A new planet has been discovered somewhere visually near the Big Dipper with temperatures spiking to 2,240 degrees. It’s about four times the size of Jupiter. According to Gregory Laughlin, an astronomy professor at the University of California at Santa Cruz:

When it comes closest to its star, it becomes one giant “brewing storm” complete with shock waves, Laughlin said. The radiation bombarding the planet is 800 times stronger than when it is farthest away.

Then just as quickly, the planet slingshots away and radiates the heat to the cool vacuum of space. It glows cherry red and the temperature plummets, Laughlin said. “Utterly bizarre.”

Telescopes have seen what appears to be red beings with pitchforks wading through fiery lakes and posting vacancy signs.

In related news, another hot planet has been found, and astronomers are arguing over it’s size and significance.

If you find this fascinating, NASA wants your opinion on where to look next. You could win a photo of mysterious object you choose, something like this I’d imagine: A Black Hole Overflows From Galaxy Centaurus A. That’s awesome.

Since I’m on a roll here, let me point out more space news. The new president says he will seek to ban space-based weapons, such as orbiting lasers cannons meant to take out intercontinental missles. He also says he will consider the threats to U.S. space equipment and how to counter those threats by “military and diplomatic means.” I guess space weapons aren’t a viable way to counter military threats.

“Meanwhile, the Pentagon during the past few years carried out or planned a number of experiments that critics charged were thinly veiled tests of space-based weapons,” reports Space.com. But apparently there’s a problem defining exactly what a space weapon is.

Perhaps Mr. Obama’s intention to free the earth’s orbit of U.S. made weapons is the reason aliens zipped by during his inauguration. At least, that’s what some fruitcakes are saying. If we believe long enough, they will come for us.