All posts by Lars Walker

My proposed itinerary

I have a full calendar this weekend. Or rather, full by my standards. Quite leisurely compared with the calendars of those of you who are caring for invalid parents or raising two-year-olds. But if God had meant me to have old parents or young children, he wouldn’t have made me me.

In which case somebody else would be taking care of them anyway.

Tomorrow I ride up to Fargo, North Dakota, to St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, where I shall speak to the Georg Sverdrup Society on “Problems in Translating Georg Sverdrup.” I’m sure they could find room for you as a guest, if you find PowerPoint presentations on 19th-Century Norwegian syntax compelling.

And on Sunday I’ll be with the Viking Age Club at the Bloomington Town Hall Museum in Bloomington, MN. We’ll have an outdoor camp. The forecast high temperature is 40°, with high winds.

Vikings wore down-filled parkas, didn’t they? Sure they did.

Playing the game

There are questions about the story of that McCain volunteer who says she was robbed, then beaten up and then had a letter B “carved” into her face. As others have noted, it doesn’t smell right. I could be wrong, but I don’t like it.

Talk show hosts made much yesterday of graffitti painted on the homes of Sen. Coleman and Congresswoman Bachmann here in Minnesota. Some of these stories failed to notice that some Democrats’ houses were also targeted, notably that of my very liberal congressman, Keith Ellison.

When you’re a Republican, winning shouldn’t be everything.

Any pine in the Glade?

I think I’d have to work pretty hard to think of a less significant question than the one I pose below, but it nags at me. I’ve been meaning to blog about it for some time.

How come there isn’t any pine-scented room deodorizer anymore?

Oh, I know you can buy it during Christmas season. This is especially for people like me who have artificial trees (I’m a middle-aged bachelor, for pete’s sake—it’s not like I’m denying my heirs a Precious Memory). It allows us to pretend that we have a real tree desiccating in our living spaces, as long as we keep the lights pretty low and our eyes squinty. Which we middle-aged bachelors do quite a lot anyway, because we’re still trying to master that Charles Bronson thing that somebody said worked so well with the chicks in the ’70s.

Even longer ago than that, when I was but a wee keebler, pine was about the only kind of room deodorizer you could get. It came in a narrow glass bottle. You unscrewed the steel cap and pulled it outward, and a thick terrycloth wick that was attached to it came out of the bottle. You pulled it as far as you liked, depending on whether you wanted “a vague whiff of Douglas Fir from a distant mountain” or “bathing in a vat of Pine-Sol,” and evaporation did the rest. The bottle generally lasted about three days, I think, no matter how much wick you exposed. But it was a pine smell, and it pleased me. Continue reading Any pine in the Glade? →

If you’ve got a minute, I’ll show you my surgery scar too!

Got a flu shot tonight. The first of my life.

Flu shots are another of those items that I’ve always categorized as “for old people.” I’ve always figured I’m tough enough to survive the flu.

But I got the flu last winter, and my reasoning changed to, “Yeah, I could survive the flu, but I, uh… would have a problem working it into my busy schedule.”

On the plus side, from all I’ve read over the decades, the flu vaccine seems to only be correctly targeted about once every three years.

More news below, for those of you who never get enough of listening to middle-aged men describing their ills… Continue reading If you’ve got a minute, I’ll show you my surgery scar too! →

Orson Scott Card on the mortgage crisis

Novelist Orson Scott Card, “a Democrat and a newspaper columnist” dares to mention the emperor’s distinct lack of clothing in a Mormon publication today:

This housing crisis didn’t come out of nowhere. It was not a vague emanation of the evil Bush administration.

It was a direct result of the political decision, back in the late 1990s, to loosen the rules of lending so that home loans would be more accessible to poor people. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were authorized to approve risky loans.

Orson, I’d upgrade my home security if I were you.

(Hat tip: Blue Crab Boulevard)

Dark of the Moon, by John Sandford

I’ve been a fan of John Sandford’s for a few years now. He writes a gripping, fast-moving story, with interesting characters and lots of verisimilitude. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s a Minnesotan (he’s really the journalist John Camp) and sets most of his stories in our (his and my) state. (I have this odd delusion that places aren’t really important until there are stories about them. The places I enjoy visiting, or want to visit, are generally places where stories I like took place.)

But I’d gotten a little disillusioned with Sandford’s recent work. Lucas Davenport, hero of the Prey series, started out as a fascinating madman, a borderline psychopath cop (who also happened to be a video game millionaire) so passionate about hunting down serial killers that he often crossed the line into “judge, jury and executioner” territory.

The problem was, it was clear Davenport couldn’t go on like that indefinitely. If he kept doing his police work in that manner, eventually he’d either get caught or lose his mind entirely. So Sandford, discovering he had a hit series on his hands, took the rational course of finding Davenport a good woman, getting him married, and settling him down.

The downside of that was that Davenport got a little dull. Sandford appears to have compensated for that by making the crimes more appalling; adding an increased level of horror to his stories. It works to an extent, but I don’t like the series as much as I used to.

So I’m happy to report that Dark of the Moon, starring the spin-off character Virgil Flowers, is much less edgy. Its main appeal comes from fully realized characters and an intriguing mystery. Continue reading Dark of the Moon, by John Sandford →

“Things I haven’t got the nerve to say myself” Dept.

The Internet Monk has a great rant on Halloween here.

My position is, basically, I agree with him. But I fear we’ve gotten to a place where it doesn’t matter anymore. The holiday has been coopted by the occultists–largely because we allowed it to be.

Hat tip: The Thinklings.

Never mind, then

Here’s a thought that won’t be of any help at all.

Due to my remarkable decrepitude, I can remember all the way back to the 1950s (it occurred to me recently that, since I was born in 1950, and 1950 was technically part of the decade of the 1940s, I was actually born in the ’40s. That’s cool. It explains that whole Bogart vibe I give off) and I remember when the culture war was very different.

When I was a kid, there was essentially only one pressure group trying to keep people from smoking. That was evangelical Christians. We considered smoking a sin, second only to the mortal sin of drinking. Or maybe dancing.

If you weren’t around back then, you can judge what I say by looking at old movies. Everybody smoked back then. Mothers smoked while feeding their babies. Waitresses smoked while serving meals. Business offices were as smoky as Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh was as smoky as Vesuvius on a bad day. Considering how dangerous they tell second hand smoke is nowadays, it must be a sign of God’s favor that any Boomers are still alive at all. Continue reading Never mind, then →

Hoist up the John B.’s sail

I’m going to be speaking up in Fargo, North Dakota next Saturday. I’ll be giving a PowerPoint presentation to the annual meeting of the Georg Sverdrup Society. G. Sverdrup was a prominent Norwegian Lutheran educator around the turn of the 20th Century. He was the chief intellectual of the Lutheran Free Church movement, a (pretty small) movement to merge Lutheran theology with congregational church government.

Only a small portion of his writings have been translated into English, and a major purpose of our little society is to translate his collected works. I’m editor of the journal, and I’ve been asked to do a talk on the subject, “Problems in Translating Georg Sverdrup.”

I like to use a lot of pictures in my PowerPoints, and here’s one I’m using to illustrate a point I won’t bore you with just now:

John B. Continue reading Hoist up the John B.’s sail →

In which I demonstrate that I have no compassion at all

Congratulations to the New York couple who were blessed with identical triplets on Tuesday.

I link to their story because of a conversation I had in Minot. A fellow came through our encampment and spoke to a couple of our Viking Camp kids who were (or appeared to be) twins. He said, “Twins are nothing. I’m a triplet!”

Then (because the kids ignored him. That’s what kids do) he told me that being a triplet is extremely special. Twins are common, he explained. Quadruplets, quintuplets and sextuplets are all over the place today, because of fertility drugs.

But “Triplets,” he said, “are rare. I may be the first triplet you’ve ever met.”

I couldn’t contradict him.



In my Bible reading today,
I was struck by the following scripture passages: Continue reading In which I demonstrate that I have no compassion at all →