I meant for this to be a more cheerful post. I’ve been feeling pretty good of late, and wanted to talk about it, once I’d caught up with book reviews. Today I’m caught up, but…

I’ve noticed I’ve been feeling unusually cheerful for some time now. I won’t say happy because, as I see it, real happiness involves good relationships. And I don’t really have much in that department, nor am I likely to.

But I’m used to being chronically depressed. It’s how I’ve always defined myself – I am a depressive person. Melancholic. I take pride in handling a chronic condition that some less fortunate folks don’t survive.

But – and it seems to go back to when I got booted from my job and started freelancing – I’ve been feeling pretty good for a while. To top if off, lately, in preparation for the Great Norway Trip, I’ve been seriously dieting. I’d dropped 15 pounds last time I checked. Also I’ve been exercising regularly at the gym. The other day I had to do some walking, and I found it was much easier than it had been some months ago. That’s a pleasant sensation, especially for an old man.

Yesterday was another good day. I had to take Mrs. Ingebretsen, my PT Cruiser, into the shop because the Check Engine light had come on. But they told me the problem wasn’t serious, and could easily be put off. On top of that, the light went off again today.

Even better, recently I’d been trying a new mental trick. It was based on an article I read in Reader’s Digest many, many years ago. I mean, before I graduated high school, I think.

The article, as I recall it (probably wrong), was written by a guy promoting an idea he’d gotten from a rabbi in his youth. The rabbi told him, when he had an embarrassing experience, not to beat himself up. Instead, say “Next time.” “Next time I’ll know to do it better.” “Next time I won’t make that same mistake.” Turning personal errors into learning experiences, rather than occasions for self-loathing.

For some reason, that article had stuck in my mind, even though I made no attempt whatever to put it into practice. But now I thought, what can it hurt to try? The next time a shameful memory popped up, I tried using the “next time” technique. And what do you know? It seemed to help. It’s early days in the experiment, but it looked good.

But that was before this morning. This morning I picked up my cell phone to check the usual suspects. I got a nice message from a nice person who’ll be hosting me in Norway. They’d bought me a ticket for something I’d enjoy doing. And I had to tell them I was already booked for that time slot. This was almost physically painful. I hate turning a kindness down. Kindness should be encouraged. There’s little enough of it in the world.

And then somebody commented on one of my posts on Facebook, and what they said really kicked me in a sensitive place. I don’t know if they meant it to hurt like that, but it did hurt. Still does.

And the day was rainy and gray and cold. And there’s that terrible news from Texas. I got nothing productive done, beyond my visit to the gym. Haven’t had a bad day like this for some time.

But tomorrow will be another chance at a day.

Next time, I’ll do it better. I hope.