All posts by Lars Walker

Blogs, Socials

Not undead, just brain dead

37 Comments

Personal note: Blogging from me will probably be light for the rest of the month. My publisher’s publicist has booked me for a “virtual book tour,” in which I’ll do guest blog posts and interviews for what looks like a daunting number of web sites.

My plan is to throw myself into this thing and work the (Charles) Dickens out of it. A virtual book tour would appear to be tailor made for my personality, so if I can’t shine at this I’ll be a man pretty much with nothing to say for himself.

While I’m thinking of it, buy my book.

It’s been in the news lately—The University of Baltimore is offering a credit course on zombies in literature.

Blumberg’s course is not without precedent. Brendan Riley, an English professor at Columbia College in Chicago, introduced a course called “Zombies in Popular Media” in 2006, a few years into the nation’s zombie revival. He believes he was the first to offer an entire course on zombies, a perennial entry on lists of oddest college courses.

“It was kind of a fight to get it as a recognized course at the school,” Riley said. “Because, at first, it appears to be kind of a frivolous topic.”

I suppose if I object to this, I’ll be identifying myself as not only a dinosaur, but a fossilized dinosaur.

But I do object, and I’m pretty sure I’d have objected back when I was in college. Continue reading Not undead, just brain dead →

Authors

Conan of Honolulu

6 Comments

Our friend Kit passed along some news I should have been aware of, and wasn’t. They’re filming a new Conan movie, even as I write. Release is planned for 2011.

The most intriguing fact about the production, it appears to me, is the casting of Jason Momoa (of Stargate Atlantis) as Conan. The implications are notable, since Momoa is a man of mixed race, and Howard’s original conception of his hero was… shall we say, not oriented in that direction.

I’m sure there are some who deny this, but the plain fact, as far as I can see, is that Howard was an unashamed racist. His idea of the Cimmerians, Conan’s tribe, was that they were the pure racial ancestors of the Celts (that’s one reason I never cared much for Arnold in the role. He could have at least worn the black wig they finally stuck on James Earl Jones’ head). Some of his stories involving black tribes include pretty condescending language.

I hasten to add that (in my opinion) pre-World War II racism needs to be judged somewhat differently from the modern kind. Many people in that time considered racism the rational extension of Darwinist science, and a lot of the most respectable people subscribed to race theory. Howard’s belief in the superiority of whites was not remarkable in his day, and very likely had no tinge of personal animosity in it. The Nazis had not yet shown up to show us all, in horribly graphic fashion, where such thinking actually leads.

So this casting involves a basic reinvention of the character from the outset. For all I know, it could work.

Still, I’d like to see somebody do Howard’s Conan someday. Hasn’t happened yet.

Writing

9 strong, 1 weak

7 Comments

The September Writers Digest Magazine is designated the “Big 10” issue, featuring a plethora, an abundance, myriad Top Ten lists by various writers. It features a lot of good stuff.

But one thing irritated me. So naturally I’ll concentrate on that.

One list, on pages 64-65, is called “Brush Up On Your Style in 10 Minutes Or Less.”

In the opening paragraph, the author, Brandon Royal, says, “Everyone can benefit from the occasional reminder of the principles of strong writing….”

Then he lists his list. Good stuff here, like “Use Straightforward Language,” “Trim Long Sentences,” and “Avoid Redundancies.” Meat-and-potatoes advice for punching up your prose. It’s well thought out and useful. Just the sort of thing young writers (especially but not exclusively) need to learn, to produce publishable manuscripts.

Until you get to Tip # 10. Here’s how it starts:

10 Avoid the Masculine Generic. The masculine generic refers to the sole use of the pronoun he or him when referring to situations involving both genders. As much as you can, make an effort to avoid using he when referring to either a he or a she, and using him when referring to either a him or a her….

He goes on to appeal to fairness, and the need to avoid putting off female readers.

Now I can understand promoting gender neutrality in your writing on the basis of making your work more saleable. I can understand it as a justice issue (though I bridle at that characterization). I can understand it as an appeal to self-interest, and the obvious dangers of making half the population mad at you.

But this bit of advice has no place on a list giving tips on strong writing. “He/she” or “him or her” is not stronger writing that “He” or “him.” “Humankind” is not a stronger word than “mankind.” “Chairperson” is not a stronger title than “chairman.”

Everybody knows this. But I’m saying it here.

And that, friends, is the strongest writing of all. When you say what you really think, rather than what you’re expected to say.

Religion

Labor Day counterrevolutionary post

4 Comments

It is Labor Day, and (as every year) I had to go to work. So I shall pour forth my frustration on the Communists, whom I hold ultimately responsible for the holiday, and who have done me no good at all.

Grim at Grim’s Hall embedded this, the original recording of the South African song (“Mbube”) that became “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.”

Continue reading Labor Day counterrevolutionary post →

Writing

Labors of misplaced love

3 Comments


Today’s Word of Wisdom from Walker:

As I look back over my lifetime, I find that I have only two regrets.
The things I’ve done, and the things I haven’t done.
I’m pretty much OK with the rest.

Michael Medved reviewed George Clooney’s new movie, The American, today. He said it’s a beautiful film in which nothing much actually happens.
This reminded me of one of the most surprisingly bad movies I ever saw. My brother and I were in St. Paul one evening a while back with time on our hands, and decided to see a movie. We went to the nearest cinemaplex, and saw it was playing Robert Duvall’s newest film, Assassination Tango. We’re both big admirers of Robert Duvall, so we immediately bought tickets.
It was horrible. Continue reading Labors of misplaced love →

Uncategorized

Second breakfast for Second Harvest

1 Comment


Donna Farley, author of Bearing the Saint, which I reviewed below, forwarded a link to a site called Hobbit Meals, which definitely looks worthy of a mention at Brandywine Books.
From their Mission Statement:

Hobbit Meals is dedicated to feeding the hungry in our local communities by hosting “Hobbit Meals,” in which a group gathers to enjoy a hobbit feast, share hobbit recipes, and enjoy all things Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, as well as bring donated food to supply local food banks. Monetary donations are also encouraged to provide local food banks with overhead costs and additional monies for food.

They seem to have a Christian orientation too. God bless ’em. May the hair on their feet never fall out.

Fiction, Reviews

Heat Wave, by "Richard Castle"

2 Comments

Television and motion picture tie-in books are always a gamble. Sometimes they’re written on the cheap by newcomers (talented or not), and sometimes hard-working pros (like the late, great Stuart M. Kaminsky) make them a delight… or a disappointment.

I’m happy to report that Heat Wave by “Richard Castle” is not only a superior effort among tie-in books, but one of the most enjoyable mysteries I’ve read this year. On top of that, it gave me a subjective reader’s experience I’ve never had before (which I’ll explain further along).

One warning—the paperback version has the smallest print I’ve seen in a novel in years. If you’re over 50, you’ll need your bifocals for this one.

For those unfamiliar with the joke, “Richard Castle” is the hero of an ABC television series, “Castle,” in which he’s portrayed by the charismatic actor Nathan Fillion. Castle is a bestselling author who exerts personal leverage to get permission to follow around a New York detective squad led by Det. Kate Beckett (played by the beautiful Stana Katic). Castle falls in love with Beckett, who is attracted but keeps him at an arm’s length. He makes her the heroine (thinly disguised under the name “Nikki Heat”) of a novel called Heat Wave. That book (we are invited to believe) is the one we are reading here. Continue reading Heat Wave, by "Richard Castle" →

Religion

I dream of genome

11 Comments

Boy Looking at DNA Model

I don’t generally get into the Creationist/Evolutionist controversy. This is not because I don’t have opinions (or beliefs) on the subject, but because I don’t feel I have the necessary knowledge to contribute to the discussion. If I hear an intelligent Creationist, he sounds convincing to me. If I hear an intelligent Theistic Evolutionist, he makes sense to me too. (Atheistic Evolutionists won’t get a very sympathetic hearing from me. Sorry.) I am not a scientist nor the son of a scientist; it’s a fight I’m just not equipped to jump into myself.

But I have some observations about what a critic might call the meta-narrative. I mean the entire historical drama of the conflict between faith and science, which began in the Enlightenment and reached critical mass with Darwin.

It seems to me that, for people who are supposed to have all the answers, the Scientific Naturalists sure fail in their predictions a lot. Continue reading I dream of genome →

Reviews

DVD Review: Terribly Happy

2 Comments

The synopsis on Terribly Happy‘s Amazon page suggests that it’s a black comedy. I know I take a risk in disputing that categorization, but on the other hand I actually understand some of the dialogue behind the subtitles (which are excellently translated, by the by), and I say no, it’s not a comedy. It’s a cross between a western and a noir.

The style of this Danish film is pretty close to a western. It has the look both of traditional westerns and the Italian variety, and the opening is archetypal horse opera (without the horses). The new marshal (Robert Hansen, played by Jakob Cedergren) arrives in town (the subtitle people insist on translating lensman as marshal. It’s more like constable, but I understand their reasons). He is tall and lean and sad-faced, like Will Kane from High Noon. He harbors a secret, a bad thing he did that got him reassigned from Copenhagen to this moribund community in the midst of the flat fields and bogs of southern Jutland. The locals don’t cotton to him from the start. “We have our own ways of handling things,” they tell him. “If we have a problem, it goes out to the Bog.”

But the form of the film is Film Noir. From the very beginning, Robert is faced with a series of dilemmas, choices in how to deal with various infractions of the law, and he almost always takes the line of least resistance in handling them. This leads, seemingly inevitably (but not really; the filmmakers pull a couple fast ones) to increasingly horrific mistakes. Most of these mistakes center on the Buhl family, a living domestic nightmare. Ingerlise Buhl (Lene Maria Christensen) is an attractive, seductive woman who complains frequently of being beaten by her husband (thuggish urban cowboy Jørgen, played by Kim Bodnia), but is never willing to follow through with a formal complaint. Local gossip says that when their little girl Dorthe (Mathilda Maack) walks the streets with her doll carriage, Jørgen is beating Ingerlise—but Robert never actually sees or hears it happen.

And that’s before it starts getting bad.

Some people think that noir film is amoral, but I think the secret of the best noir is that it’s hyper-moral. No sin goes unpunished. What noir films lack is grace. The god of noir is a jealous god (in an ironic touch, a large needlepoint hangs over the door in a crime scene, with the verse, “Gud Er Kjærlighet” [God is Love]).

A particularly interesting element of Terribly Happy is the local pastor, played by Henrik Lykkegaard. It’s not a big part—his longest speech is a homily at a funeral, possibly the worst funeral sermon in human history. What interests me is that the man seems to have no gospel in his inventory. He is part of the local system, a system based on an eye for an eye. Robert’s sins may be covered up and overlooked, but the only salvation left to him in the end is to find as comfortable a personal hell as possible.

Or maybe it is a comedy, and I just didn’t get it.

Interesting movie. Not for kids.

Religion

It happened in Holden

5 Comments

I heard an interesting piece of gossip at my class reunion last Saturday.

I don’t think anyone will be hurt by it. The news was more than a hundred years old.

The reunion took place at the farm of one of my classmates (we lived in a small town, and it was a small class. Smaller now). The town is Kenyon, Minnesota, not a famous place, but once a center of Norwegian-American settlement, made conspicuous once upon a time by the story I shall now relate.

Our host told us, “This farm once belonged to the first doctor in Goodhue County, Dr. Grønvold.” That was interesting.

Later another classmate, who knows I’m interested in history, told me, “You know, there was a big scandal here in the 1800s. That farm over there” (he pointed to a brick house about a thousand feet away) “is the Holden church parsonage. The pastor there was gone a lot, and his wife had an affair with the doctor who lived here.”

“B. J. Muus?” I asked. Yes, he said, that was the pastor’s name.

I’d read about the story, but never gave it close study. Now I’d stumbled across the living oral tradition, on the very spot, and it piqued my interest. So I read up about it. Continue reading It happened in Holden →