In honor of April Fools’ Day, I offer the following excerpt from P. G. Wodehouse (who did fools better than anyone). It’s from the story “Jeeves Exerts the Old Cerebellum” in the collection, The Inimitable Jeeves, and was chosen purely at random out of the rich treasure trove that is Wodehouse:

I don’t know if you know that sort of feeling you get on these days round about the end of April and the beginning of May, when the sky’s a light blue, with cotton-wool clouds, and there’s a bit of a breeze blowing from the west? Kind of uplifted feeling. Romantic, if you know what I mean…. So that it was a bit of an anti-climax when I merely ran into young Bingo Little, looking perfectly foul in a crimson satin tie decorated with horseshoes.

‘Hallo, Bertie,’ said Bingo.

‘My God, man!’ I gargled. ‘The cravat! The gent’s neckwear! Why? For what reason?’

“Oh, the tie?’ He blushed. ‘I—er—I was given it.’

He seemed embarrassed, so I dropped the subject. We toddled along a bit, and sat down on a couple of chairs by the Serpentine.

‘Jeeves tells me you want to talk to me about something,’ I said.

‘Eh?’ said Bingo, with a start. ‘Oh yes, yes. Yes.’

I waited for him to unleash the topic of the day, but he didn’t seem to want to get going. Conversation languished. He stared straight ahead of him in a glassy sort of manner.

‘I say, Bertie,’ he said, after a pause of about an hour and a quarter.

‘Hallo!’

‘Do you like the name Mabel?’

‘No.’

‘No?’

‘No.’

‘You don’t think there’s a kind of music in the word, like the wind rustling gently through the tree-tops?’

‘No.’

He seemed disappointed for a moment; then cheered up.

‘Of course, you wouldn’t. You always were a fat-headed worm without any soul, weren’t you?’

‘Just as you say. Who is she? Tell me all.’

Tags: P.G. Wodehouse, humor, Bertie Wooster, April Fools Day, literary, Jeeves