Once again, the eyes of the nation are fixed on Minnesota. Something strange, almost unprecedented, is going on here.
It’s cold out.
The rest of you know nothing of such things, so I thought I’d bring you up to date.
Tonight, as I was checking out at the grocery store, a guy at the end of the conveyer asked me, “Paper or plastic?”
In Minnesota (oddly, I can’t recall how it was in Florida) our major grocery chains all (by which I mean “both”) have “self-service” bagging. This was supposed to save us money back in my youth when it was introduced, but now it’s The Way Things Are Done, and anybody who suggests change is just a troublemaker. So I was confused to have somebody offer to bag my groceries for me. I told him plastic.
“Are you going to want a tip?” I asked, in my best Scrooge voice (and face), as he packed the sacks.
“No,” he said.
“Do you represent some organization?”
He gave the name of the youth group of a Lutheran church I wasn’t familiar with. By an odd coincidence, though, there was a table with a tip jar near the exit, and I felt obligated to drop a buck in as I left. (Which I could have technically avoided, since these people are supposed to ask first. “Would you like me to bag your groceries?” Not, “Paper or plastic?”)
I bet he’s a salesman. I bet he does well at it.
I bet he has no friends.
Anyway, I figure that, statistically, the church I gave the buck to is probably part of The Very Large Lutheran Body That Shall Remain Nameless.
So my money probably went to send the kids to a Transgender Sensitivity Camp or a Jihad Understanding Conference.
Humbug.
Even though my grocery supplies baggers, I don’t let most of them near the groceries. Why? They put red leaf lettuce underneath cans of cat food and haven’t realized that eggs break.
They don’t let me tip and I can see why.
Malcolm
Do you think that ELCA pastors can afford to pay for their expensive sex changes on the pittance they pull down?
Just kidding, I personally do not know of any ELCA pastor that has undegone that type of transformation.
I do know this much… most of the bishops wouldn’t need to undergo such radical surgery, for they do not have any _____s anyway.
I belong to an ELCA church.(I know of which I speak)
I guess the baggers in my local stores are trained better.
He gave the name of the youth group of a Lutheran church I wasn’t familiar with. By an odd coincidence, though, there was a table with a tip jar near the exit, and I felt obligated to drop a buck in as I left.
Steve: I think there’s a church-wide program in TVLCBTSRN to provide sex-change operations to all the male pastors, to further the Salvation by Feminisation project.
Swipe their change jar next time.
Lars,
Thanks for the info. I did check that out and you are correct. There creedo at TVLCBTSRN is ‘no pastor left undone’.
Oh come on! The money probably went toward buying copies of the new hymnal; or to cover photocopying costs incurred by the praise band’s music director in preparation for the Christmas service.
So my money probably went to send the kids to a Transgender Sensitivity Camp or a Jihad Understanding Conference.
What’s wrong with understanding Jihadis? How do you expect to interrogate them, English? I for one applaud the efforts of private organizations to further our population’s knowledge of Arabic and the relevant psychology and sociology.
Oh wait, you didn’t mean that kind of understanding. You meant pretending to understand Jihadis while missing the whole point. Sorry, I should read more carefully in the future 😉