Today the temperature didn’t claw its way up much past zero (about 17 Celsius, for our European readers), but according to the best authorities it will be warmer tomorrow, and may get up around freezing by the weekend. Oh, how sweet that sounds—“up around freezing.” Where did I put my sunscreen?

I’ve had an unaccustomed streak of feeling unusually good for the past week or so, but tonight I’m depleted. It probably has something to do with my renter waking me up at 5:00 a.m. to jump-start his car, but I also feel as if I’m coming down with another cold. So I’m galvanizing my stomach with zinc tablets, as Phil has counseled me.

I found myself, while driving home tonight, behind a car with a bumper sticker that said, “Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights.”

I don’t think it was an act of unreasonable stereotyping for me to assume that anybody with a bumper sticker like that is very likely homosexual.

Then the car turned off into a bowling alley.

What’s wrong with this picture? I thought.

Perhaps I was observing the first emanations of a harbinger. Perhaps the creative minds that determine what’s fashionable and what’s not in our culture have decided, at long last, to embrace the noble and ancient sport of bowling.

Think of it—bowling, the new feng shui.

Bowling shirts will suddenly be trés chic, seen on all the A List celebrities, and on sale in trendy shops at exorbitant prices.

Bowling shoes will come in exciting new colors.

Bowling alley snack bars will start selling brie and espresso and white wine.

The movie “Kingpin” will be adapted into a Broadway musical.

“Bowling For Dollars” will be revived on network television in prime time.

Go now and invest in Brunswick stock. And remember, you read it here first.