Over here, Anthony Paul Mator says in passing, “I suppose we might drudge up the old Christian-artists-vs.-Christians-who-make-art battle, although I tend to shrug off such discussions as so much frivolous elitist drivel.”

Have you been wondering about the best westerns from last century? Wonder no more.

You may not be aware of this, reserved as I’ve been on the subject, but most of my ancestral roots are Norwegian.

And on this day of days, May 17, I’m bound to write something about Norway. America is my mother, but Norway is my grandmother. And grandmothers are special.

Today’s not Norwegian Independence Day, as many suppose. It’s Constitution Day. The Norwegians drafted their constitution in 1814, when the European powers, flush with victory over Napoleon, wrested Norway from Bonaparte’s ally, Denmark, and awarded it to Sweden. The Norwegians thought this would be a good time to declare independence, and they wrote the constitution as a first step. The king of Sweden responded by marching in troops and killing a few people, then graciously allowed the Norwegians to keep their constitution, but under the Swedish crown.

For the next 90 years, the Norwegians celebrated their Constitution Day annually, as part of a calculated effort to press for independence. At last, in 1905, they got it. But Constitution Day was such a beloved tradition by then that it remains the most revered national holiday, beating Independence Day (June 7) like an egg. There are large parades all over the country on May 17. An important part of the celebrations is children’s parades, with hundreds of small children (where they can assemble hundreds; not easy nowadays in Norway) marching and waving blue, white and red flags, many wearing miniature versions of the national costumes.

Here’s a picture from Norway.

This is the Borgund stave church, a national treasure that’s about 1200 years old. The first stave churches were built in Viking times, but all of those rotted eventually, since the supporting pillars were set in earth. Later they learned to set the pillars in stone sills, and the churches (coated in pitch) became almost immortal, barring lightning strikes, candle accidents and arson. At one time there were hundreds around the country. Today there are a couple dozen. What really did them in was a well-meaning law requiring all parishes to have church buildings capable of holding a minimum number of worshipers. Most congregations had to build new churches, and many of them stopped maintaining the old ones, or even dismantled them. The Borgund church, here, is considered the jewel of the survivors, the best preserved of them all.

I took the picture in 2003, during my first lecture cruise. It was a perfect picture-taking day, as they were having a drought in Norway that year.

I shall close with the traditional Ole joke.

Mrs. Ole called the newspaper. “I vant yoo ta print an announcement for me,” she said. “Print, ‘Ole died.’”

“That’s it?” the newspaper man asked. “Just ‘Ole died’?”

“Ja. Dat’s all anybody needs ta know.”

“But you know, our newspaper gives you five words free for an announcement. Do you want to waste three words? Surely there’s something more you want to say about your late husband.”

Mrs. Ole thought for a moment.

“Print, ‘Ole died. Boat for sale,’” she said.

Care to talk about the candidate debate last night? I wish some of these guys would step down. There are too many of them. In short, we need a conservative leader, not another Reagan so much as a skilled leader who will cut back government’s reach and defend our country at home and abroad.

Those refreshments I thought I had to prepare for the Viking Age Society last week? Tonight’s the proper night. I just put together a concoction which will doubtless go down in song and story as one of the great tragedies of our time.

The thing is, May 17 is coming up. That’s Syttende Mai, Norwegian Constitution Day. Syttende Mai is the really big national holiday in Norway. Much bigger than their Independence Day, for historical reasons I won’t bore you with now (I’ll bore you with them later).

Anyway, last month when I got roped into providing refreshments, people made it known that they’d really like to have a bløtkake for the May meeting. The bløtkake (cream cake) is a wonderful Norwegian dessert made of sponge cake, cream and fruit.

I did some research and discovered that there doesn’t seem to be anyplace in this area (Tell it not in Gath!) that sells bløtkaker. I looked up recipes, and decided the real thing is beyond my baking skills.

So I’m faking it. No deception is involved. I’ll announce it as “Mock Bløtkake.”

I’m using a (store-bought) angel food cake and Cool Whip. The fruit, at least, is real (strawberries and blueberries). I assembled the thing and now have it keeping cool in a cooler. No doubt the cream will have slid down the sides by the time it’s time to serve it, and I’ll go home covered with shame.

In other news, my former agent, now defunct, e-mailed me the other day to ask if I was all set up with the new agent to whom he’d referred me a few months back.

I replied that I’d gotten no reply at all from the new agent.

He says I should e-mail them again, and then call them.

I think I can work up the nerve to send a second e-mail. The call, I think, is not on.

I’ve heard recordings of me on the phone. It’s not a euphonious phenomenon.

Which is odd, because I’m a good actor, and I can read copy for radio with the best of them. But when I get on the phone, talking to someone whose body language I can’t read, I go all paranoid defensive, and it shows in my voice.

I’ll keep you posted as further milestones are marked on the downward slide of my writing career.

G.E. Veith notes the film industry will further ruin the movie rating system by raising the ratings for smoking. Commenter Organshoes said characters in some of the old films smoked a lot. “Cigarettes were offered to guests like coffee to Lutherans.”

Does the movie rating system help you when choosing something to watch?

What do you think about indoctrination? I’m all for it and plan to indoctrinate my children in my worldview for as long as I can. It will look like education the older they get, but as I endeavor to know the truth, I will pass it on to them.

American colleges don’t claim to follow my pattern for their students. They claim to promote freedom and the bold exchange of ideas. It’s about education for them, but in a new documentary, Evan Coyne Maloney shines light on what education means on campus. My guess is Indoctrinate U. will show how liberalism undermines its own principles. I don’t know when I will be able to see this film, but I’m sure it’s worth seeing.

This weekend, Chattanooga is hosting several storytellers for a kind of celebration of life in story. You won’t get a firsthand account from me though. I’ll be at home, maybe spinning my own stories.

It’s a black dog day today, for me. Lovely spring outside, but it is winter (in Spitzbergen) in my soul. My blood is reducing to the consistency of a slurry, and a bar graph has appeared on my right thumbnail, along with the flashing message, “Low Signal.” So what I’ve got is a couple links for you tonight, and then I’ll curl up to watch an Ingmar Bergman film. Something in black and white. In the original Swedish. In slow motion.

Libertas blog put up this post the other day, featuring a photo of Fred Thompson and his wife.

I make so bold as to prognosticate that no guy Fred’s age with an arm accessory that looks like that is ever going to be elected president.

My friend “Mad Mike” Williamson, author of Freehold, showed me this site.

Now that’s my idea of aliens. They don’t come in peace. They aren’t here to teach us some mystical secret that will end all human conflict and repair the environment. They come with a technique for kicking cosmic butt. And watch for the picture of the Master. You’d just have to cast Arnold to play him in the movie, right?

Arnold Toynbee, that is.