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The Nowak test

Photo credit: Frederick Wallace. Unsplash license.

One of the many personal characteristics that make me such a bore is that I get almost no pleasure whatever from a job well done. Today I crossed two items off my “to do” list, things I’d been working up to for about a week. In intervals. When I wasn’t coughing or having a lie-down to recoup my strength. (I’m getting better, thanks to antibiotics, but it’s a process.)

And not a morsel of satisfaction does my frontal cortex vouchsafe me. I’ve heard of people being gratified by a job well done, but I’ve almost never had the experience.

Enough about that.

Like most of us, I’ve been thinking about the murder of Henry Nowak in Southampton, England recently. Everybody has a lesson to draw from it. Here’s mine:

Lots of us have wondered, over the years, how we would have stood up – morally – in Nazi Germany. Would we have defied the Nazis? Kept our heads down and our mouths shut? Knuckled under and collaborated?

I think we can be sure of one thing.

If you’re okay with a system that treats race as a moral category, you would not have defied the Nazis. If you think you can judge a person by the color of their skin, and that the authorities should too, you would not have defied the Nazis.

Now the fact that you (or I) can’t accept such a system doesn’t prove that you (or I) would actually be a Bonhoeffer. Things get real quite fast when your life’s on the actual line.

But if you can’t even agree that justice ought to be colorblind, you’re on the Field Gray side of things.

Blowing the Elk Horn

Outside the Viking House in Elk Horn
Panning right, more of the camp

When you drive through the Story City, Iowa exit on Highway I-35 (I have been informed by a distant cousin) you are driving across what was once my great-grandfather’s farm, back around the turn of the 20th Century. I’ve been through that intersection many times before, but I hadn’t known that fact. So I had that to ponder as I drove through on my way home from Tivoli Fest in Elk Horn, Iowa last Sunday (Google Maps took me by a different route going south, for reasons beyond my ken).

Just another satisfaction in a highly satisfactory weekend.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted for the last few days. I was out of town starting Thursday, of course. I could have posted yesterday, but I came home very tired, and seem to be suffering another of my bouts of respiratory infection now. I’ll probably be running on low power until I see the doctor next Monday, but I’ve dragged myself to my desk to do my duty now, before I forget everything.

The event covered Friday, Saturday, and parts of Sunday, though I left Sunday morning. Friday was pretty quiet, but I got my tent and book tables set up, in the grassy area near the Viking house, instead of in the field across the road as in the old days. I did catch one high-roller who bought three books, and may God bless him. He confessed, in low tones, that he was a Norwegian in a Danish town and he welcomed the moral support.

Normann, our locksmith, talking medieval tech with a fellow Viking

I stayed with a dear family of Christian friends in a nearby town, with whom I had enjoyed one of those long, wide-ranging conversations late into the night, the last time I was down there, 15 years ago. We picked the conversation up, more or less, where we left off.

Saturday had good crowds, and I stayed pretty busy. Sold out my whole stock of Viking Legacy, and did a fair trade in my own novels. Credit card purchases were complicated by the fact that Elk Horn is in a sort of satellite black hole, and cell phone signals come and go. But I lucked out and it always worked for me. Greeted a few familiar Vikings, grown a little older now. Ate festival food (but in relatively modest quantities. My habits seem to have changed for the better). I didn’t get to see the fireworks, though, as I went back to spend more quality time with my hosts.

Scott, the comb maker and fabric merchant. Also featured in this image, my left index finger.

I splurged on one addition to my Viking kit, made and sold by  Scott, the fellow pictured above. It’s this Viking traveler’s comb, based on a larger original found in a grave:

When you pull out the little pin, the comb comes out of its case, thus:

Isn’t that cool? Nice craftsmanship, too.

Tivoli Fest in view

A moment in the Viking camp at Tivoli Fest, years ago. Several of these people are no longer alive.

Dropped a book I was reading today. Yet again. I’m old, and have only so much time left; why should I waste any of it on novels that insult me?

This book (which I got in a free offer) was passably written (though the author had a tendency to misplace modifiers). I was giving it a fair chance. I thought it was moving a little slowly, and the characters were somewhat hard to keep straight, but that’s probably because I’m old.

Then the two detectives (one white male, one black female) interview a young male slacker whose ex-girlfriend has disappeared. The b.f. detective thinks he’s a suspect. The w.m. detective says maybe she could give him a break; he just got bad news about his ex. The w.m. retorts that he’s just a typical white male; no responsibility.

And the w.m. male apologizes.

Apologizes.

I didn’t care for the slacker character myself, but his sin wasn’t that he was a white male. Is that the new acceptable stereotype – white males are all shiftless? Seriously?

Into the bin with that one.

I had a scary moment with my car too. Went to the grocery store, and as I left the parking lot I heard a dull rattling sound from the rear end. Feared the worst.

Then I thought, that sounds a little like wood bumping on plastic. It could be my wooden apple crate, in which I keep my linen table cover and various informational signs and promotional items for my book sales. I’d just loaded it in the back of the cargo area.

So after I got home I offloaded the crate and tried driving around some more. No noise. Great was my relief.

Because I’m going out of town this weekend. A long Viking trip – not as long as the Minot drive used to be, but a good 5 hours, probably closer to 6 when you figure in lunch and comfort stops.

The event is the Tivoli Fest in Elk Horn, Iowa. If you’re in the neighborhood of southwest Iowa, you might check it out.

Elk Horn is a tiny town, only 600 or so residents. But it boasts two museums of Danish heritage – the Museum of Danish America and the Danish Windmill Museum.

It’s been many, many years since my group has gone to Tivoli, due to circumstances best left to history. Enough to say at this point that our invitation to participate has been renewed, and we’re happy to be going. It was always a great event. I recall especially the Saturday night fireworks, which apparently are still on the program. Elk Horn punches way above its weight when it comes to fireworks. I’ve seen far less impressive displays in far bigger communities.

And, of course, I will have books to sell. Looking forward to it. Pray for me, if you think of it, that my car will hold up and my sales may prosper greatly. Like a great… Dane.

‘Uncle Fred Flits By’

A few days ago I mentioned the immortal story, “Uncle Fred Flits By,” by P.G. Wodehouse. Our friend David Llewellyn Dodds, in the comments, brought up the 4 Star English television production starring David Niven. I said I’d posted it here once — but was too lazy to check to see if that post was still up. David took the trouble to check and found that the post was indeed here, but the link to the video was dead (as is so often the case with classic material on YouTube). He said, however, that another version has now been posted.

So there it is, above. It has been, I am sad to say, colorized — though if cinematic graffiti artists must paint over things, I suppose it’s better that they deface comedies than dramas.

The production is successful, all in all, though I have quibbles. It would be hard to imagine a better choice for Uncle Fred than David Niven. The guy they cast as Pongo, though, is wrong to a high degree. Pongo is a young man of the Bertie Wooster type, good-looking, well-dressed, a clubman handicapped only by tight finances.

A few small changes to the story, whose purposes elude me, have been made. Still, it’s pretty good, and better than most anything you’ll see on Netflix these days.

‘A Foggy Day in London Town’

Tonight, not a hymn, but “A Foggy Day in London Town,” a show tune loosely connected to the sainted P. G. Wodehouse.

“Damsels in Distress” is a 1937 Fred Astaire vehicle, co-starring Joan Fontaine. This was the first movie Astaire made after his partnership with Ginger Rogers broke up, and the project was complicated by the distressing discovery that Miss Fontaine couldn’t dance. Oops. (I find it hard to understand how anyone, even a very pretty young woman, could make it in the theater/movie world without learning to dance a little. Maybe she just wasn’t up to Astaire’s standard. That I call highly plausible.)

The film’s story, in any case, is based on a 1919 novel of Wodehouse’s, incorporating his personal experience in Broadway theater. Sadly, he didn’t do any lyrics for this show.

The movie, I’m sorry to report, did not do well, despite the presence of a young couple of comedians who called themselves George Burns and Gracie Allen. But its reputation seems to have grown with time.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it. I need to check it out.

Elegy in linoleum

Old Main, Augsburg College. Creative Commons image from Wikimedia Commons.

As I was reading Mark Helprin’s latest (marvelous) novel, Elegy in Blue, I was struck by his evocation of life in the New York borough of Brooklyn, a community not commonly cited as a spiritual or esthetic center. Thus does memory transmogrify location. It put me in mind of the place I remember as my happiest home, also not a particular beauty spot, but transfigured in memory.

It was my final year of college. I went to Augsburg College (now known, hubristically, as Augsburg University) in Minneapolis. Augsburg was always a rather cramped institution, shoehorned physically into the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood (due to historical developments I know about but won’t bore you with). It’s Little Somalia now, but back then Cedar-Riverside still remembered the time when it was nicknamed “Snoose Boulevard.” It clusters around a seven-cornered intersection where Scandinavian immigrants flocked in the 1880s and ‘90s. Bars and churches were scattered about.

My roommate and I (he was a large, impressive young man who eventually became a Russian Orthodox monk and now resides in a mental institution in California) took over the upstairs apartment from some friends who were moving on. The benefits of the place were a) its proximity to the college, and b) its proximity to five pretty Christian girls in an apartment next door. The main drawback was the landlady. She was a human relic, alcohol and tobacco-permeated. White as an albino, purely from staying indoors. Wrinkled and saggy and quivering, like a walking blancmange. She used to yell up the stairs for me or my roommate to come help her move something heavy, and occasionally she would poke around in our space when we were gone.

A steep staircase led up to our quarters. To its left there was a small, L-shaped room. “This,” said my roommate, who was more impressed than I with my plans to be an author, “will be your office. You will write here.” And so I did. My steel desk, disassembled for the move, fit exactly into the lower angle of the “L”. My personal library sat behind me, on bricks-and-boards bookshelves.

Next to my office was the living room, with one window pane broken and covered in cardboard (it was never fixed in my time). There my roommate set up his multitudinous library, hundreds of books, some of which I think he may have actually read. Then there was the bedroom and the kitchen, floors covered in undulating linoleum. At the back, the bathroom and a back staircase – a comforting amenity in a building where squirrels sometimes nibbled the wiring.

I studied in my little office, of course (managed a cum laude), but when I sat down to write I felt like an absolute fraud. I spent a lot of time thinking about one of the Girls Next Door. I had fallen for her before I moved in, which, from a purely operational perspective, was bad strategy. I should have gotten to know them all to see if there was a reciprocal spark with any of them. But I bet my shirt on one and, needless to say, lost said garment.

But for a while there, I was a man in love. I enjoyed being in love, and I enjoyed thinking of myself as a guy in love.

After the Great Disaster, I sat in that office, looking out through the much-repainted window frame where I’d seen her passing below many times, and decided that, okay, I was fated to be a tortured artist. I’d better get on with it.

I did two fateful things then. First of all, I pulled the textbooks I’d saved from my old college Norwegian classes off the bricks-and-boards shelf. I began systematically studying the language; I hadn’t really worked at it when I took the classes. I think I had a vague idea of going to Norway someday and finding Love. In any case, the study paid off in time.

Secondly, I took my little Sears portable typewriter (brown in color) and began the first draft of what would become my novel, Wolf Time. I didn’t finish that draft then, but eventually I would. Later I would rewrite it entirely. But it was a start. You’ve got to start someplace.

When I looked out my narrow window, the view wasn’t a bad one. Minneapolis is a green city, and it was greener back then. The house we lived in no longer exists – they razed the whole block some years later, to build a chapel devoted to whatever God it is they worship at Augsburg now. But back then I could look across the street to see bits of Augsburg’s brown brick on my left. Directly across, a number of houses, many of which were probably used for apartments like ours. The second house from the corner I will never forget, because it housed a musician who used to climb up on the roof from time to time in the evening and play the flute. I don’t think anybody complained. He played well, and this was the 1970s. Everybody understood, I think, that having a flutist on a roof in our neighborhood gave us countercultural cred.

On the corner was the co-op grocery store, another stab at the Man. Neither I nor my roommate ever shopped there.

Time passed. We moved out and went on to other things. Augsburg tore our house down (no great crime against art or humanity in itself) and apostatized (I don’t think the two actions were related). Cedar-Riverside moved on to fresh minorities. Minneapolis ceased to be the kind of place where people return your wallet if you drop it.

And I, as you know, became rich and famous. But in some sense it started in that apartment.

‘The Ballad of Casey Jones’

Yesterday I had three ideas for blog posts, all of which seemed to me both intriguing and easy to remember – so why write them down?

Today, of course, I’ve forgotten them all.

The only thing I came up with today – for no reason I can think of – was the song in the video above, quaintly illustrated with footage of model trains. Well, I’m the grandson of a railroad man (a line foreman), so why not post about the legendary Casey Jones?

As a child, I thought of Casey Jones as a burly blonde man, due to seeing a syndicated TV series about him starring Alan Hale, Jr. (later to be Skipper on “Gilligan’s Island”), and a local Minnesota kids’ TV show, starring a guy constructed along roughly the same lines. In fact, Jones was a tall, thin, dark-haired fellow. His name was John Luther Jones (1864-1900). He was born in Missouri, but his family moved to Cayce, Kentucky, from which he acquired the nickname “Casey.” He married a Roman Catholic girl in 1886 and converted to that church.

Jones went to work for the Mobile & Ohio Railroad as a telegraph operator, but rose rapidly to the lofty position of engineer, moving to the Illinois Central railroad. He achieved, if not celebrity, at least some public distinction during the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair, when he was one of the engineers assigned to carry tourists to the fairgrounds. He was popular with the passengers, and enjoyed the work.

As an engineer, he was known to be a risk-taker. There were penalties for skirting safety rules, and he racked up a fair number of them, but Jones and the other engineers were well aware that the penalties for late arrival were greater. In any case, he seems to have liked the challenge. He was a speed junky – in a later time he might have been a race car driver or jet pilot. He was proud of his “on time” record, and is credited with performing an authentic real-life rescue worthy of a movie – sighting a child standing frozen on the tracks as he worked on the engine’s running board, he climbed out onto the cowcatcher and scooped her safely up in his arms.

He worked out of Jackson, Tennessee until 1900, the year of his death, when he transferred to Memphis. On April 30, 1900, at 12:50 a.m., he boarded his regular engine 75 minutes behind schedule (accounts differ as to whether he’d been given time to rest properly). The weather and track conditions were good, and he whooped and poured on the speed, confident he could make up the time. Unbeknownst to him, a train stalled at Vaughn, Mississippi, too long for the siding, was blocking the track. A flagman had been sent out to give warning, but Jones either did not see him or saw him too late. When he realized he was going to plow into the other train, he blew the whistle (as a warning), reversed the engine, and told his fireman to jump. He himself stayed in place. His train hit the boxcar, derailed, and finally came to a rest. There were some injuries, but only Casey Jones died. Since that time there have been quibbles, but most people considered him a hero.

“The Ballad of Casey Jones” seems to have been first sung by Wallace Saunders, a black engine wiper who’d been a friend of Casey’s. However, it’s not certain what words or music he sang; he never wrote them down. The ballad evolved into the folk song we know today. It’s been recorded by many artists.

The Commie labor agitator Joe Hill wrote a version called, “Casey Jones, the Union Scab,” which was a vile slander – John Luther Jones was a paid-up union member.

The Uber of 2 evils

Photo credit: Jon Tyson (jontyson). Unsplash license.

“How’s it going?” a hypothetical interlocutor asks me.

Well, stuff is happening. My life is not dull. On a positive note, I just got an opportunity (not a lead-pipe cinch, but a possibility) to get involved in a writing project. I’m not going to tell you what it is right now. If I make the cut, I’ll let you know. If not, I’ll plausibly deny any and all knowledge of the whole matter, an eternally believable dodge in my case.

I have, I think I’ve mentioned before, two separate editing jobs with deadlines coming up soon. One pays money, the other (I can only hope) treasures in Heaven.

Have I done any more driving for Uber Eats? Not this week. I’ve been busy with the editing stuff, and – can I be frank with you? – I’m still a little scared. I’ve learned a lot in my first few runs, and one thing I’ve learned is that my Android phone is way underpowered. The many glitches I’ve experienced in the Uber Eats app are (I now suspect) due to my phone just running out of memory. I’d already decided to restart the thing after each delivery. Now I plan to refuse all “stacked” deliveries – deliveries where you pick up from two vendors located close to each other, and then deliver both in a single run. Every time I try that, the app refuses to give me directions, and I have to switch to Google Maps. I’ll see if doing only singles makes it better.

But not tonight. More editing has come in. I figure I need to prioritize the editing, even though shirking Uber Eats embarrasses me.

A friend suggested I get a new phone. I told him that if I could afford a new phone, I probably wouldn’t be driving for Uber Eats.

Life, said the wise man, is a choice of the lesser of two embarrassments.

Surprised by A.I.

I found this video on YouTube. It seems to me both wonderful and troubling.

First of all, Jack Lewis is using “my” microphone. It’s a Blue Yeti, and I have one exactly like it, even unto the color. (Or “colour,” as he would have spelled it.)

Secondly, it’s pretty well done, except for a couple glitches. The voice appears to be cloned from Lewis’ well-known The Four Loves recordings. (On the downside, I’ve read a statement from one of Lewis’s friends, who says that that was not his normal speaking style.)

The troubling aspect is – of course – just that this is A.I. I’m almost obligated to hate A.I., which took a much-needed job away from me.

The very idea of resurrecting actual humans through A.I. is just disturbing to many of us, whether it’s affected our bottom lines or not. It seems creepy, like necromancy. However, I’m not sure that creepy feeling is to be trusted. When radio was a new technology, there was a fair number of sincere Christians who denounced it as demonic – voices coming through the air; that has to come from the domain of the Prince of the Powers of the Air! (For our young readers, that’s a biblical reference to the devil (Ephesians 2:2 in the King James Version).

But the bottom line, for me, is that I found it kind of fun.

I’d like to see more of this sort of stuff, and no doubt I will. Maybe somebody can recreate Moody preaching, or Jonathan Edwards declaiming “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” (contemporaries reported that he read it from a manuscript, in a very rote voice).

The best thing about A.I. might be that it could kill Hollywood. We can bring back the great actors of the past and cast them in new movies, bypassing Wokeness. I’d love to see a young Clint Eastwood playing Travis McGee, for instance. Authors could have total control of film adaptations. Who wants to do an A.I. production of The Year of the Warrior for 50 bucks? I might be able to spring for half of that.

The quest for the saint

Medieval altar to Saint Olaf preserved in Nidaros Cathedral.

Someone on Basefook brought this project to my attention. The idea is to locate the lost bones of St. Olaf (best remembered as a character in my Erling novels) for scientific and cultural purposes.

For a saint as problematic as he was in life, St. Olaf swung disproportionate weight in the religious life of the European Middle Ages. His shrine in Nidaros Cathedral was a rich and elaborate one, making the city of Trondheim a very popular pilgrimage destination (perhaps people calculated that the hard trip over Norwegian terrain would earn them extra penance points). Pilgrims streamed in from all over Europe, lifting up prayers, looking for miracles, and spending money. Sigrid Undset describes such pilgrimages in several of her novels.

During the Reformation, Olaf’s shrine was demolished and broken up, the proceeds going to the king. Yet it seems that the bones themselves were not destroyed. Instead, they seem to have been re-buried covertly. Anyone who knew the secret of their location did not pass it on. But now there’s this project to rediscover them using modern scientific techniques.

My Basefook friends have expressed mixed views on the project. Many of them are – reasonably – concerned that if the bones are recovered, they will once again become the object of pilgrimages and devotion. We Protestants don’t hold with that stuff, and I agree.

Yet, all things considered, I’m for it. I believe in freedom of religion, so let the Roman Catholics do what they like. If it serves as a counterweight to the advance of Islam in Europe, it’s the lesser of two evils, it seems to me. What I’d like is for Lutheran Norway to be preserved, but I’ll take a Catholic Norway over a Muslim one.

Also, I’ll be interested in what analysis of the bones will reveal.

I signed the petition. I’ll be watching the project’s progress with interest.