Craigslist Ad: “Poet available to begin work immediately. Capable in rhyme and meter, fluent in traditional and contemporary forms. Quotidian observations available at standard rate of $15/hour; occasional verse at slightly higher rate of $17/hour. Incomprehensible garbage $25/hour. Angst extra.”
It’s funny, but he isn’t joking. He is writing poems on request, even to insult the requester, ala Lane Severson. Observe:
“Now a mere pawn in the house of bishops
He can manage neither a coherent theology
Nor back-to-back-to-back pushups,
Having spent the past eight years
Generating five poorly behaved children
With one wife who, worn out, loathes him
And can’t stop staring at his poorly combed hair.”
That’s only a bit of it, but the point is Lane paid for that abuse.
An enterprising friend of mine earned spending money in college by composing poetry for young couples on the campus. For $3, he would create an “instant” poem with the girl’s name in it. What young man would pass up that deal? My friend was also a marketing genius, because his young buyers rarely had three one-dollar bills in their wallets, so would give him a fiver and tell him to keep the change.
He had a dozen or so stock poems that he could adapt to almost any name, so he made out like a bandit.