What did I worry about before I owned a house? I’m sure there were issues, but that was in another time and another place…

Anyway, right now my concern is lawn mowing. I gave up doing it myself when my hips went bad; I’ve officially declared lawn mowing A Thing I’m Too Old to Do, like climbing ladders and enlisting in the Navy Seals.

I used to have a guy. A cheerful fellow who may not have been the best, but didn’t charge a lot. Last year, I noticed, he came around less and less often. And sometimes I had to call him and ask whether he was still in business. Then this year, he showed up and told me that from now on he wanted to be paid in cash.

I didn’t like the sound of that. The next time he came, I paid him with a check and told him I needed to do it that way, for my tax records. Which is true.

He has not shown up since. So I started looking for a new guy. I called one guy who put up a flyer at my church, but so far he hasn’t had time to come and look around. Which doesn’t bode well.

Then I did an inquiry through Home Advisor. And now I do not lack for applicants. I’ve had several calls today. Oddly enough, they all make pretty much the same pitch, and ask pretty much the same price. (I suspect they collude, like a cartel.) So I guess I could just pick one.

My problem now is, I don’t want to hire any of them.

I said their proposals were similar. Another similarity is their salesmanship. They try to keep me on the line until they can wear me down. They try to hold me hostage till they can close that deal.

I am well-known to be a pushover. I’m easily bullied.

But one thing I won’t do, is say “yes” when I’m not ready. If one of these guys had just said, “Here’s what I’m offering – think it over and get back to me,” I’d be his huckleberry.

I’ll probably end up hiring the one I hated least.