Whatever You Do, Don’t Kiss Her!

Officials in the Guangdong province of China are warning the overly affectionate to kiss with care, if they must kiss at all. An unfortunate incident, in which a woman had hearing loss following a kiss, “prompted a series of articles in the local media warning of the dangers of excessive kissing. ‘While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution,’ wrote the China Daily.”

But can we ever be sure that a kiss is safe? Maybe we should tax kissing to help pay for the health care costs it may incure.

(I shouldn’t do two posts like this one day, but perhaps you’ll understand.)

The Story Behind ‘The Blob’

This potato weighs over 7lbs.Anyone with a “serious” understanding of the world knew the old sci-fi horror movie, “The Blob,” could have been based on true accounts from the so-called real world, even if the writers/directors/producers denied it. Now we have a heinous story of a potato farmer who simply thought his growing spud was more affectionate than other potatoes. Little did he know, the tater had a taste for him!

Wendell Berry on Being a Poet

Again in the vein of writer’s block, Jason Gray posts a poem by Wendell Berry called How to Be a Poet.

Make a place to sit down.

Sit down. Be quiet.

You must depend upon

affection, reading, knowledge,

skill—more of each

than you have—inspiration,

work, growing older, patience,

for patience joins time

to eternity. Any readers

who like your poems,

doubt their judgment. . . . read on

Chronicle of a wasted weekend

Our chances of a White Christmas look pretty good. We’ve got a substantial blanket now, and more is expected overnight. It’s always possible that it could still melt off before Christmas, but the balance of power has tipped.

I may very likely have to shovel snow in the morning.

It was a frustrating weekend. I’d planned to do some Christmas shopping, but Mrs. Hermanson failed me. (I mentioned this problem a few days ago, but it got worse.) The Chevy Tracker has an ignition system that requires the operator to depress the clutch while turning the key. Lately I’d been having trouble with it. It had been taking several minutes of repeated attempts to finally get her to turn over (my leg’s still stiff from bearing down on the clutch). The thing was, I’d had this sort of problem before, especially in cold weather, so I didn’t figure it was serious. But Saturday I found myself stranded in a shopping center parking lot. So I called AAA, and they towed me to a shop where (thank the Lord) a loaner was available. They didn’t get to my car until today.

Not surprisingly, it turned out not to be the simple thing the mechanics predicted, but something about twice as expensive. Add in some other prudent maintenance steps they suggested, most of which I had to admit were necessary, and I dropped three Cs today.

Ah well. That’s why God gave us credit cards.

Take on Your Own Brain!

Mr. Bertrand writes: “January is National Brain Surgery Month, or Na-BS-Mo for short. Each year, people across the country get out their hacksaws and X-Acto knives and perform daringly complex between-the-ears procedures. You may not realize it, but each of us has at least one brain operation inside us. The trick is to let it out!”

Insightful.

Andrée Seu on Writing

How to write an essay: You’re drifting off and a thought pops in; and it sounds like a lead sentence so you jot it on the pad you keep under the bed. You look for sleep, but it tugs at your ear, till you finally give in and brainstorm the idea for all it’s worth — the gems and the junk alike. Come daylight, you mentally solve syntactical problems — while folding laundry, molding meatballs, conversing with your neighbor.

Then you sit in front of a white page, terrified. . . .

Isn’t that the way? Andrée has a new book, We Shall Have Spring Again.

Bury That Nose in 2008s

Stefan Beck writes, “If you’re the type who likes to slink away from the holiday table with a tumbler of eggnog, hide in the attic among the Hummels and Good Housekeeping back issues, and bury your nose in a book, this list is a good place to start.” He is speaking of the NY Times Book Review list of 2008 books, asks where on the list Marilynne Robinson’s book is, and recommends Joseph O’Neill’s Netherland.

Eggnog

In a journal on his three months in the States, printed in 1867, Henry Latham wrote about celebrating Christmas in the Baltimore countryside:

Christmas festivities had begun ; every ten minutes or oftener a gun or a squib was fired off, giving one the idea that the war had not ended yet at Ellicott’s Mills. Christmas is not properly observed unless you brew “egg-nog” for all comers; everybody calls upon everybody else; and each call is celebrated by a solemn egg-nogging. Egg-nog is made in this wise: our egg-nog was made so, and was decided after a good deal of nogging around, to be the brew in Ellicott’s Mills: “Beat up the yolks of twelve eggs with powdered sugar, then beat up with them a pint of brandy, a quart of cream, and a quart of milk; lastly beat up the whites of your twelve eggs, and add them as a head and crown to your syllabub.” It is made cold, and is drunk cold, and is to be commended. We had brought a store of sugar-plums, as the children all expect presents at this time. They hang up their stockings on Christmas Eve, and in the morning find them filled with goodies. At New York this is done by Criskindle (Christ kinde) and at Baltimore by Santa Claus (San Nicolas).

I always enjoyed eggnog this time of year, but of course, I never make my own, and I doubt it could be called “nogging” even if I drank a whole quart myself. I prefer to buy the Southern Comfort brand. The flavor and thickness of this brand appeals to me most. Mayfield, which I believe is a great diary brand primarily in my region, has good flavor but it’s too thin. Borden tastes bad, and I don’t remember the others we rejected. Hood has some flavored eggnogs in my area, and they taste good, just not as good as Southern Comfort (which is non-alcoholic if you need to ask–do they sell alcoholic eggnog in grocery stores?).

I haven’t tasted the benefits of mixing my nog with brandy, though I’ve done that a few times. I see that George Washington had his own recipe which used rye whiskey, rum and sherry–a stout drink of the stout-hearted. I couldn’t handle it.

Do you like eggnog? Do you prefer one brand over another, or do you have a homemade recipe?

Book Reviews, Creative Culture