I don’t usually write about science, because I’m an Intelligent Design yahoo, but this is really cool:
The multibillion-dollar Large Hadron Collider will explore the tiniest particles and come ever closer to re-enacting the big bang, the theory that a colossal explosion created the universe.
The machine at CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, promises scientists a closer look at the makeup of matter, filling in gaps in knowledge or possibly reshaping theories.
OK, I’ll admit that part’s boring. The cool stuff is in this linked article:
Evans’ ambitions, however, have brought widespread concern among scientists who say the experiment could create a shower of unstable black holes inside the Earth, and subsequently bring destruction to the planet.
“Nothing will happen for at least four years,” retired German Otto Rossler told the Mail. “Then someone will spot a light ray coming out of the Indian Ocean during the night and no one will be able to explain it.”
I mean, is this awesome, or what? You’ve got this humongous light ray coming out of the Indian Ocean, like a flare sent up to other planets saying, “How come you didn’t warn us about this?” And that means, I presume, a big hole in the bottom of the sea, cut by this little black hole that’s chewing everything up like Pacman down inside the earth’s core.
What happens then? Obviously, the water has to go down the hole.
So you’ve got all the water in the Indian Ocean, swirling clockwise* down the drain, like a giant toilet bowl.
Tell me you wouldn’t pay to see that.
The other cool thing is that the Europeans are doing it! It’s Swiss guys and Englishmen and people with funny accents (and, no doubt, underground bunkers, evil henchmen and little fluffy lap dogs that they carry everywhere) executing this massive screw-up.
That means that when the world ends, it won’t be America’s fault!
See! I told you so!
*I actually don’t know whether the water swirls clockwise or counterclockwise in that hemisphere. In fact, I don’t even know which way it swirls in this hemisphere.
The rap version
Talk about convergence. The most boring subject in the world meets the most irritating music. If that doesn’t create a black hole, I don’t know what will.
This is hilarious. I also saw that a lead scientist said those who think they are going to make black holes are moreorless idiots.
As near as I can tell, the people worried about this need to check their math.
But: CERN uses our hardware and software as part of this project, so if something goes wrong…Well, Lars, you can blame me!
I always knew you were not to be trusted.
yeah. Not to be trusted. But *way* cool, in geekland at least.
Loved the headline.
There’s a hole in the bottom of the sea.
There’s a hole in the bottom of the sea.
There’s a hole.
There’s a hole.
There’s a hole in the bottom of the sea.
(For the definitive version, see the Veggie Tales video, The Wonderful World of Autotainment.