.
First of all, Jack Lewis is using “my” microphone. It’s a Blue Yeti, and I have one exactly like it, even unto the color. (Or “colour,” as he would have spelled it.)
Secondly, it’s pretty well done, except for a couple glitches. The voice appears to be cloned from Lewis’ well-known The Four Loves recordings. (On the downside, I’ve read a statement from one of Lewis’s friends, who says that that was not his normal speaking style.)
The troubling aspect is – of course – just that this is A.I. I’m almost obligated to hate A.I., which took a much-needed job away from me.
The very idea of resurrecting actual humans through A.I. is just disturbing to many of us, whether it’s affected our bottom lines or not. It seems creepy, like necromancy. However, I’m not sure that creepy feeling is to be trusted. When radio was a new technology, there was a fair number of sincere Christians who denounced it as demonic – voices coming through the air; that has to come from the domain of the Prince of the Powers of the Air! (For our young readers, that’s a biblical reference to the devil (Ephesians 2:2 in the King James Version).
But the bottom line, for me, is that I found it kind of fun.
I’d like to see more of this sort of stuff, and no doubt I will. Maybe somebody can recreate Moody preaching, or Jonathan Edwards declaiming “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” (contemporaries reported that he read it from a manuscript, in a very rote voice).
The best thing about A.I. might be that it could kill Hollywood. We can bring back the great actors of the past and cast them in new movies, bypassing Wokeness. I’d love to see a young Clint Eastwood playing Travis McGee, for instance. Authors could have total control of film adaptations. Who wants to do an A.I. production of The Year of the Warrior for 50 bucks? I might be able to spring for half of that.
Medieval altar to Saint Olaf preserved in Nidaros Cathedral.
Someone on Basefook brought this project to my attention. The idea is to locate the lost bones of St. Olaf (best remembered as a character in my Erling novels) for scientific and cultural purposes.
For a saint as problematic as he was in life, St. Olaf swung disproportionate weight in the religious life of the European Middle Ages. His shrine in Nidaros Cathedral was a rich and elaborate one, making the city of Trondheim a very popular pilgrimage destination (perhaps people calculated that the hard trip over Norwegian terrain would earn them extra penance points). Pilgrims streamed in from all over Europe, lifting up prayers, looking for miracles, and spending money. Sigrid Undset describes such pilgrimages in several of her novels.
During the Reformation, Olaf’s shrine was demolished and broken up, the proceeds going to the king. Yet it seems that the bones themselves were not destroyed. Instead, they seem to have been re-buried covertly. Anyone who knew the secret of their location did not pass it on. But now there’s this project to rediscover them using modern scientific techniques.
My Basefook friends have expressed mixed views on the project. Many of them are – reasonably – concerned that if the bones are recovered, they will once again become the object of pilgrimages and devotion. We Protestants don’t hold with that stuff, and I agree.
Yet, all things considered, I’m for it. I believe in freedom of religion, so let the Roman Catholics do what they like. If it serves as a counterweight to the advance of Islam in Europe, it’s the lesser of two evils, it seems to me. What I’d like is for Lutheran Norway to be preserved, but I’ll take a Catholic Norway over a Muslim one.
Also, I’ll be interested in what analysis of the bones will reveal.
I signed the petition. I’ll be watching the project’s progress with interest.
I pick up a fair number of novels through free and low-price offers from various sources. I made it about a third of the way through one of them recently before I dumped it. “Why did you do such a thing?” you ask, wide-eyed. I shall explain.
I won’t give you the title or the author; I don’t like dissing a book unless I’ve taken the trouble to finish it. And the prose was actually okay, if somewhat unimaginative. The book was part of an ongoing series. The series involves a private eye who’s struggling with a deteriorating relationship with the woman he fell in love with in an earlier episode. He’s also constantly bullied by the office manager at the agency he works for (she’s his boss’s mother). And he’s a slave to his cat.
What struck me about this detective “hero” was that he was almost entirely what’s nowadays called a “beta”. He’s supposed to be big and strong and capable of handling himself, but he’s constantly worrying about his relationship and his job and his pet. I began to suspect that the author of the book must have been a woman writing under a man’s name, but maybe it was a male author aiming at the female audience. Because this (in my experience) is how woman authors tend to frame their stories.
Make no mistake – I like my heroes to have home lives and relationships. I just don’t like to see them “simping” all over the place. (I’m pretty sure that if I ever had a girlfriend, I’d be a gold-medal simp, but that doesn’t make me admire such behavior.)
I’m going to say something now that will probably offend our female readers (there might be as many as five in all, I suppose). I think this whole feminism thing has been a misunderstanding.
You know the constant complaint women have about men? That men want to go ahead and fix things, while women simply want to talk about them? I think that’s our problem in a global sense.
The female point of view has been explained to me thus: When a woman talks to a man about a problem, she’s not actually talking about the particular thing she brought up. She just wants to talk about her general unhappiness, and that precise problem is only meant as an opening example. What she wants is to explore the whole range of her concerns. When the man jumps in and “fixes” it, he’s short-circuiting the process by which women naturally work through things.
I think feminism is the same thing, on a grand scale. The women of the world (or at least the West) said, “We’re unhappy. We can’t have careers like men do. We’re restricted to motherhood or nursing or clerical work.” So the men went ahead and fixed it. We gave them all kinds of opportunities, so that now they dominate the universities and are beginning to dominate business and politics.
And the women are more unhappy than ever.
Because that wasn’t the actual problem. They’re still waiting to work out the actual problem. Meanwhile, we’re surrounded by miserable female businesspeople, academics, and politicians.
I think we need to talk it all over again, and we men should listen this time.
Or rather, the rest of you men should. I’m old and single. I’ll just sit over here and read a book.
Above, you may savor the view I enjoyed most of this past weekend, as I sat in all my splendor in the Viking camp at iFest Minnesota, at the St. Paul RiverCentre. As you can almost see, I was conveniently close to the French patisserie, which is behind the woman in the white sweatshirt – though I can say with pride that I only purchased one of their offerings – a strawberry-and-whipped cream crépe, which I divided with a friend. (I’m taking my doctor’s warnings about blood glucose seriously.)
The whole festival, Friday and Saturday, was pretty generally a success. This is a festival that had gone on for decades, and then died during Covid. But now they’re trying to revive it under a hip new name. The results were promising. Friday was mostly a day for school groups, so the place was filled with shrieking younglings. Such a crowd does not buy a lot of books, though. After the kids were gone, attendance was poor, and we worried a little. This, by the way, is what our camp looked like:
We were conveniently close to the Men’s Room (which I always appreciate) as well as to the food booths. The cultural exhibits (with their wares) were way over on the other side, and I never ventured there. This is not a time for discretionary expenditures.
We were also close to a music stage. Generally I enjoyed the music, but some of it did get a little loud – which made it difficult for a deaf old man to sell books.
But sell books I did. Crowds were gratifying on Saturday, and I had one of the best bookselling days I’ve ever had. Two different customers sprang for the whole Erling Saga all at once – and one of them bought Viking Legacy too.
I was also surprised (and pleased) by the interest so many people displayed in the Vikings. I sold Viking Legacy to two or three people who were distinctly non-Caucasian; genuine interest without personal stakes, which I have to admire. I spent some time telling a young woman in a burka about the extent of Viking voyaging. I spoke of Christian faith with a lovely young Phillipine woman. And I was “interviewed” (sort of, it wasn’t recorded that I could see) by somebody from Minnesota Public Radio who was curious about our group.
So all in all, a great (and profitable) weekend. Sunday I crashed, of course, a spent force
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