King of the north?

Oh, joy. My cold is creeping back up on me, just when I thought I was beginning to get better. What I actually think is happening is that I’m getting rolling colds–my weakened resistance picks up a new one whenever the last one’s begun to weaken. Think of a wave pattern, like a sleep cycle.

I spent this afternoon learning CPR and AED (Automatic Electrical Defibrillator). They’re installing AEDs at work, and want as many employees as possible to know how to use the things.

I actually think I’m more likely to need the device than to help anyone with it, but I took the training. Oddly disquieting. If you don’t know how to help someone, you have a sort of built-in, guilty justification for doing nothing. If you do know how, there’s a moral obligation to help. Helping is great if you’re sure you’ll succeed and everyone will look up to you as a hero. It’s not so great if you do your best and fail. It’s not great at all if you make a mistake and actually do harm.

My default mode has always been passivity. “Nothing ventured, nothing lost” is my motto.

But that’s profoundly un-Christian. I’m convinced that that’s a large part of what Jesus meant by the business of taking up your cross and following Him. You do right, you do what He would do, and accept the possibility you’ll fail or be misunderstood (He was certainly misunderstood). “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in Hell.” (Matthew 10:28, NIV)

I have no natural leaning toward heroic living.

Speaking of people with no leaning toward the heroic, this article from France says that Mel Gibson plans to film a Viking movie next year (hurrah!). He plans to star Leonardo DiCaprio in it (wha…?).

That slapping sound you hear is me palming my face repeatedly.

8 thoughts on “King of the north?”

  1. So, Lars, you know what you gotta do… Sign on as the film’s authenticity expert. You can show them how the chain mail was made and you can slap old Leonardo up-side the head when he tries to look cool in his horned helmet…….. etc…etc… AND now that you’ve had the training… you can be the official defibrillator specialist on location. You could also volunteer some of your Norwegian relative’s farms for location shooting…

    I can see it now… Lars in Hollywood…star of stage, screen and tube… and some of us can say…. “I knew him when he was just a little re-creationist back in Minn….”

    Come on now!! Get over that cold and get on the ball…. fame and fortune await you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. Do not worry about the defibrillator. As you were probably told in the class it will not let you give a shock if the victim does not need it.

  3. Heidi, that’s true. I’m more concerned about the thousand things that can go wrong with CPR.

    John: If Gibson had wanted my participation, he could have optioned my book in the first place. I’d have let it go at a very reasonable price, by Hollywood standards.

  4. Lars,

    Regarding the cold: Get thee to a health food store and pick up some eucalyptus oil. At bedtime, put 5 or 6 drops on a handkerchief and tuck it into the neck of your shirt, or safety pin it there. It eases sinus congestion greatly, and even has antiviral effects.

    Regarding Gibson’s planned Viking film: Please, no horned helmets.

  5. We have a team of First Responders at my company–we train several times a year, including scenario based simulations.

    The big thing about CPR is that even pros cannot sustain the effort necessary for really effective CPR for more than a minute or two–so we train as a group to switch off compressions after two or three cycles and give people rest. Shared responsibility makes the whole thing easier; we never have less than 3 people on an emergency call, and for our last heart attack we had 12…

    If you are ever needed, I think you’ll do fine, or better than fine.

    But some situations nobody can salvage…and that should be part of the training too.

  6. Lars,

    You had the chance! All you had to do was hook up the defibrillator to your nose … look ma, no more cold! Those pesky viruses would be toast.

    (Just don’t expect to still have a mustache when you’re done!)

    -Robert

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