All posts by Lars Walker

When I’m a celebrity, I won’t forget the little people, however contemptible they may be

What a day it’s been in blogdom!

First, the immortal Hunter Baker (author of the soon-to-be-released The End of Secularism), plugs West Oversea over at Mere Comments.

Then “Mike” at Threedonia (one of the best blogs in the world for sheer fun) posted about Hunter Baker’s post.

If we can just keep this momentum going, I’ll soon be hobnobbing with Jonah Goldberg and refusing to return Ann Coulter’s calls.

(Just a joke, Ann. Call me anytime.)

The June Smithsonian includes a light piece entitled “Words to Remember,” by Miles Corwin, about Amanda McKittrick Ros, generally considered the worst novelist in history.

If I didn’t recall, from C. S. Lewis’ Collected Letters, that he and the other Inklings used to wile away the evenings reading passages from Ros’s novels, to see how long they could last before breaking up in laughter, I’d be tempted to suspect her whole story was a hoax.

What price prose like this:

“Speak! Irene! Wife! Woman! Do not sit in silence and allow the blood that now boils in my veins to ooze through cavities of unrestrained passion and trickle down to drench me with its crimson hue!”

Sure, it’s bad. But is it really worse than Dan Brown?

I’m working on my new linen Viking tunic. Cut it out last night. Tonight I think I’ll tackle the neck hole, always one of the trickiest parts of a tunic.

There’s nothing intrinsically unmasculine about sewing (he insisted, his face nevertheless revealing his profound shame and ambivalence). A sewing project is essentially an engineering job. There’s lots of measuring and fitting stuff together, with (one hopes) the solid satisfaction of a well-constructed product at the end of the process.

I think the problem is that clothes just don’t matter as much to guys as they do to women.

Reenactors are different, though. We compare our trousseaus like debutantes.

In a manly, virile way, of course.

The Cure, by Athol Dickson

A while back I made an attempt to write a novel in which one main character was someone who (like me) suffered from Avoidant Personality Disorder.

I wrestled with that book for months before finally giving up on it. I realized at last that the character was so timid and passive that even I—who was him, more or less—didn’t care what happened to him.

That was kind of my problem with The Cure, too. I’m not saying it’s a bad book. I recommend it, especially as compared to most Christian Booksellers Association fare. But I had trouble, especially with the main character.

The Cure concerns the town of Dublin, Maine. Homeless people have been collecting in Dublin in unusual numbers, because of a rumor that’s gotten around that somebody—no one is sure who—in Dublin has a cure for alcoholism. The town’s economy is bad, and an influx of non-productive visitors is the last thing it needs.

Among these homeless is Riley Keep, who grew up in Dublin. Once he was a pastor here. Once he taught at a nearby college. From here he went to Brazil as a missionary.

But a tragedy in Brazil (explained to us gradually, in flashbacks) broke his heart and most of his faith. He became an alcoholic, abandoned his wife and daughter, and went on the road. He’s only come back now because he has a friend who won’t last much longer without the Cure.

Riley’s ex-wife is mayor of Dublin now. But nobody recognizes him at first.

Then one day he wakes up in an alley, his hunger for alcohol completely vanished. In his pocket he finds a small packet of powder, along with a note explaining its use, and a chemical formula.

He gives the powder to some others, and they are immediately healed. Then everybody finds out about it, and the others want the Cure too, and Riley is attacked by a mob. That’s only the beginning of the trouble, as the army of the homeless becomes a genuine civil threat, and powerful people who want the Cure start pressuring Riley and everyone he cares about.

It’s a good idea for a story, but (in my opinion) the execution here could have been better. Riley Keep is essentially a passive guy, and he deals with all crises by taking the line of least resistance. This provides an excellent moral object lesson, but makes a story that might have been very gripping, just irritating in places. A better protagonist, I think, would have been the mayor, Riley’s ex-wife, who has some spirit. It would have called for some re-plotting, but I think it would have made for a more compelling narrative.

Another flaw is that what is supposed to be a big revelation toward the end was telegraphed miles off, because the author falls into a much-overused character stereotype.

Dickson is Dickson, and he’s not capable of producing a really bad book.

But I wanted to like The Cure more than I did.

Our weapons are not of this world

As I understand it, we’re still waiting for a final word on the motives of the man who murdered Dr. George Tiller, the noted late-term abortionist. But indications seem to be that the killer was motivated by his anti-abortion (I won’t say pro-life) beliefs.

I’m appalled by this wicked, perverse and un-Christian act. The perpetrator, if and when convicted, should be punished to the full extent of the law.

I don’t know what else there is to say.

Phantom Prey, by John Sandford

The infiniteenth installment in John Sandford’s “Prey” series finds Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension officer Lucas Davenport butting heads with his superiors over security preparations for the Republican National Convention (which pretty well fixes the story in real history). Davenport keeps telling them that they need to take terror threats seriously, while all his superiors seem to be able to reply is, “Bush is an [expletive deleted].”

This is about as profound an observation on Minnesota politics as I’ve ever read, and I give Sandford full marks for it.

But that’s not what the main plot of Phantom Prey is about. The main plot concerns Alyssa Austin, a wealthy recent widow, whose daughter, Frances, has recently disappeared. The police don’t seem to be giving the case a high priority, so Davenport’s wife Weather, a friend of Alyssa’s, asks him to look into it.

Very quickly Lucas gets shot in the leg by a man accompanied by a mysterious, unidentified, beautiful woman. And people who knew Frances, largely members of the “Goth” community, start showing up murdered, often after being seen with that same woman.

About half-way through, we discover who the murderer is, and then tension rises through watching Davenport try to put the pieces together in time to stop a killer who’s gone completely out of control.

I liked this book better than some of the recent entries in the series, which have dwelt unnecessarily (I thought) on kinky and sadistic sex practices. There was plenty of sex and depravity (and bad language) in this book, but they were kept more offstage. Also one scene took place in Cherry Grove Township, near Wanamingo. This should have been “near Kenyon” (my home town), because Cherry Grove Township is generally considered a Kenyon township rather than a Wanamingo one, but I always enjoy a reference to my childhood stomping grounds under any circumstances.

Also it was a great relief that the New Age religious adherent in the book was not portrayed as wise and possibly in touch with vast, glorious spiritual resources. The New Ager in this book is just plain wrong, and there’s a (faint) suggestion that Christianity might be a whole lot better choice.

So I liked Phantom Prey. A solid, page-turning entry in the series. Recommended for adults.

Real-world consequences of “gay” marriage

From Dennis Ingolfsland of The Recliner Commentaries:

Five university law professors and the legal council for the American Jewish Conference have sent a letter to a New York Assemblyman warning of the potential consequences of a New York same-sex marriage bill. Below is a summary of the likely consequences:

Read the rest here.

My modest contribution to the cause of World Peace

(No need to thank me. Your awed silence is thanks enough.)



Imagine
there’s no freedom

It’s easy if you try

No place to hide from

Big Brother’s searching eye

Imagine all the people

Living just one way…

Imagine there’s no nations

It isn’t hard to do

Nothing to love or stand for

No constitutions too

Imagine all the people

Rocking the boat no more…

You may say I’m a dreamer

I suppose that I might be

I hope some day you’ll join us

And the whole world will think like me

Imagine confiscation

Of private property

We’d all be poor together

Except, of course, for me

Imagine all the people

Doing things my way…

You may say I hate freedom

That I’m against democracy

But it will all be so peaceful

When no one has the right to disagree

It’s all food to me

Loren Eaton, at I Saw Lightning Fall, has a great piece today on the importance of reading widely. I concur. I don’t actually do it much, mind you, but I concur.

Speaking of what we wordsmiths like to call omnivorosity, I ate haggis for the first time in my life this past weekend, down in Elk Horn.

Sort of.

If you saw the pictures I posted last night, you may have noticed that there were wedge-shaped tents at the left side of the picture, and circular, pavilion-type tents on the right side.

The tents on the left were proper Viking tents, patterned after specimens found by archaeologists in ship burials.

The pavilions to the right were anachronistic, later medieval things which didn’t properly belong in a Viking camp. They belonged to Renaissance Faire people, whom good Viking reenactors generally look upon with disdain.

But we didn’t disdain these RF people, because they were our source of food.

Cook tent

Continue reading It’s all food to me →

Tivoli Report 2009

“So, how was Tivoli Fest in Elk Horn, Iowa,” you ask?

OK. Good. Awful. Hard to say.

I rolled into Elk Horn on Friday afternoon, having taken a vacation day. An extensive Viking camp had been pitched in the camp area, across the street from the Danish Windmill and Viking House.

Tivoli encampment

Continue reading Tivoli Report 2009 →

Incoherence on the eve of departure

This will be completely incoherent, but I’ll go ahead and empty my brain into the word processor, and call it a post. I won’t be doing one tomorrow. I’m on my way to Elk Horn, Iowa for Tivoli Fest. Reports and photos will be forthcoming once I’m back. If I get back, of course. You never know with us old guys, especially when we play with swords.

So I’ve got to pack for the trip, as soon as my washing is done. I’ve also got to celebrate my weekly bill-paying ceremony. And load Mrs. Hermanson. And write a list of eight suggested questions for TV and radio interviewers, for my publisher’s publicist. Continue reading Incoherence on the eve of departure →