There’s truth in these posts. Apply salt as you will.
(via The Art of Manliness)
All posts by Phil
Police Hope to Suppress Shooting Rampages
Here’s your Halloween post of horror with original reporting by me. Police across the nation are gearing up for a bizarre Halloween night this year, anticipating shooting rampaging in many neighborhoods in just about every city. No one is safe.
Blogs, Facebook pages, Twitter threads, overheard conversations, word on the street, telepathy–intelligence of every kind is leading police to conclude that thousands of parents of trick-or-treaters are planning to shoot children, neighbors, passersby, anything at any time. Deputy Mule Culwick of Huckshire Township said some parents even will have high-powered cameras capable of shooting pictures in very dim light.
Citizens are advised to avoid opening their doors tonight, especially when cute munchkins or specters of economic disaster ring the doorbell. Hurling candy at them may not be defense enough. Playing their game is out of the question. You may need to hire a ninja.
One kid: “Hey, I thought I had more candy than this?” (Ninja take from he with too much)
Two kids: “How’d we get so much candy in our bags?” (Ninja give to them with little)
Red kid: “Did we hit all the houses in this neighborhood already?” (Ninja sweep bad kids down street)
Blue kid: “Wow! I’ve got a handful of Smarties, and no one’s even opened their door to me yet!” (Ninja give candy without dangerous interaction from host. Also, Smarties official candy of Brandywine Books. Nerds also official.)
95 Theses and a Symposium
Jared nails a few points for discussion to the door of the Thinklings chapel in Franklin, Tennessee. Here are some:
10. The aim of devotion to Scripture is our transformation, not merely our information.
11. The American Christian and the churches that train him are adherents to the syncretism of biblical values and the self-idolatry of consumer culture.
12. This syncretism is suffocating the discipleship culture of our churches, which are mostly predicated on therapeutic gospels and self-help which make do not glorify God and which make the disciple the center of Christian faith rather than Christ.
13. The American Christian is often offended by or secretive about the message of the gospel, which puts him dangerously in league with those who find the message foolish and are perishing.
14. The Christian in the American Christian ought to affirm and embrace the cost of discipleship, but the American in the American Christian hesitates to deny himself because Self is his highest value.
15. The modern disciple is currently being spiritually deformed by leaders in the Church who do not make that which is “of first importance” the most important thing.
16. The modern disciple compartmentalizes his life and does not realize that even a large compartment for “faith” or “church” or “God” is not healthy discipleship. The American Christian’s schedule and routines reflect he believes his days belong to himself and not to God.
17. The American Christian finds Jesus’ command to sacrifice and serve abhorrent.
Note also the Reformation Day symposium at Challies.com for many, many good theological notes, and I’ll keep you posted on Jared’s upcoming Diet of Worms.
You Can Vote However You Like
Watch this group a sharp looking kids in Atlanta sing: “Obama’s on the left. McCain’s on the right. We can talk politics all night, and you can vote however you like.” I should look up the lyrics; I can’t understand most of them.
How Can You Protect Your Yard Signs?
A man in Chapel Hill, N.C., had a bit of trouble keeping his McCain-Palin signs in his highly visible yard, so he electrified them and put a camera up to watch them. He set the shock low so no one would get hurt and posted little warning signs. A bit later: “A neighbor trotting up with an Obama-Biden sign, grabbing a handful of volts as he touched a McCain-Palin sign, then fleeing at top 9-year-old boy speed.” The boy’s father was upset, saying the boy just wanted to see how the signs were put together. Perhaps the kid carried an Obama sign sleeve with him all the time as a safety blanket.
Do 50% of Marriage Really End in Divorce?
Here’s a podcast with interesting research into the popular claim that half of all marriage end in divorce. Where did that figure come from and is it accurate? As you will hear, the research isn’t quite there.
Steadfast
I cast around for a Lutheran hymn for tonight, a good hymn in the Lutheran tradition not written by Martin Luther, and I came back around to one of his again. Maybe it’s predestination. Happy Reformation Day and Happy Halloween.
Lord, keep us steadfast in your word;
curb those who by deceit or sword
would wrest the kingdom from your Son
and bring to naught all he has done.
Lord Jesus Christ, your power make known,
for you are Lord of lords alone;
defend your holy church, that we
may sing your praise triumphantly.
O Comforter of priceless worth,
send peace and unity on earth;
support us in our final strife
and lead us out of death to life.
Remarkable Garden
Take a look at Ella’s beautiful work on her garden, an illustrated poem.
A.M.Smith Novel Online in Twenty Weeks
Alexander McCall Smith is delivering a novel through The Telegraph Online, day by day in twenty weeks. Corduroy Mansions is on chapter 33 today, and you can read it at The Telegraph site or get them in your email or rss feed. It begins “in the bathroom.”
Passing off, thought William. Spanish sparkling wine – filthy stuff, he thought, filthy – passed itself off as champagne. Japanese whisky – Glen Yakomoto! – was served as Scotch. Inferior hard cheese – from Mafia-run factories in Catania – was sold to the unsuspecting as Parmesan. Lots of things were passed off in one way or another, and now, as he stood before the bathroom mirror, he wondered if he could be passed off too.
If God had not been on our side
A hymn by Martin Luther, perhaps inspired by Psalm 124.
If God had not been on our side
And had not come to aid us,
The foes with all their power and pride
Would surely have dismayed us;
For we, His flock, would have to fear
The threat of men both far and near
Who rise in might against us.
Their furious wrath, did God permit,
Would surely have consumed us
And as a deep and yawning pit
With life and limb entombed us.
Like men o’er whom dark waters roll
Their wrath would have engulfed our soul
And, like a flood, o’erwhelmed us.
Blest be the Lord, who foiled their threat
That they could not devour us;
Our souls, like birds, escaped their net,
They could not overpower us.
The snare is boken–we are free!
Our help is ever, Lord, in Thee,
Who madest earth and heaven.