The whole Ted Haggard thing makes me sad. Not only for its own sake, but because it strikes a nerve around here.
I wasn’t actually involved with the church body I now work for, back when it happened, except in the sense that the church I grew up in had joined up. I got the news from a friend (now a former friend) who derived considerable pleasure from the discomfiture of those disgusting pietists.
It was several years ago now, back when the Very Large Lutheran Church Body Which Shall Remain Nameless was coalescing like a lump in a batch of Cream o’ Wheat (“Hey! You guys don’t believe anything anymore, and we don’t believe anything anymore either! No reason we can’t do whatever it is we’re doing all together!”). Lots of churches that hadn’t gotten the Postmodern Memo were looking for a new affiliation, and our group looked pretty good to many of them. We (and by “we” I mean “they,” because I wasn’t involved yet) were doing great, adding congregations almost on a weekly basis.
But the scandal threw all that in the dumper for a while.
The president of our fellowship, a man widely liked, respected and admired, was discovered to be living a double life. He was, as it turned out, a secret bisexual. He couldn’t hide it anymore when his wife was diagnosed with H.I.V.
I came on staff some time later, when the wounds were beginning to heal. But the pain remained; the betrayal was far from forgotten. The man himself was still alive when I came in. He was a member of my church. I never met him as such, but I saw him often, a tall, gaunt man whose skin was darker than his genetics had intended. His wife had already passed away by then. He had repented and accepted discipline. He was on the sidelines, off the roster. I never heard him speak.
I know two of his daughters, both of them members of my church. Lovely, smart, godly women. I can’t even imagine the kind of emotional suffering they’ve been through.
I don’t have much point in writing this, except to remind people of the personal tragedy that accompanies scandals of this sort. Somebody’s in a lot of pain today, and could use your prayers.
In my late twenties I began a spiritual quest; I ended up in a Unitarian church. After a couple years there was a major scandal where the assistant pastor was discovered molesting several of the children. The main pastor refused to throw the man out. (Inclusivism is our main ideal….) The reprobate had the gall to show up a few weeks later for a sunday service. He was accosted outside by the parents involved and ‘persuaded’ to leave. Our minister was outraged by this. He delievered a seering sermon accusing the parents involved of being bigots, uncharitable, etc. The most laid back man on the planet gave the most fiery sermon I’ve ever heard. (We usually got book reviews.) “No one should on ANY account be forbidden access to U. services…” This was the beginning of the end for me. I couldn’t believe it; and I still can’t.
p.s. In my view it’s this kind of an attitude that lies behind Muslim immigration. I don’t get it, but there it is.
I haven’t wanted to draw a conclusion until a confession is made, and Haggard’s confession to drug dealing doesn’t look good nor does his resignation. Still I don’t care to judge from a distance.
We are in a terrible war.
My mom was just saying last night, before I’d heard of any of this, that this was probably the beginning of the end of the church’s authority on sexual matters, especially combined with the Catholic molestation scandals and the church’s high divorce rate….
Sad days.
The story Lars tells is a very real one for me, as I’m a pastor in his church body, and I graduated from seminary just under one year before the Stunning Revelation. For years I considered it a form of denial that the exact nature of his trespass was never directly named in our magazine, the “Lutheran Ambassador”, and perhaps there was indeed an element of that, but at some point my eyes became open to the fact that the silence was a form of kindness and grace to “the man” and his family. Many forms of kindness and grace have been shown to the man and his family in the ensuing years, and I think that’s an example of our church body at its best.
This news sparked a memory for me, too.
I posted about it.
It makes me wonder, why do we elevate a mere man to such heights?
Can ANY man handle all that pressure?
Does God WANT him to?
I don’t get it.
But, then I’m a small church, small community person.
I believe that the biggest impact comes from the small humble person who leads, but doesn’t even realize anyone is following him.
It all makes me want to cry, and I’m not even the crying kind.
You are correct, Lars. There are people in DEEP pain right now.
Hopefully, their pain will be a pathway to God.