Goofing

I'm not nuts after all!

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Photo credit: Koyaanis Qatsi

On a day like this, fraught with historic significance, one that may alter the course of our republic, it is only meet and right that we should consider a topic of the greatest pith and moment.

I refer, as you must have already guessed, to the topic of nuts in food.

Philip over at the Thinklings has posted an essay that testifies both to his extreme good taste and his courage.

My wife has a theory, and I think she’s right. She says “Nuts are a girl thing.” I think you all put them there because it makes your food “nice”, or more impressive for company. So if you are making food for a gathering, it makes it more special to put nuts in it. Kind of like a bow on a present or getting out the nice china. If it’s for public consumption, you think that nuts make it better.

But you’re wrong. Us guys don’t like it. We just want the sandwich or the cookie. Nuts get in our way. OK, so maybe not everybody’s allergic. And maybe not every guy DESPISES nuts, but they are at least a nuisance. He eats your food in spite of the nuts, not because of them. Ask a guy why he eats your nut bread. It’s because it’s there. Ask him, “If I put out two brownies, one with nuts and one without, which one will you choose?” He’s picking the one without nuts. We deal with enough nuts in our lives: at work, on the road, in Congress. We don’t need ‘em in our dessert.

I cannot tell you with what pleasure I read this delightful, insightful think piece. All my life I’ve been choking down food containing nuts (or just skipping it altogether), and I’ve been secretly ashamed. Obviously everybody else likes nuts. I must be the strange one. Peculiar. Unnatural, perhaps.

But Philip informs me that not only is it normal to dislike nuts, it’s MANLY!

Even if the Republicans don’t take the House tonight, that makes me feel good.

Authors, Fiction

Jeffery Deaver Writes Next Bond Novel

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Author Jeffery Deaver is writing the next James Bond novel, saying it’s set in the present and that Bond will be a late 20s, Afghan War vet. Deaver appreciates the appeal actors like Daniel Craig have given to the most famous spy in the world, “but the original Bond was a very dark, edgy character.”

Religion

A broken "hallelujah," part 2

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OK, this is a classic example of why you shouldn’t write about anything before you’ve given it some time to marinate. I wrote about Leonard Cohen’s remarkable song, “Hallelujah,” last week, and now I want to refine what I said (especially the parts that were, you know, wrong).

After listening to some more covers and doing extensive research on Wikipedia, I now think (I’m not sure) I probably made unwarranted assumptions about Cohen’s intentions with the song. I realize now that there are (at least) two different versions of the song—Cohen’s original and the very popular derivatives of Jeff Buckley’s cover, which I’m learning to appreciate:

Continue reading A broken "hallelujah," part 2 →

Music, Religion

Were Not the Right Man on Our Side

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. . . For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe;

His craft and power are great, and, armed with cruel hate,

On earth is not his equal.

Did we in our own strength confide, our striving would be losing;

Were not the right Man on our side, the Man of God’s own choosing . . .

Happy Halloween.

Religion

The Empty Food of Idols

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One of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s early stories is called “The Hollow of the Three Hills,” in which a woman seeks counsel from a witch and receives nothing but bad news. That appears to be the witch’s point, to break the woman’s heart, and that is the reason I believe her revelations to be complete lies. The story doesn’t say the witch is lying, but I see no reason to believe she isn’t. After all, she is in the service of the father of lies.

Deception is my primary filter for viewing occultic things. On the one hand, trusting the stupid words of a horoscope is a great way to hamstring your life. On the other hand, hoping for special advice from a medium or psychic is like trusting your money to Bernie Madoff. Even if what you hear rings true to you, it’s very likely to be a lie.

So it troubled me hear a caller to a radio program about Halloween say that she understood there were witches in her area placing curses on Halloween costumes and she and her church were praying against them this weekend. I suppose prayer against the enemy for any reason is a good thing, but I don’t remember anything in the Bible and I can’t find anything online from trustworthy sources to support the idea that these curses mean anything.


Note the list of occult practices in Deuteronomy 18:9-12 (John Piper has a great sermon on this.)

“When you come into the land that the LORD your God is giving you, you shall not learn to follow the abominable practices of those nations. There shall not be found among you anyone who burns his son or his daughter as an offering, anyone who practices divination or tells fortunes or interprets omens, or a sorcerer or a charmer or a medium or a necromancer or one who inquires of the dead, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the LORD. And because of these abominations the LORD your God is driving them out before you.

Most of these are ways someone would seek knowledge, and the rest don’t suggest to me the legitimacy of casting spells on objects in order to harm innocent people who use them. Perhaps the “charmer” is someone who places charms on things, but is there any real power behind this? Isn’t this just another deception? I think it is. Moreover, I don’t believe Christians have a reason to fear “cursed” costumes, but the Spirit of the Lord within them is far greater than anything the devil is able to do.
Such curses have no power. They are like the empty food of lifeless idols. And though other methods of the occult are dangerous lies for anyone who trusts them, I believe these curses are worthless.

Religion

Trick or Thesis!

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I know what you’re wondering. You’re wondering, “Lars, what’s the appropriate way for a Christian to celebrate Halloween?”

I am happy to provide the authoritative answer to that question. You should become a Lutheran.

See, wasn’t that easy?

October 31 is Reformation Day, the anniversary of the date in 1517 when Martin Luther nailed his 95 Theses to the door of the Wittenberg church (this was not an act of vandalism, by the way. The church door in those days was the regular place to post public notices, like your Facebook Wall).

Below is a short clip from the 1953 movie, Martin Luther. It depicts a dramatic moment in Luther’s story, when he stood before the Diet of Worms (“Diet” means “Council” and Worms is a city. Stifle that giggle) in 1521, and refused to recant his writings. The “Here I stand, I can do no other” line is now thought by scholars to be an addition made by a later writer with a gift for rhetoric, but the dramatic tension is accurate enough. Although he’d been given a safe conduct to the Diet, Luther was well aware of the fate of the proto-Reformer John Hus. Hus had attended the Council of Constance in 1415 under a similar promise of safety. Once he’d been condemned as a heretic, he was arrested and executed anyway, on the grounds that promises to heretics didn’t count. Luther was putting his head in the lion’s mouth, and he knew it.

There is no truth to the rumor that he wore a Batman mask and yelled, “Trick or Treat!”

Today is the last day of the Virtual Book Tour. The first blog listed is Ellis (though they don’t seem to have posted it yet) and the other is The Plot (again).

And that’s that.

Uncategorized

Ghosts? I Think There's One on Aisle K-L

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Ivebeenreadinglately has a curious post on Nate Hawthorne (his friends call him Nate) and a ghost he may or may not have seen in a library. I say may not have seen to mean that I wouldn’t be surprised to learn the great American author made it up. The great librarian Dave Lull manifests in the comments a link to Britannica list of haunted libraries throughout the country. I note that there are no such libraries in Georgia. I also note my disbelief of any of it. (via Books, Inq.)

Goofing

Questions Not to Ask an Author

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  1. Do ever look at your gorgeous face in the mirror and ask yourself why you stay indoors writing?
  2. So when you were writing this, did you think about that A.S. Byatt story from a few years ago that’s almost exactly like yours?
  3. In what font is your new book set?
  4. So I heard your editor at Harper Collins is a real beast. Any truth to that?
  5. Did you complete your creative writing course before finishing this novel?
  6. Do you think you’re all that original?
  7. So, do you type?
  8. If you were to write a basic boy-meets-girl story only three boys meet the girl and she has a lot of cute friends and at one point thinks she may lose all of the boys to her friends but when a fourth guy comes in the first guy gets jealous, what would you call it?