Free associating tonight. I’m reading a new Michael Koryta book, which I’m enjoying a lot, but it will take a day or two to finish it. I could look for some music to post, but perceive no cranial lightbulbs in that area.

I can’t imagine why anyone would care to know about this, but I’ve been breaking up my schedule a little lately. My custom from time immemorial has been to post at 6:00 p.m., my time, a while after I’d had supper. But tonight I have an appointment at that hour to talk on the phone, with somebody who’s supposed to be able to help me navigate the turbid waters of Medicare supplement plans. I’ve been working with the same company ever since I went onto Mandatory Old Folks’ Medical Welfare. (It does no good explaining to Leftists that the whole thing could probably be done more cheaply in a private system. Numbers are purely theoretical to the Left. They care not for mere numbers. They care about parading their compassion before men, through the vicarious machinery of government.) But that company has decided not to insure people in Minnesota anymore (one wonders why anyone at all would insure people in Minnesota under any circumstances), and I must find a new carrier.

So I’m posting early tonight.

On Mondays I’ll henceforth be posting early as a (new) rule, because I’ve gotten involved in a men’s Bible Study group at my church.

If you’re a normal, healthy person, you’ll have no idea how big a deal that is in my life.

I’ve been a shy guy ever since certain awful stuff (I’ll spare you the details) happened to me when I was about nine, transforming me from an outgoing, talkative child to a diffident, timid wallflower. I made a group of very close friends in college, and did musical ministry with them for several years. After we broke up as a group we grew apart, and I’ve been disappointed by the way almost all of them have changed their views. This has made me reluctant to make new Christian friends – I’ve conceived an irrational fear that I’m a bad influence (Despair.com used to have a poster that said, “The only consistent element in all your disappointing relationships is you”).

But I found that I fit in with this group of guys from the first evening. They’re not a solemn bunch, though solemn things get discussed. We tell, and appreciate, dumb jokes. They’ve given me space to participate in the meetings as I feel comfortable, and to hold back where I don’t.

I had not expected this. I’ve grown paranoid in my old age, and the two years of Covid quarantine helped to cement that. It’s one of my misfortunes (or sins) that I handle solitude pretty well. I feel lonely from time to time, of course, but I always reflect that I’d rather be lonely than threatened and bullied, and threatening and bullying is what I expect from my fellow man. Better to be safe than sorry. I’ve been attending this church for a good decade now, I think, but I’ve always just attended Sunday services and scooted for the door. Better to remain a stranger, I figured, than to subject my Christian brethren to my baleful acquaintance. I’d likely offend them, or look like a fool. If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that they won’t like me.

The men’s Bible study has neatly punctured this defensive presumption. What the long-term consequences may be remain to be seen. I will certainly not be rushing into anything.

Still, it’s nice to have some nearby friends again.

I seem to recall something in the Bible about not neglecting gathering together.