Dateline Hollywood: Controversial filmmaker Oliver Stone announced today his plans to direct a remake of the classic film musical, “Singin’ in the Rain.”
“Whenever there are tough economic times,” said Stone, “Americans long for uplifting, positive entertainment. I think the time is right for a re-examination of the story of early Hollywood, as imagined in this classic film.
“Of course we’ll approach the project with a modern sensibility. We won’t turn a blind eye to the systematic racism, sexism, homophobia and xenophobia that have made America a hell on earth from the very beginning. But we’ll do it in a laughing, lighthearted way.”
Early buzz reports that George Clooney is considering the Gene Kelly role, while Madonna has agreed to take over for Debbie Reynolds, and Sean Penn will fill the dancing shoes of Donald O’Connor.
(Note: all of the above is a gag.)
Hollywood is weird enough that it’s almost believable. Did you hear that Jerry Bruckheimer is redoing Fantasia? Or, more accurately, the most famous section of it? No joke.
Well, I know that when I think of animation, Bruckheimer is the first name that comes to mind.
Well, it made me gag.
I like it. Of course, we won’t turn a blind eye to all the rot-gut in this city. That’s why I keep making movies. Because I hate what I see out there everyday, except on The View where the girls can get real with each other.
Actually, I think it’s going to be live-action.
I can’t wait for that movie. I bet it will be “real” and “gritty” and “honest” and will deconstruct all the dominant and oppressive paradigms which fill everything about disgusting US culture.
Also, hopefully it will include a southern Christian who is an evil scumbag. Original. Edgy.
You can’t scare me like that!