Tag Archives: My Life As a Dixie Darling

‘My Life As a Dixie Darling,’ by Mark Goldblatt

When it comes to living our lives, I’m sure that the vast majority of us are making it up as we go along. “Lunatics, lovers, and poets.” …of the people I’ve known, they are the only ones who are certain about what they’re doing. But with all due respect to Shakespeare, I wouldn’t trust any of them to babysit my kid.

Occasionally I refer to the late D. Keith Mano, a somewhat tragic author who tried to write fiction about sex from a Christian perspective. I think he deserves a better posterity than he’s enjoyed so far, but I’m also not sure he ever really hit his target. I heard a critic say once that almost every great filmmaker tries to do a movie about sex at some point, to infallibly fail miserably. My friend Mark Goldblatt has written a novel about softcore porn in My Life As a Dixie Darling, and I think it mostly works.

The year is 2007. Doreen Martinelli is a very pretty wife and mother living in Shreveport, Louisiana. She’s married to Bobby, a fairly feckless man-boy who works on and off as a car salesman. They’re just getting by financially, and Doreen worries about how they’ll eventually pay for their young daughter Arielle’s college education.

Then Bobby has a brainstorm. There’s a porn site called “Dixie Darlings.” It runs on (I assume; I have no personal experience here) the same general principles as OnlyFans – a woman posts her pictures and film clips, and subscribers pay to see her nude in the member’s section.

Doreen is, of course, shocked and offended. At first. But Bobby is persistent. She isn’t a prude, is she? She’s a beautiful woman. He’s not jealous. And they could make enough money to send Arielle to Harvard, potentially.

That’s what gets to Doreen. She’d be doing it for Arielle. Who would it hurt?

Little does she know. She adopts the name “Dee-Dee” and posts some photos. The response is astonishing. Before long she’s the second-most popular Darling, and rising fast. But that means competition with the Alpha Darling. Plus the constant risk of the neighbors finding out. And Arielle getting teased at school. And Bobby becoming a seduction target for other women.

…As well as a weird flirtation with the boss’s son, an intelligent, well-educated dwarf.

The overall theme in My Life As a Dixie Darling seems to be materialism – the American tendency to justify any moral compromise – even when it leads us to neglect our children – so long as we can tell ourselves it’s for the children’s sakes. I also appreciated the unexpected complexity of the characters. This is one of those stories where there are no real villains, though many of the characters certainly do wrong.

I wasn’t entirely sure about the ending. I guess it should be seen as a peculiarly American kind of tragedy, but in a light-hearted way.

Recommended. Cautions (surprise!) for adult situations.