Vincent “Vino” Malone fuels his blog with a love for Olive Garden pasta. It’s called “All Of Garden – One Man’s Quest to Eat All the Pasta.” He appears to have ended this quest, having eaten all the pasta he can stomach. I could be wrong.

Olive Garden Corporate has not rolled out any lasagna for the man who may be their biggest fan. Instead they’ve sent him a cease-and-desist letter, demanding he remove their name from his site.

And Vino replied.

>>to: brandenforcements@mm-darden.com
>>date: Wed, Jul 19, 2017 at 8:47 AM

>>Mr. Forcements — may I call you Branden? Since this is an asynchronous mode of communication, I’m going to assume you are magnanimously acquiescing, and I will refer to you as Branden forthwith — I received your email yesterday.<<

Someone deep within the garlic-filled halled of OG Corp. says this D&C letter was sent by a bot and no one with actual free will intends to follow up with legal action. Presumably they also will not reply to Vino in limerick form, as he requested.