Garrison Keillor’s secret celebration

One of our readers, Pastor Karl Anderson, alerted me to this recent column by Garrison Keillor, of whom I imagine you’ve heard.

It’s a very odd column, from someone who (I’m told) is a very odd man. The most interesting part is here:

Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that’s their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite “Silent Night.” If you don’t believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own d*mn “Silent Night” and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write “Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we’ll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah”? No, we didn’t.

This remarkable passage is notable for being at once gratifying and infuriating. It does my heart good to know that Mr. Keillor cares about the truths of Christianity, the uniqueness of Christ, the importance of the Incarnation, all that culturally inconvenient stuff that makes the difference between true belief and mere sentiment. Good on him for that.

But then he goes on to insult Jewish songwriters (like Johnny Marks, whom Mark Steyn has been eulogizing this season) who write perfectly pleasant, seasonal songs loved by millions, as if propagating some kind of low dose Blood Libel. It’s the sort of out-of-left-field change of argument one expects from a stubborn spouse (or so I’ve heard) who’s in a bad mood and just wants a fight.

I have a theory on what Keillor’s really thinking here. Like most theories (most especially mine) it’s probably wrong, but I’ll wheel it out and let you tell me what you think. Bear in mind that I can claim some insight into Keillor’s mind because, like him, I’m a) a small town Minnesotan by upbringing, b) pathologically shy (though I’ve never figured out how somebody as diffident as he claims to be has managed to be married so many times. Wish I knew where to shop for that kind of shyness), and c) closely associated with Lutheranism.

One irony that’s struck me increasingly in recent years, though I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it publicly before, is the Cultural Christmas Conundrum.

I remember that when I was young, one of the standard tropes of Christian ministers, in print and from the pulpit, was, “Christmas is a holy season! Keep your secular commercialism out of our holiday!” It was remarkably close in some ways to what Keillor says in his column. I must admit I always listened with mixed feelings, because I really liked all the music and decorations and colored lights of the secular observance—and still do.

Then something happened that should have delighted the preachers. Our society suddenly began to say, “This is not Christmas! This is a winter festival! A happy holiday! Festivus! It has nothing to do with any religious observance whatever!”

And behold, the ministers were not pleased. Instead of declaring victory, they immediately started complaining about the secularization of the public square, boycotting companies that forbade their employees to say “Merry Christmas.” (I myself have never forgiven Target for chasing out the Salvation Army bell ringers.)

What offended the pastors in the old days, and continues to offend Keillor now, is reflexive, non-credal cultural Christianity. It was something we used to denounce, but now look back on with something more than mere nostalgia. Cultural Christianity was a reserve (not a saving one, but not without value either) of moral and civic memory that helped bind us together as a society. We see it disappearing around us, and are suddenly afraid, as if that wall we just demolished in our house turned out—against our expectations—to be a bearing wall.

Keillor, I think, is coming at the same issue from the other side. While his Christian faith would appear to be genuine, I don’t think he believes it has any cultural significance, or should. Like most of his friends on the Left, he considers traditional Christian morality purely a private matter. It’s not only unconstitutional, but positively dangerous (he would say) to allow it to affect public life.

Keillor’s vision of true Christianity may be revealed in this segment of his column:

Christmas does not need any improvements. It is a common ordinary experience that resists brilliant innovation. Just make some gingerbread persons and light three candles and sing softly in dim light about the poor man gathering winter fu-u-el and the radiant beams and the holly and the ivy, and you’ve got it.

This is the liberal’s vision of the proper societal role of Christianity. Something quiet and dim. Done furtively, even shamefully, out of the public eye. You’re free to believe anything you like, of course. Just keep it to yourself. Don’t demand the right to apply it to public matters or political issues. Don’t act as if it has any real-world importance.

This is, of course, the People’s Republic of China model of religious freedom.

If Keillor wants to find the kind of Christmas he’s looking for, China might be a good place to look.

(Cross-posted at Mere Comments)

8 thoughts on “Garrison Keillor’s secret celebration”

  1. The problem with trying to analyze Keillor’s thinking is that it’s like that of so many liberals, in that it is so muddled and murky that he really doesn’t know what he means, or even what he’s thinking from one minute to the next, except he’s never really thinking, he’s feeling, and the things he’s thinking–or rather feeling–about share the common characteristic of being things that annoy him in some vague and undefined fashion, and thus, he drones on and on about one disjointed thing after another, piling one strange thought onto another, with the one common thread being “These Are Things That I Don’t Like, Even Though I’m Not Always Sure Why I Don’t Like Them,” and it starts to look like those particularly oddball episodes of Monty Python’s Flying Circus where there sort of seemed like there must be some overall theme or point, like the one about “How To Recognize Different Types Of Trees From Quite A Ways Away”, but then the whole thing came crashing to an abrupt and baffling end without a real denouement, leaving you saying “What just happened?” sort of like you did when that girl you had been going steady with since seventh grade assured you that she wasn’t breaking up with you, and that you’d still be friends, but you could maybe just start seeing some other people sometimes, and anyway, it wasn’t you, it was her, and 45 minutes later you were driving home in the rain, realizing that you had absolutely been dumped (which you ironically noted to yourself was a perfect illustration how so many movie makers use the Pathetic fallacy, like where it always starts raining at a really sad point in the story arc) listening to Foreigner sing “I wanna know what love is” on that Top 40s station that would always ruin the songs that you really liked by playing them so damn many times that you got sick of them, and never playing songs by the good groups like Adam and the Ants, although they really reached their peak with “Goodie Two-Shoes,” and now it just hacks you off that the so-called oldies stations never play that one, and you always wondered if Adam Ant was trying to make some sort of strange word-association thing with his stage name and that Hanna-Barbera cartoon character Atom Ant, or with the word adamant.

  2. A lot of Garrison Keillor is his “Ikea”-like out-look on himself and life. (Except of course when it comes to his liberal views…) Strip things down to the bare essentials!

    In an attempt to de-commercialize, re-invent, and display all for the masses…many folks have gone way over-board and made a huge mess of the whole day. (He says.)

    Garrison, is a depressed, sad person. I’ve a relative of some kind who used to know him. He wishes to do good for man-kind and at the same time lets success mean too much. He can be kind and he can be nasty…. aaahhh…like most of us?

    I’ve had times, like after my divorce, my kids aren’t home and my room is dark, without a tree, without gifts…but I was NOT all alone… There was ONE who stayed with me the whole time.

    I certainly don’t endorse everyone having such a Christmas regularly, but I can see why Keillor should write about a, “common ordinary experience.” I just wish he’d put the emphasis on Christ for Christmas.

    Since Keillor spouted off so much about his liberal political views… this could be, might be, his way of showing us his, conservative side.

    I mean you call the things “Gingerbread COOKIES”.

    His using “Gingerbread PERSONS”, is an obvious attempt at poking fun at the liberal tripe. IF we called them gingerbread boys and girls… we might be concerned… but you never call a cookie …a person.

    I guess my bottom line; I’ve been really disappointed in Keillor since he came out of the liberal closet so blatantly… so now let him, (and us), spout off as we will…. That is what this country is all about. (Silly people talking stupid and some getting rich over it… where really smart, clever, conservative, Christians continue to be labeled as bad, stupid etc…..

    God bless us all, everyone!

  3. Roy: That’s hilarious.

    John: I know a limo driver who’s driven Keillor around several times. He says he’s quirky, funny and a generous tipper. I always think it says a lot about a person if he’s decent to the help.

    I also knew a fellow who had a mutual friend with Keillor, who told me years ago that the word was that the Old Scout was losing his mind. Perhaps he’s found a way to practice maintenance insanity, as heavy drinkers sometimes practice maintenance alcoholism.

  4. Lars,

    It’s a sort of misconception that Keillor is a Lutheran. he may have been at some time buthe grew up and spend his early adult life as a member of the Plymouth Brethren. Basing their doctrine on verse 19 2 Timothy. They seperate themselves from society…they join no organizations outside of their church, do not eat meals with those outside their congregation and do not listen to music made by people outside their congregation. To that last end they do not watch TV, listen to radio or go to movies.

    They also continually watch each other for transgression.

    And Keillor ends up on radio. Yes, there’s something deeply distrubing there.

  5. Yes, I know he’s not a Lutheran. I believe he’s Episcopalian now. That’s why I said “closely associated with Lutheranism.” He tells stories about Lutherans, and they tend to think he’s one of them, though he’s not.

  6. Interestingly his press agents often send releases about his upcoming appearances to local Lutheran Churches. Our Secretary thought he was a member of the LCMS……..

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