Category Archives: Writing

Thoughts on writing: On being cool

It will surely not surprise you that I was never cool. Not even close. Like all young men (and old men, to be honest), I longed to be effortlessly effective and gracefully dangerous. The kind of guy that women wanted, as they say, and men wanted to be.

When I was entering my teen years (the horror! The horror!), there was abroad in the world a clear and universal ideal of coolness, one that will also not surprise you – James Bond, played by Sean Connery. Now, make no mistake. Young prig that I was, I strenuously disapproved of James Bond. All I heard of the books and movies offended me. Sexual promiscuity plus a license to kill. One article I read somewhere described the stories as “a moral holiday.” I made tsk-tsk noises and bragged that I’d never seen any of the movies, which I imagined tantamount to porn.

But for all that, I was not immune to the mystique. The tall, dark, handsome physical form. The tailored suits and tuxedos. Even the graceful lighting of a cigarette. If I never watched a James Bond movie, I watched a score of his substitutes on TV – Patrick McNee as John Steed, Robert Vaughn as Napoleon Solo, Robert Culp as Kelly Robinson. When those guys walked down the street, they never stumbled. They never walked into things. They never dropped anything and had to bend down and pick it up again.

As years passed, I came to realize that (though it’s undoubtable that these guys – like almost every guy on the planet – were cooler than I am) even they weren’t as cool as they looked on the screen. They had one advantage none of us mere real-life humans have.

They had re-takes.

When a movie is shot, they ordinarily film a scene over and over. Even Sean Connery stumbled and tripped from time to time, I’m pretty sure. Forgot to zip his fly up. Dribbled sauce on his shirt.

When it’s a movie, it’s no problem. Go back to the beginning, change shirts if necessary, and the director yells, “Take two! Action!”

The result – the perfect illusion of Coolness.

Secondary, unintended result – an illusion of inferiority among audience members.

There’s something similar that goes on in writing. So many aspiring writers feel paralyzed by the illusion that they’re expected to get it right the first time. They look at their first draft, and they’re unhappy with it, and their spirits plunge. “I’m a failure!” they scream.

(I am, by the way, experiencing the same reaction myself, in my fledgling efforts at producing audiobooks. I permit myself to be discouraged by failed first attempts at recording. Every new challenge, it seems, brings identical emotional reactions. Nothing new under the skull.)

As writers, we enjoy the same advantage Sean Connery had in the James Bond movies. We don’t have to get it right the first time. We can shoot as many takes as we want. In fact, we have it better than Connery, who was working with expensive film. With word processing, we don’t even have to pay for cheap typing paper. We can revise our work into oblivion.

Which is another, different temptation, but one I’ve never personally had a problem with.

Gunmetal: “I don’t think it means what you think it means…”

This is sort of the kind of weather I was thinking of, but the fields should be brighter. Photo credit: Raychel Sanner. Unsplash license.

There’s a word (probably there are several, but this is the one I’m aware of at the moment) with which I’ve had a lifelong relationship. A dysfunctional relationship. (But pretty much all my relationships are like that.)

The word is “gunmetal.” And to understand what it means to me, I have to take you back (kicking and screaming, probably) to my childhood (which was an extremely tedious one during the periods when it wasn’t extremely horrific).

I spent a lot of time in my head. I was thinking like a writer, I think, even though I wasn’t actually doing much writing. But I was thinking about words, as well as the things that mattered to me.

One thing that happened in my emotional world was that I fell in love with a certain kind of weather. It’s a summer day, and the sun has been shining brightly. And then a storm blows up on the horizon. So there’s bright sunlight where I am, but a dark, dark backdrop of clouds is looming in the distance. And all of nature – the grass, the golden fields, the trees, are shining with the full brightness of summer in contrast to that dark wall of approaching storm. Like an army of dark trolls advancing on a city of treasure.

Such days filled me with longing and aspiration. They were a promise that life could be bigger, richer, more transcendent. Ordinary life might be tedious and gray and repetitious, but beauty did exist. There it was, right before my eyes, no charge for admission. Even I could dream of higher things.

And when I thought about how I’d write a description of such a day, I hit on the word “Gunmetal.”

Yeah, that was it! Gray like a gun barrel, in contrast to the gold and green of the earth.

Then I looked up the word in a dictionary.

“Gunmetal” does not mean steel gray.

Gunmetal is a type of bronze – an alloy of copper, tin and zinc. It’s gold in color. Sometimes it’s also called “red brass.” They call it gunmetal because naval cannons used to be made of it.

Nothing gray about it at all, except, I suppose, for the smoke.

Well, that made me feel ignorant.

But imagine my amusement when, more than once over my years of reading, I’ve come across a page where some novelist describes a sky as “gunmetal gray.”

So I suppose I could get away with it too, if I wanted to.

But by now it’s kind of a cliché.

If you’re gonna have a cliché, it seems to me it ought to be accurate, at least.

Plotting problem #2

A story is told of Wild Bill Hickok in his later, declining years. Wild Bill had given up on law enforcement after accidentally killing a friend while stopping a riot (it’s believed his eyesight was failing). He’d tried stage acting with Buffalo Bill Cody, but couldn’t bear it. He was subsisting as a professional gambler, spending his days in saloons and (occasionally) his nights in jail for vagrancy.

Admirers surrounded him in the saloons, and he’d regale them with stories. Tall tales about his days as an Indian scout. He’d describe a situation where he was alone on a hill, wounded, his horse dead, nearly out of ammunition, surrounded by thousands of Indians charging on horseback.

“What did you do, Wild Bill?” a wide-eyed audience member would ask.

“I got killed,” he would answer. And everyone would laugh and somebody would buy him a drink.

This illustrates Problem Number Two in story plotting, in my personal sequence.

I think it was last week that I wrote here about plotting problems. I referred to a difficulty I’ve mentioned often – that of the author’s (and by the author’s I mean mainly my) difficulty in testing our characters to the extremes. This is Problem Number One.

Since then, Plotting Problem Number Two has occurred to me. It’s the problem Wild Bill solved with his joke:

You have succeeded in inventing a horrible problem for your hero to solve.

Now, how do you resolve it?

Let me make a revelation – writers are not necessarily more resourceful in real life than the average member of the population. Indeed, I’m not sure most of us are in the upper percentile. If I wanted a non-literary problem solved in real life, I think an author would be one of my last choices for a resource person. I suspect a successful businessman might be optimal.

In general, however, as storytellers, what we do is cheat.

Fortunately, we have the advantage of being in control of time, in our small created worlds.

“I could get my hero out of this corner if he had a Swiss Army Knife,” I decide after pondering the problem for a while.

As the almighty author of the story, I can then go back a few pages and insert a scene to provide him with that Swiss Army Knife. I might show him putting on his coat and feeling its weight in his pocket. Perhaps he thinks then that he never uses the thing and it’s wearing on the fabric. He ponders unburdening himself of it, but he’s in a hurry.

Voila! He now has the knife when he needs it.

(The brilliant William Goldman has a laugh at such a situation in the clip from “The Princess Bride” above.)

But my Swiss Army Knife is a very simple example. Not very creative.

The sneakier you can be, the better.

Suppose he doesn’t need a pocket knife. Suppose he finds out he’s been poisoned. He tries to induce vomiting with a finger down his throat, but he can’t make it work.

Ah, but you, the sneaky author, can go back and add a scene in the first part of the story where the hero’s landlady forces a Tupperware bowl of her onion soup on him. He throws it into the back seat of his car, meaning to discard it. Because she always does this, and he hates onion soup.

But now he crawls to his car, finds the container of soup, and slurps it down. And it tastes so disgusting to him that he’s enabled to empty his stomach, thus saving his life.

I remember a story I read years ago. I think it was one of Bill Pronzini’s Nameless Detective stories. A couple characters in this particular story comment about how badly the detective hero dresses – they particularly criticize the cheap polyester ties he wears.

Later in the story, the detective discovers his girlfriend, who struggles with depression, has hanged herself with one of his ties.

The author inserts a break in the story at this point, to let us despair along with his character.

Then we have a scene (spoiler alert) where he’s talking to the doctor who treated the woman. The doctor says what saved her life was the cheap polyester tie, which stretched so much that it slowed her asphyxiation.

Nice trick, neatly executed.

The cruel art of writing


Gülfer ERGİN gulfergin_01
Unsplash License.

I suppose the book suffered by comparison with all the great novels I’ve been reading lately. MacDonald, Kaminsky, Kellerman, Hurwitz. Books from authors who know how to hook me and reel me in, feeding my addiction like a pusher. I’ve been going through some personal drama recently, and I discovered that, for all its vaunted capacity to zombify us, the internet failed to provide me the genuine distraction I required. Only the ancient, beloved magic of a really good book could make me lose myself and forget idle care for a while.

So I saw a mystery being offered free in a promotional deal. Looked interesting, and I had nothing to lose downloading it.

And I really started rooting for this author. Unlike so many new authors I see these days, he actually knew how to spell. His usage was correct. His grammar was right. I greatly wanted this guy to succeed.

I held out through about 40% of the book. I really gave him a chance.

But he bored me.

The plot was promising – the reliable old trope of a man falsely accused of murder, hiding from the law, trying to discover the true culprit. There was plenty of potential for peril.

But I didn’t feel the danger as the story was being told. And I thought the hero was acting like an idiot. I just couldn’t care much after a while.

I hope the author gets it together. He can write a sentence. All he needs is to learn plotting.

Plotting. That’s one of those topics where, as the preachers say, I point a finger at someone else and find my four other fingers pointing back at me.

I don’t consider myself a very good plotter myself.

Maybe it’s soft-heartedness. I posted on Facebook a while back that “The true villain of every story is the author.” Plotting comes down to torturing your characters. Every bad thing that happens to them was thought up by you. Giving them a break is bad for the story, a betrayal of the reader.

Or maybe there’s something else I haven’t learned yet. Some holy grail of plotting still hovering outside my ken.

Thinking about Tolkien

I was thinking, based on something I saw on Facebook, that today is J. R. R. Tolkien’s birthday. Then I took the unwonted precaution of checking it, and found that it’s actually tomorrow.

Which means I can actually post this in time for you to see it soon enough to do something about it.

So if you want to prepare for the traditional Tolkien toast, that will be tomorrow. Friday.

Tolkien is (he said, in a low voice as if he was expressing something not entirely predictable) a great inspiration to me.

For years, the man toiled away at this huge project, shoehorning it into his rare free moments. With no realistic prospect of publication, ever. He had no reason in the world to believe that anyone would be interested in reading it. When his friend C. S. Lewis said he liked it, “Tollers” was delighted.

Think of the cultural phenomenon The Lord of the Rings has become since that time. The millions of copies sold in a multitude of languages. The biographies and commentaries and scholarship. The film adaptations. The fandom. The games and memorabilia and merchandising. Whole careers have been built on the back of this fantasy, which has proven a very solid, load-bearing structure indeed, for a work of the imagination.

It’s hard to believe that there was a time when the story had one (1) fan in the world, outside of Tolkien’s own family.

It’s this kind of fact that keeps delusions alive in lesser writers. I could name one in particular, but let’s not talk about … him.

All together now: “The Professor!”

What Christian Art Is All About

A Christian professor of fiction published a piece “To the Christian Writer” in which he recommends good art as a thing separate from Christian faith.

He begins by saying, “there’s no such thing as Christian art.” If someone wants to be a Christian, he should pursue it wholeheartedly, but “bad art comes out when you compromise art-making with some other intent.” Some other intent like Christian morals.

“If your fiction feels like it’s veering toward a moral conclusion, stop.”

I want to understand this professor’s argument and view it charitably, and I agree moralistic fiction is often shallow and ugly. I’m sure if I ever gain the courage to pick up Sheldon’s In His Steps, the novel that gave us the question “What Would Jesus Do?” I’ll regret it. I couldn’t make it past chapter one of The Shack. But separating Christian devotion from art sounds post-modern to me in all the wrong ways. What is art if it cannot be pursued as an expression of Christian truth?

I’m not sure he’s actually saying that, because he also says, “As a Christian person, would you not say it’s a joy to follow God? So follow him through your work. Quit telling him where to stand and how to speak.” That’s good. It calls back to moralistic work which may sound Christian while being far from it. That’s not good art.

“Preconceived moralizing jacketed in fiction aims for the head and the heart. If you want to be a good writer, aim elsewhere.” What does that mean? Aim for the spleen? What is good art if it doesn’t move the heart or elevate the affections (thinking of Jonathan Edwards’s language)? What makes the work of Margaret Atwood, Jack Kerouac, Barbara Kingsolver, Haruki Murakami, Annie Proulx, or Salman Rushdie objectively good that he recommends them over Lewis, Chesterton, and O’Connor?

Could it be we’re actually wrestling over cultural respectability — that our work would find approval in the New York Times Review of Books or Harper’s Magazine?

I think art is its own virtue, like planting and tending a tree, and artistic choices are also moral choices. Some choices are going to be more accessible to the public than others. Some will require greater levels of skill to succeed. In all of these choices, the best ones (though maybe not the most popular) will be true, real, and good. Isn’t that what Christian art is all about?

Photo by Peter Ivey-Hansen on Unsplash

Gazing into the creative abyss

Should I share negative thoughts about my own books on this blog? Is it acceptable to indulge in self-criticism, or should the tone be relentlessly rah-rah and self-promotional?

Oh heck, that ship sailed long ago.

I’m working on formatting The Ghost of the God-Tree, the second part of The Year of the Warrior, for paperback. I’m not saying it’s bad. It’s got some strong stuff in it.

But I think it’s among my weakest books. There are lots of things I’d change, if I didn’t feel obligated to keep the editions relatively uniform.

And I’m pretty sure why.

I am very grateful to Baen Books, and to Jim Baen the maverick publisher, who gave me what little legitimacy in the industry I possess.

But Jim had a system. A program for his authors. And into that program I did not fit well.

Jim felt that nothing contributed more to an author’s success than having a bunch of books with his name on them all together on the shelves in the bookstores. This worked for him again and again. He knew his business. In order to achieve that shelf-space goal, he wanted several books from his new authors, quick. That’s why I got a three-book deal.

The problem is, I’m not a fast writer. I’ll admit that some of my languid output is due to laziness and inattention. Fair enough, mea culpa. But regardless of that, it just takes me a while, and many drafts, to produce decent prose. It took me years to produce Erling’s Word, the first part of the book. The Ghost of the God-Tree was written in haste, and suffers from my parental neglect.

On the other hand, judging by history, I’m probably being a little over-critical here.

And there are parts I like. I enjoyed the section where Ailill (Aillil) and Asta go to Thor’s country and meet the god himself. I thought that was kind of fun.

Go West Oversea, young man!

Brandywine Books is indeed your go-to venue for major publishing news! Today, for instance, I find this item, selected purely at random from among the many notices that flood our executive offices:

West Oversea is now available as an ebook on Amazon!

Granted, it was available on Amazon the day before yesterday, too. But in the interim I have worked my publishing magic. WO is no longer a Nordskog Publishing book, but part of my own burgeoning publishing empire.

Tomorrow I hope to get the paper version uploaded.

I may or may not make a splashy announcement about that. Depends on how slow the news day is.

Today was a big day for me for another reason. I finally found myself with a few hours I could call my own, and I went out and bought myself a new laptop. For years I’ve been bouncing from one cheap laptop to another; you may recall me kvetching a while back about how hard the letters on my keyboard were to read, and the fact that I couldn’t view the thumbnails of my saved photos. The keys on this one are white on black – and illuminated(!). And I can see the thumbnails just fine. Seems to have been a matter of digital memory or the flux capacitor or something. I am reveling in the snappy response and the vivid graphics.

Occasionally I get a brief respite in my life where my financial head is above water. This is one of those times. So I treated myself. A parsimonious man I am, son of a haywire farmer. Making a semi-large expenditure is a challenge. But I do use the contraption for work, I must insist.

My only complaint is that I couldn’t plug in the plug-in thing for my wireless mouse. Have they changed USB connectors that much since I bought the thing? I’ve got a replacement coming from Amazon; until then it’s the humble track pad for me.

I also bought a little tensor lamp to illuminate the Sigrid Undset biography I’m translating, so I can work more easily at night.

It’s all conspicuous consumption, I guess. I did, after all, grow up near the home of Thorstein Veblen.

A work in progress

Photo credit: James Tarbotton. Unsplash license.

I have no idea where I’m going with tonight’s post. I just have some thoughts provoked by my paperback book project. As I’ve told you before, all my self-published Erling Skjalgsson books (except for The Baldur Game, still waiting in the wings) are now available as paperbacks, thanks to backbreaking effort on my own part.

Currently I’m working on West Oversea. Its previous publisher, Nordskog Publishing, has transferred all rights to me, and I’m currently going through the manuscript, formatting it as an e-book form. Nordskog was kind enough to provide me with the graphic files for all their neat art, and I’m embedding that stuff now. My version won’t look exactly like Nordskog’s, but it will have similarities.

Which gets me thinking about some of the stuff I sort of learned in library school… some of which I sort of remember. I’ll probably get the terms wrong.

First of all, we studied what a work is. I reviewed True Grit last night. True Grit, as conceived and written by Charles Portis, is a work. Print it in hardback, print it in paperback, make it an e-book – it’s still the same work. If you adapt it as a movie, that’s a different work, because substantial changes have been made. A comic book version is also a different work (if I remember correctly).

But the hardback, the paperback, and the ebook, though the same work, are all different editions. And when it went out of print, and then got printed again, that became a new edition.

The individual copy you hold in your hand, on the other hand, pretty much identical to all the other copies of the edition, but distinct in its individual quiddity and whatever notes you might have scribbled in the margins, that’s called an instantiation.

My new e-book of West Oversea, similar to but different in detail from Nordskog’s, will be a new edition.

This is all complicated by the question of editorial changes. As I’ve been working through the manuscript, I’ve made small corrections. Mostly in punctuation. Very rarely, I’ll change a minor word. I don’t want to go crazy – I feel I must let the chips lay where they fell, even if I could do a better polishing job now than I did back in 2009. Mostly for the sake of the people who already bought it and think they’ve read the work.

I think that makes my new edition a different iteration of the work.

But it’s the same work.

Unless I remember it wrong.

Hobgoblins of my mind

Avaldsnes Church (my photo). The dark shape toward the left end of the nave is the last remaining standing stone. They call it “The Virgin Mary’s Sewing Needle.”

Tonight’s topic is one I’ve been thinking about ever since I began formatting my novels for paperback. The fact that I’ve forgotten about this topic every evening when the time came to compose a post probably says something about me personally – specifically about my reluctance to admit my mistakes.

Because my mistakes are my topic.

Specifically, my inconsistencies.

In my books.

Emerson (who knew something of suffering, since his parents named him Ralph Waldo) famously said, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” This has given great comfort, over a couple centuries, to many people looking for excuses.

Which brings us to me.

One thing (one of many) that has bedeviled me over the years, as I’ve worked on my Erling Saga, was a sneaking suspicion that I was describing things differently in different books. I have avoided this problem by assiduously refraining from re-reading them. But the process of formatting for paperback has forced me to read each of them, and I’ve discovered that my fears were justified.

Shall I share some of the inconsistencies? Will that depress others as much as it depresses me?

Be strong, and read on if you dare.

The character of King Olaf’s marshal, Bjorn (the sagas do not give us his father’s name; I had to make one  up for him), is described as dark-haired on his first appearance. In King of Rogaland he is suddenly fair-haired and bald.

Closer to my heart are the standing stones at Augvaldsness (Avaldsnes) on Kormt (Karmøy) island. This, as I’ve explained more often than you care to recall, is the location of my great-grandfather’s home church. Only one of those standing stones still stands today, but originally there was an array of five. In one of the Erling books (I think it was The Elder King, but I’m already not sure) I said only two of those stones were standing at the time, and the others were just stumps. But in King of Rogaland, based on a reconstruction of the Viking Age farm from Norway, I put all five up again, adding a lame excuse that Ailill’s memory is vague, and he thinks the magic of the place has affected his perception.

And now I have to live with it.

Well, if Conan Doyle could live with forgetting where Dr. Watson got his wound in Afghanistan, I can probably live with these things. It’ll give future Walker scholars something to debate. Or laugh about.