I learned a meme today from Prof. Brendan Riley called troll quotes. He explains it requires “1. a well-known quote with 2. a false attribution from an equally well known person and 3. the wrong picture.” Here’s his favorite example, which I love too, but I had to contribute to the lore myself.

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A great line from the movie Network.

Library of Congress

Washington had to shut down for a few minutes today, and the stock market soared. Coincidence?

Actually, that wasn’t an earthquake. That was the economy settling.

(Cue rimshot.)

In case you’re a visitor to Brandywine Books, I need to make it clear that two political posts in one day is a great rarity here. One political post in a day is a rarity. Phil and I generally eschew political comments (we don’t even have a Politics category), in favor of the far less controversial subject of religion.

But I’ve been worried the last few days. First President Obama (peace be upon him) visits Cannon Falls, Minnesota, just up the road from Kenyon, my home town. The next day he’s in Decorah, where I spent a year at Luther College sometime around the Coolidge administration. It began to look as if he were stalking me. Perhaps he finally figured out that my tin foil hat prevents him from controlling my mind with his delta rays, and he’s trying to follow my trail instead. About thirty years in my rear view mirror, but that’s civil service work for you.

However, I remember that one of my high school classmates actually graduated from Luther College. So it’s probably him the president is stalking.

Whew. That was close.

If I understand the news reports correctly, a lot of people are saying Michele Bachmann isn’t qualified to be president, because she opens her mouth to eat a corn dog.

I have to assume that sophisticated, civilized people who attended Ivy League schools have some superior method of eating their corn dogs. If anybody knows what it is, I’d appreciate hearing about it, because I always end up dripping ketchup on my shirt.

But Rep. Bachmann’s campaign is over anyway, it seems to me. She confused the anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death with his birthday.

You can get away with a lot in American politics, but I’m pretty sure messing up your Elvis essentials takes you beyond the pale.

The nice thing about being beyond the pale, though, is that you can eat your corn dog any bloody way you like.

And now for something completely different: an potentially epic t-shirt.

DATELINE HOLLYWOOD: A spokesperson for the Me Too Channel announced today the addition of an exciting new reality to show to their fall lineup.

The program is to be entitled, “Reality Show Reality Show,” and will feature four teams of contestants who will be transported around the nation by livestock truck, following a route determined by a GPS device set on “Random.” The object of the competition will be to find some area of life that has not yet been covered in a reality show. Participants will have points deducted from their scores for any sign of taste, modesty, or empathy for others. Weekly losers will be forced to remain on the program.

In related news, attorneys in Los Angeles announced a class action suit on behalf of every person in America who has not yet been a reality show contestant. “We are suing because it’s obvious to the meanest intelligence that absolutely no talent, brains, or skill of any kind is necessary to be a reality show contestant,” said chief litigator E. Cleveland Weckmeyer. “Therefore all Americans, however feckless, ignorant, or maladroit have the same right to be on such a program as the people who’ve already made money off such appearances. Let me add that if anything ought to be a basic right in a great country like America, it’s reality. Our plaintiffs have been denied their right to reality, and we intend to redress that wrong. Additionally, they’ll get a full dose of reality once they see our legal fees.”

Why haven’t we finished our novel? (An infographic from The Onion) Blogging about writing is not on this list, probably because it’s too realistic to be funny.