Cold and snow (actually snow and cold, reading left to right) returned today. But although the temperature never topped 25°, most of the snow disappeared anyway. Go Sun!

Yesterday was a weird day. I missed not one but two appointments—my mind was obviously poorly seated in its housing. And my post on foods I don’t like—which was, frankly, a desperation post, composed because I couldn’t think of a good idea—garnered a fair number of comments and got linked both by Hunter Baker and the Thinklings.

Which shows that you just never know. And you may quote me on that.

So, on the principle that if something works you should beat it to death, I shall follow up with a post on Things I Don’t Like At All, But That Are Extremely Popular.

1. Sports. I don’t wonder why other people like sports. I have one semi-sport (live steel) that I enjoy myself, so I can comprehend the fact that other people find sports engaging and life-enhancing. I just can’t share the experience. Sports, for me, have always been merely a way to exhibit my inferiority in a good, strong, public light.

2. The out-of-doors. Nature. Oh, I’m not against nature. I have no desire (in spite of the fact that I’m a known Republican) to pave the planet and slingshot the last remaining forest into space with Bruce Dern (Dern alone would be plenty). I just don’t understand why people enjoy time outside, when they could as easily be indoors. The discomforts involved in being outside vary with the season of the year, but there’s always something. If it’s not freezing your digits off and crystallizing your lungs, it’s giving you a sunburn appetizer, in preparation for a skin cancer main course. Plus everything either itches or bites. And there’s no place comfortable to sit down.

3. Shorts. I will not wear shorts unless I’m swimming or jogging, and I haven’t done either in years. During eleven years in Florida I was never converted to the false gospel of shorts. I don’t like the way it feels to have the wind stirring my leg hair. Heck, I didn’t even like it when I was a kid, before I had leg hair.

(And no, I do not have skinny legs. My legs are in fact one of my few well-constructed physical components.)

4. Reality television. From what I gather from fans, these programs are unpleasant, frustrating for the viewers, and set up with arbitrary and sadistic rules.

Kind of like my childhood. I ain’t goin’ there.

5. Horror films. Life is already full of monsters. I should pay to see more?



6. Rock ’n Roll. I just don’t get it. Never did. My suspicion is that Rockers care about the Beat, while I care about Melody. Rock appears to be about letting go; letting the rhythm take you; entering some kind of altered mental state. Losing control is the last thing I want to do. I want music that will relax and soothe me, music that will lay a gentle hand on my brow and say, “There, there.” I miss the Easy Listening format on radio. Give me the 101 Strings, even if they’re playing the Beatles.



7. Parties. My idea of Hell is being in a room full of people I’m expected to make myself congenial with. Unless, of course, I’m speaking to that room full of people for a fee.

On a related note:



8. Alcohol. I started out as a teetotaler because I was taught that drinking was a sin. I no longer believe that (unless the drinking is immoderate), but I keep away from the stuff simply because I don’t want to do anything that’s likely to cause me to lose control (see No. 6 above). For me, life is about monitoring myself 24/7 to avoid making all mistakes. I have no wish to wake up in a strange bed, wondering why I have a tattoo of Renee Zellwegger on my butt.



9. Renee Zellwegger. I saw her in Chicago, and acquired a whole new appreciation for Catherine Zeta Jones. And I say this knowing that she’s half Norwegian (Sami). There are, after all, many Norwegians I don’t like—Vidkun Quisling, former Prime Minister Gro Haarlem Brundtland, Walter Mondale.



10. Praise music in church. But you know about that.