All posts by Lars Walker

Uncategorized

Bipedal again

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I’m low on inspiration tonight. It’s been a while since I did a book review, but the book I’m working on is taking time. It’s not bad, but not great either, plus it’s quite long. And I’ve been catching up on my magazine reading during my breaks at work, rather than hitting the fiction (my magazine load will be lighter in the future; I’m dropping Smithsonian. They’ve been edging leftward, in my estimation, and the age of the internet has provided me alternate sources of obscure information).

I haven’t mentioned yet that I’m off the cane. The doctor told me to keep the weight off the knee, and take anti-inflammatories, for two weeks, then see how it went without visible means of support. And so far it’s going fine, but I’m watching for sudden structural fatigue. I probably won’t be taking any exercise walks until spring. And it would be a good idea (my doctor hinted, oh so diplomatically) if I took off a few pounds.

I did some research on canes, by the way, and learned that there’s a difference between a cane and a walking stick. Canes are an English thing, because the traditional English cane is made of malacca, which is a strong tropical cane. We Americans make our supports out of wood, so we call them walking sticks.

Actually we call them canes, but apparently we shouldn’t.

My cane is made of metal. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to call that. A walking pipe?

Religion

Taking pains

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The other day, Phil posted about his belief (with which I highly concur) that witches and occultists and various kind of spiritual practitioners have no actual power to curse a Christian (or, probably, anybody else). This is the view I’ve taken (I think pretty consistently) in my fantasy novels—that magic is illusion, and all that is necessary to counter it is a cold bucketful of reality.

In the comments, Greybeard brought up “a very popular little book about an obscure Old Testament character who was noted for the prayer he prayed.” He was referring, of course, to The Prayer of Jabez, by Bruce Wilkinson. I’ve never read that book myself (for reasons I’ll explain), but I have a more positive view of it than some, because the people I knew who did try to put its principles into practice did so with view to submitting to God and seeking to expand their fields of service, not their personal prosperity.

Still, I had a grudge against that book, and still do. Because, from all I’ve heard of it, it fails to address the central, primary meaning of the Jabez story. It’s a story that applies to me in a way it probably doesn’t apply to most people, and it irked me that all these people were co-opting my story for their own purposes. It seemed to me a Nathan’s parable (2 Samuel 12) sort of thing—“You people have lots of Bible stories you can use for your inspiration. There’s only one that applies to my situation. Why can’t you just leave it to me?”

The story of Jabez (1 Chronicles 4:9-10) is not a story about how to procure God’s blessing. It’s a story about an abused child who overcame his trauma by appealing to God. Continue reading Taking pains →

Goofing

I'm not nuts after all!

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Photo credit: Koyaanis Qatsi

On a day like this, fraught with historic significance, one that may alter the course of our republic, it is only meet and right that we should consider a topic of the greatest pith and moment.

I refer, as you must have already guessed, to the topic of nuts in food.

Philip over at the Thinklings has posted an essay that testifies both to his extreme good taste and his courage.

My wife has a theory, and I think she’s right. She says “Nuts are a girl thing.” I think you all put them there because it makes your food “nice”, or more impressive for company. So if you are making food for a gathering, it makes it more special to put nuts in it. Kind of like a bow on a present or getting out the nice china. If it’s for public consumption, you think that nuts make it better.

But you’re wrong. Us guys don’t like it. We just want the sandwich or the cookie. Nuts get in our way. OK, so maybe not everybody’s allergic. And maybe not every guy DESPISES nuts, but they are at least a nuisance. He eats your food in spite of the nuts, not because of them. Ask a guy why he eats your nut bread. It’s because it’s there. Ask him, “If I put out two brownies, one with nuts and one without, which one will you choose?” He’s picking the one without nuts. We deal with enough nuts in our lives: at work, on the road, in Congress. We don’t need ‘em in our dessert.

I cannot tell you with what pleasure I read this delightful, insightful think piece. All my life I’ve been choking down food containing nuts (or just skipping it altogether), and I’ve been secretly ashamed. Obviously everybody else likes nuts. I must be the strange one. Peculiar. Unnatural, perhaps.

But Philip informs me that not only is it normal to dislike nuts, it’s MANLY!

Even if the Republicans don’t take the House tonight, that makes me feel good.

Religion

A broken "hallelujah," part 2

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OK, this is a classic example of why you shouldn’t write about anything before you’ve given it some time to marinate. I wrote about Leonard Cohen’s remarkable song, “Hallelujah,” last week, and now I want to refine what I said (especially the parts that were, you know, wrong).

After listening to some more covers and doing extensive research on Wikipedia, I now think (I’m not sure) I probably made unwarranted assumptions about Cohen’s intentions with the song. I realize now that there are (at least) two different versions of the song—Cohen’s original and the very popular derivatives of Jeff Buckley’s cover, which I’m learning to appreciate:

Continue reading A broken "hallelujah," part 2 →

Religion

Trick or Thesis!

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I know what you’re wondering. You’re wondering, “Lars, what’s the appropriate way for a Christian to celebrate Halloween?”

I am happy to provide the authoritative answer to that question. You should become a Lutheran.

See, wasn’t that easy?

October 31 is Reformation Day, the anniversary of the date in 1517 when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg church (this was not an act of vandalism, by the way. The church door in those days was the regular place to post public notices, like your Facebook Wall).

Below is a short clip from the 1953 movie, Martin Luther. It depicts a dramatic moment in Luther’s story, when he stood before the Diet of Worms (“Diet” means “Council” and Worms is a city. Stifle that giggle) in 1521, and refused to recant his writings. The “Here I stand, I can do no other” line is now thought by scholars to be an addition made by a later writer with a gift for rhetoric, but the dramatic tension is accurate enough. Although he’d been given a safe conduct to the Diet, Luther was well aware of the fate of the proto-Reformer John Hus. Hus had attended the Council of Constance in 1415 under a similar promise of safety. Once he’d been condemned as a heretic, he was arrested and executed anyway, on the grounds that promises to heretics didn’t count. Luther was putting his head in the lion’s mouth, and he knew it.

There is no truth to the rumor that he wore a Batman mask and yelled, “Trick or Treat!”

Today is the last day of the Virtual Book Tour. The first blog listed is Ellis (though they don’t seem to have posted it yet) and the other is The Plot (again).

And that’s that.

Music

A cold and broken "hallelujah"

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Today on the Virtual Book tour there are three stops (at least in theory). I’m interviewed at Broowaha (though they jumped the gun, date-wise). There’s a nice interview at As the Pages Turn, and a very short item at The Plot, where I’m scheduled to show up in more substantial form tomorrow.

Occasionally I blog about music here, on the strength of no expertise whatever. Although I was in a musical group for several years in my tragically well-spent youth, and am reputed to have a pretty nice voice, I never comprehended music theory, and have a lousy ear and very little sense of rhythm.

Nevertheless, sometimes a song hits me, mutates into an earworm, and won’t leave me alone until I blog about it. And so I’m going to meditate on Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah.” I’ve poked around YouTube looking for a cover I really liked, and frankly none I’ve heard has entirely satisfied me. All in all, I’m least disappointed in Rufus Wainright’s version:

Continue reading A cold and broken "hallelujah" →

Uncategorized

Of winds and hobbits

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No Virtual Book Tour stop today. That’s OK. I need a rest from this whirlwind virtual activity.

As many of you are aware (some of you, I’m sure, painfully), last night was a dark and stormy one. If I took any damage here at Blithering Heights, other than the state representative candidate’s campaign sign on my lawn that kept getting flattened, I’m not aware of it.

When I got to work, everything seemed fine there, too, although I soon noticed it was a little chilly. I thought nothing of that, though. The heating in our building is notoriously fickle, different sectors blowing too hot or too cold, for no apparent reason, on random days.

Later, at a staff meeting, I learned that one of the three power sectors on our campus had gone black, and the library was cold because our heat was in that sector. I was surprised at this, as it’s usually the sector that powers our library lights and computers that goes down. But this was remedied later in the afternoon, when we lost power too, for a while.

Phooey. I’ve got no kick coming. People are still waiting for their houses to get the juice back. Some people’s houses are gone.

I failed to mention (because I hadn’t put it together yet), when I did my review of the Masterpiece Theater/Mystery production of Sherlock, that the actor I praised in the role of Watson, Martin Freeman, has been cast as Bilbo Baggins in the upcoming The Hobbit movie.

Seems to me a great pick. He’s a veteran of the great, original British The Office series, so he can do comedy, and Sherlock demonstrates he can do the action stuff. And he certainly fits the established physical pattern of Peter Jackson hobbits.

Have you ever noticed what’s wrong with that pattern, in terms of the original material, by the way? Continue reading Of winds and hobbits →

Authors, Poetry

"Speak the speech, I pray thee, trippingly on the tongue…"

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I fell down in my obligation to link to yesterday’s stop on the Virtual Book Tour. But dry your tears—it’s right here, at Review From Here. (Can’t seem to find a permalink; if you’re reading this after time has passed, you may have to scroll down or search.)

Today’s stop is at The Story Behind the Book.

Joe Carter at The Evangelical Outpost links to a story, and posts a couple video clips, concerning the first American attempt to produce a Shakespeare play in the original accents of Shakespeare’s time. The point of the exercise seems to be, mainly, to demonstrate how much better the poetry rhymed back when it was written. Continue reading "Speak the speech, I pray thee, trippingly on the tongue…" →

Reviews

Television Review: Sherlock: A Study In Pink

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Although we naturally (and quite rightly) think of Sherlock Holmes as a character comfortably ensconced in Victorian London, with its hansom cabs rattling down cobblestone streets, yellow fog, and helmeted bobbies, the idea of updating the character isn’t actually a new one. The early Holmes films were always set in the year of their production, just as we today think nothing of seeing James Bond (whose stories were written in the 1950s and ’60s) using a laptop computer or carrying a cell phone. The first Holmes film actually set in period was The Hound of the Baskervilles, starring Basil Rathbone, released by Twentieth Century Fox in 1939. Then, after one more Victorian film for Fox (The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes), the series moved to Universal and back to the cheaper approach of updating.

I was prepared to dislike the new BBC series Sherlock, broadcast on PBS, but to my surprise I quite liked it. The new Holmes operates as a police consultant in contemporary London. The police are suspicious of him (one accuses him of being a “psychopath,” to which he replies that he’s a high-functioning sociopath). He doesn’t wear a deerstalker or Inverness cape, but those costume elements have tended to be overused (and inappropriately used) in films and TV shows anyway. The modern world doesn’t allow him to smoke, so he relies on multiple nicotine patches when he needs to think out a problem. He does take drugs. The actor who plays him (one who rejoices in the name Benedict Cumberbatch) looks too young for the part, but has the attitude exactly right. Continue reading Television Review: Sherlock: A Study In Pink →

Uncategorized

Never trust anyone under 30

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Today’s Virtual Book Tour stop consists of a review of West Oversea at RBC Library. They don’t like it very much.



Just to update you on my fascinating adventures stumping around with a cane, I went back to the same store today, and the bored-looking young man who checked out my stuff made no offer to bag it for me. So the courtesy I was extended last time appears to have been a function of the niceness of that particular checkout lady.

Tapping my way across the parking lot, it occurred to me that I may qualify for a handicapped parking permit someday. And I thought, what will retailers do when all of us Baby Boomers start falling apart at once? Will they convert half their parking lots to handicapped spots, and if that happens, what will be the use of them?

And how long will the younger generations put up with us? We are a nuisance, after all, and one with an annoying sense of entitlement. Back when I was a teenager, there were paranoid fantasies about wild, sociopathic youth taking over the world and putting all the oldsters in concentration camps. Wouldn’t it be ironic (is ironic the right word? I’ve never entirely mastered its proper use, I’m ashamed to say) if we turned out to be the generation that got sent to a gulag?

Frankly, it would serve us right in a lot of ways.