Ha! We don’t call this cold in Spitzbergen!

You want to talk about cold? It clawed its way up to 1° F. today. That was even colder than yesterday, when I had trouble starting my car after it had sat for about three hours in bright sunlight while I was in church.

And yes, I did go all France on the Viking Age Society on Saturday. I hope the guys are still alive.

I even lowered my sartorial standards today. Instead of a hat I wore a stocking cap, along with my faithful Air Force surplus arctic snorkel parka (the undisputed finest winter coat ever designed, imho). Instead of a coat and tie I wore a sweater and tie (a Norwegian sweater, of course). The sweater has a nice collar with a zipper. It converts into a turtleneck, and I made use of that option.

Man alive, it’s cold.

The air sucks the moisture right out of your skin, freeze-dries it, jets it into the stratosphere, and blows it to Greenland, where it falls to earth with a gentle tinkle.

And yet the days are getting longer. The sun shone cheerfully as I drove home from work.

They try to make us believe that this isn’t suspicious—this counterintuitive annual pattern where the sun shines more but the air gets colder anyway.

I know the truth. Haliburton conspired with the oil companies and the international bankers to artificially import cheap Canadian air, in order to raise oil and natural gas prices, swelling their obscene profits.

You can’t pull the wool over my eyes.

Actually, you can.

In fact I’d be grateful. Wool is nice and warm.

Ha! We don't call this cold in Spitzbergen!

You want to talk about cold? It clawed its way up to 1° F. today. That was even colder than yesterday, when I had trouble starting my car after it had sat for about three hours in bright sunlight while I was in church.

And yes, I did go all France on the Viking Age Society on Saturday. I hope the guys are still alive.

I even lowered my sartorial standards today. Instead of a hat I wore a stocking cap, along with my faithful Air Force surplus arctic snorkel parka (the undisputed finest winter coat ever designed, imho). Instead of a coat and tie I wore a sweater and tie (a Norwegian sweater, of course). The sweater has a nice collar with a zipper. It converts into a turtleneck, and I made use of that option.

Man alive, it’s cold.

The air sucks the moisture right out of your skin, freeze-dries it, jets it into the stratosphere, and blows it to Greenland, where it falls to earth with a gentle tinkle.

And yet the days are getting longer. The sun shone cheerfully as I drove home from work.

They try to make us believe that this isn’t suspicious—this counterintuitive annual pattern where the sun shines more but the air gets colder anyway.

I know the truth. Haliburton conspired with the oil companies and the international bankers to artificially import cheap Canadian air, in order to raise oil and natural gas prices, swelling their obscene profits.

You can’t pull the wool over my eyes.

Actually, you can.

In fact I’d be grateful. Wool is nice and warm.

Worldwide Group Writing Project

“Crowdsourcing” may be a good word for it, but it’s probably a bad idea. Penguin has launched a novel writing project in the style of Wikipedia, allowing anyone–anyone–to contribute and edit the novel.

“Day by day, night by night, fantasies and tales emerge. Collaboration is about to unveil and sparkle, witness the amazing power of a WikiNovel.”

Did the guys who came up with this idea ever spend time with writing stories as a group? It can be fun, but it can’t be serious unless everyone in the group is committed to serious writing. A million writers the world over won’t be serious. “Big Bababoobey Ooby flexed his pinky . . . “? Give it up.

In this post on their blog, the administrators describe their difficulties with vandalism.

Philadelphia Has Gone Crazy

Philadelphia has gone crazy, and city officials are considering padding the sidewalks. They say it’s an environmentally friendly idea, but I know it’s really because the people in that city are wacko. I mean, Frank Wilson lives there, and he’s questioning global warming. Insanity! Right now it’s 32F outside and it was about 20F this morning–proof!! the world is warming up.

Coffee Taste Testing

(I’m blogging too much tonight, but nevermind that. Please read this.) What do you think of Consumer Reports? Great source for unbiased product testing? Uneven results in some things? I like the CR goals, but I don’t view them as a bible on products like I used to–a strong recommendation for everyone, but their choice may not be the best for me.

Now CR has turned it’s trained reporters on the common man’s cup of joe, and the result? The Boston Herald reports:

McDonald’s latest caffeinated endeavor, Newman’s Own Organics Blend coffee, is better than both Dunkin’ Donuts and Starbucks, says Consumer Reports magazine.

“We compared the rivals with Starbucks, all in basic black – no flavors, milk or sugar – and you know what? McDonald’s beat the rest,” the magazine said in its March issue.

The CR tasters visited only two stores in each company for the report, which may be too small a sample for a subjective survey like this. Bloomberg.com reports the tasters comments:

McDonald’s coffee was “decent and moderately strong,” while Starbucks was “strong, but burnt and bitter enough to make your eyes water.” . . . Dunkin’ Donuts brew was “weak, watery, and pricier than Starbucks. It was inoffensive, but it had no oomph.” Burger King, meanwhile, served a beverage that “looked like coffee but tasted more like hot water.”

I’ve had some pretty bitter coffee at Starbucks, which I assumed came from an overbrewed pot, not the company beans. Generally, Starbucks is good, but I don’t care to buy my coffee there. They irritate me.

Have you tried McDonald’s coffee in the past year? Was it better than you expected? If I ever buy coffee there, I expect to get the dark hot water variety. Maybe I should try it. I have drunk Chick-fil-a’s dark roast several times over the last several months. If MacDonald’s was just as good, I’d be impressed. (by way of The Boars Head Tavern)

Molly Ivins, 1944-2007

Molly Ivins has gone where no mortal returns at age 62. E.J. Dionne Jr. recalls what she said about cancer, that it “can kill you, but it doesn’t make you a better person.”

(by way of Reasoned Audacity)

Andrew Klavan in World Magazine

Your Writers Group points out an interview with one of Lars’ favorite authors, Andrew Klavan, in World Magazine (subscription req.).

He quotes Klavan saying, “I’m a novelist, remember, not a preacher. I trust reality to express Christ’s presence, because I think that’s what it actually does.”

In introducing the interview, Marvin Olasky writes, “It shouldn’t be an unusual combination, because an understanding of man’s sinfulness, along with a glimpse of God’s holiness, often makes us realize our desperate need for Christ. And yet Christian fiction has a reputation for being too nice to take on vice.”

Clive Cussler Sues Over Sahara Movie

Adventure Author Clive Cussler is arguing in court that the script to “Sahara,” based on his novel, was so bad it has hurt his career. His lawyers claim that Crusader Entertainment altered the screenplay without his consent, essentially ruining his main character and the story. Crusader Entertainment is countersuing, claiming Cussler exaggerated his sales to win the film contract.

I can understand suing over alterations without consent, if that’s a contractual agreement, but making a lousy movie based on my book? That’s Hollywood–get over it. And Crusader’s claim may have merit, but on the surface, it looks like whining to me.

Untold Story: Lutherans Against Hitler

God’s Upside Down Kingdom points out a new book on the history of Lutherans in Nazi Germany. “Readers … will discover the stories of courageous church leaders who prevented the Nazis from absorbing Lutheran Churches into the Reich Church.”

Book Reviews, Creative Culture