Category Archives: Fiction

“I do not drink… wine”

Patrick Archbold at Creative Minority Report meditates on vampires and zombies, and the differences between traditional monsters and modern ones.

Come to think of it, even the original zombies show signs of the secularization of our culture. Vampires sought to drink blood, what was then regarded as the life force. Zombies want to eat brains. I think that science and secularization is changing what is craved – in more spiritual times monsters craved blood for its life force – now they crave brains as animals crave meat. As a result they are less scary and more pathetic. Lions and tigers and bears are scary because they can eat you, but they can’t destroy your soul. Secular monsters are boring. I mean vampires aren’t even afraid of holy water and crucifixes anymore. They are clingy and misunderstood. If I want clingy and misunderstood, I will watch a Woody Allen movie. Come to think of it, Woody Allen is scarier than these vampires.

(Tip: View from the Foothills)

I’ve talked about the legend of the vampire before here. The traditional vampire (before the novelists got hold of him) was a miserable, vicious creature, barely sentient, dressed in rags, stinking of corruption, driven by hunger. He resembled a zombie a lot more than Bela Lugosi or Tom Cruise.

The novels and movies changed that. Vampires acquired style and status, the charm of the Exotic Foreigner. With time, they’ve become so cool they’re not even scary anymore (see “Twilight”). So it was necessary to import zombies to do the work vampires wouldn’t do.

But the difference as (Archbold notes) is also spiritual. Both traditional and fictional vampires had an essentially spiritual disorder. Sure, they craved a physical substance–blood–but that was a perversion of the Christian eucharist, like a Black Mass. That’s why crucifixes scared them. Modern vampires (I think Ann Rice who, ironically, is now a Catholic, pioneered this) laugh at crucifixes. Once you reach that level of materialization of the monstrous, the distinction between vampire and zombie is reduced to food preferences and fashion choices.

Today’s monsters are not damned souls, but merely consistent materialists. Scary, yes, but not very exotic.

Modern man looks for the most frightening thing he can imagine, and it turns out to be himself.

Review from “Darwin’s Evolutions”

I don’t think I ever linked to Darwin Garrison’s review of West Oversea, over at Darwin’s Evolutions. Thanks for the great notice, Darwin, and I apologize for forgetting to link to it before!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson

I picked up The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, not because I was eager to read it, but because I’d run out of reading material one weekend and didn’t want to make a run to the bookstore, and it was there in the grocery store rack. I expected to hate it, as the result of an elementary chain of reasoning—it was written by a Swede. Swedes, generally, are Socialists and atheists. Therefore, anything written by a Swede is likely to offend me. When I saw that it was a mystery involving a family of industrialists, that conclusion seemed self-evident.

I stated in the Comments on Andrew Klavan’s review (he didn’t like it a lot) that I had a bet with myself that the most conservative, religious character in the book would prove to be the murderer.

I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that I was wrong. I feel morally obligated to post that for the record. Continue reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson

Reason for Reading Dan Brown?

Adam Gopnik says maybe the reason so many want to read Dan Brown’s books is their niceness. Ancient conspiracies, secrets which must be kept in the dark, crazies with bad skin, and safe plots with modern conclusions. Gopnik writes:

Much of it is bogus, to be sure—though modern Masonry borrowed some oogah-boogah from the Egyptian past, it was an Enlightenment club, whose greatest product was “The Magic Flute,” and which was about as sinister, and secretly controlled about as many governments, as the Royal Order of Raccoons in “The Honeymooners.” But Brown is having fun. And the book is full of activities; there’s more to do with a pencil and safety scissors than in any Highlights for Children.

Happy Birthday to H.G.Wells

Today in 1866, H.G. Wells, who said, “I must confess that my imagination refuses to see any sort of submarine doing anything but suffocating its crew and floundering at sea,” who said, “Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race,” was born. Wells had little imagination for submarines and also for hell. He said, “Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.” I suppose he was returning his eyewitness report from hell when we said that. Otherwise, how could he know?

For his birthday, here’s a collection of book covers for War of the Worlds.

“Perelandra turned my life upside down”

Jeanne Damoff writes about Lewis’ gift for telling the truth in fiction:

Lewis does a great job of portraying the woman as intelligent but entirely pure. She entertains the Un-man’s ideas because she’s never had a reason not to listen to anything being said to her. Though Ransom tries to counter all the lies, the woman has no reason to trust one of them over the other. She’s never encountered debate, never required discernment. But occasionally the Un-man pushes too far. When he invites her to “make a story” about living on the Fixed Island–to imagine herself doing the forbidden thing–she says, “If I try to make a story about living on the Fixed Island, I do not know how to make it about Maleldil. For if I make it that He has changed His command, that will not do. And if I make it that we are living there against His command, that is like making the sky all black and the water so that we cannot drink it and the air so that we cannot breathe it. But also, I do not see what is the pleasure of trying to make these things.”

She follows up this post with another called “The post I do not want to write.”

Oh, I do like this

By way of Patrick O’Hannigan’s The Paragraph Farmer, the funniest thing I encountered all day (and I heard a recording of Jimmy Carter calling opponents of government health care racists!).

Slate.com presents: The Interactive Dan Brown Sequel Generator!

Just plug in the city of your choice, and the sinister organization of your choice, and build your own blockbuster! Save money! Impress your friends! Write a bestseller of your own!

Black Widow, by Randy Wayne Wright

I’ve been making the mistake recently of occasionally looking at reader reviews on Amazon when I set up the links for my blog reviews. Because of one of these lamentable lapses, I see tonight that reviews of Randy Wayne White’s Black Widow are decidedly mixed—and widely polarized. Some readers loved it. Others thought it signaled the demise of the “Doc Ford” series.

List me with the people who loved it. Approaching it as a pure escapist novel, I thought it was one of the best I’ve read recently.

I was particularly impressed with the opening. It’s a platitude (and becoming a cliché) that authors (thriller authors especially) need to grab the reader at the very beginning and keep things so tense that they can’t lose him.

In a single day and night in the first few chapters of Black Widow, Doc Ford (marine biologist and occasional government black ops agent) flies to Aruba to make a blackmail payoff on behalf of his goddaughter, Shay Money, who was guilty of certain excesses on a pre-wedding Caribbean holiday with three of her friends. Shay is engaged to an extremely wealthy and influential young man, and can’t afford a scandal. Then, instead of going to bed, he takes his boat, along with his hippie friend Tomlinson, to rescue a woman whose transmission they pick up on a short wave radio, who claims that she and her family are being attacked by sharks. This ends up involving an encounter (in the water) with hammerhead sharks. Then, again before he can get to bed, he’s attacked by a man with a gun in his own house. After handling this guy, Doc gets a call telling him that Shay has been in an auto accident, and one of her friends has attempted suicide. Then, after a hospital visit, he goes to bed with a different friend of hers.

And the next day he’s scheduled for a performance evaluation session with his government employers.

That got my attention.

The blackmailers come back for more of course, and Doc makes a trip to a very exclusive Caribbean island retreat, where a voodoo cult operates a health spa and resort which is actually a blackmail factory. He teams up with a too-good-to-be-true retired English secret agent. He gets drugged, gets beat up and imprisoned, and then kicks serious butt.

It was a lot of fun. Plenty of sex, but not explicit. Not up to the Klavan or Hunter standard, but perfect summer beach reading, in my opinion. It’s still warm down in the Bahamas, even in September.

Was Holly Golightly Employed?

I did wonder a little about where the star of Truman Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s got her money, but I slipped passed me that she might be something close to a prostitute. I suppose I don’t have the frame of reference to make that insight independently. (I also don’t like to assume the worst of people.) [via Book Trib]

“Save the Dragons”

David Freer is a Baen Books author, and a very nice guy with whom I’ve chatted once or twice online.

He’s in the process of arranging to move from South Africa to Australia. He wants to take his numerous pets with him. That means time in quarantine, which is expensive.

So he came up with this website. He’s telling a story here, a chapter a week, but the chapters (after Chapter 1) come only when he gets $400 in his Paypal jar for each one. Four subsequent chapters have been paid for to date.

If and when the book gets published, subscribers who have given over $25.00 will receive a signed copy.

Read a good comic fantasy. Help an author.

Tip: Ori Pomerantz.