The fortune cookie maker Wonton Food has released less-than-upbeat messages in their cookies in response to consumers who wanted “more fortunes with actual predictions rather than cryptic sayings,” reports the NY Times. The reporter asks, “Was one writer having a bad day? (‘Perhaps you’ve been focusing too much on yourself.’) Were the cookies giving voice to worries about the economy or terrorism? (‘There may be a crisis looming, be ready for it.’)”
Here are some message suggestions: “What are you looking for, advice from a cookie?” “Don’t eat here again.” “She’s not the one for you.” “Make sure you still have your wallet.” “Reconsider.” “Refinance.” “Ask for a refund.”
Any suggestions you have?
“Everybody knows what you’re thinking.”
“Just give up. You are always wrong anyway.”
“Didn’t you used to be cute? Well, you are not anymore.”
“Clean that plate. Don’t you know there are starving kids in China? And here you sit, not eating their food.”
“Nobody likes you. Nobody.”
“You will forget to turn off a burner today.”
“Your head will begin itching very soon.”
“Whatever you do, do NOT look behind you.”
Ha! I love those. I wonder if they would be open to Engrish sayings. You know what I’m talking about? Something like, “Rots of ruck on you next job.”
“You’re extra special to the end.”
Last week, in the midst of my tree removal crisis, my renter handed me a fortune he’d gotten in a Chinese restaurant that very day.
It said, “Tall trees catch the wind.”
Does that mean if you stand out you’ll get flak, or is it more inspirational than that?
Aitchmark, who knows a little about Chinese culture, tells me it seems to mean something similar to “the nail that stands out will be pounded down.”