Goofing

Plot Twist Fun

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Ever thought about how a well-known story might end differently? A post on this topic could be a magnet of unwanted spoilers, but I’ll send it anyway. Throwing reality or plausibility aside, what popular story changes would you suggest?

Return of the Jedi–Yoda: Now the truth know you must. Vader, your father he is not. Solo your father, and Leia . . . gasp, cough, cough.

Luke: What about Leia? She couldn’t be . . .

Yoda: Mother.

Luke: Ewww.

Star Trek 4–Kahn isn’t dead after all, and the really old geezer will finally get revenge.

Star Trek 5–They Saved Kahn’s Brain

The Wizard of Oz–The Wizard: But this is Kansas, Dorothy. It’s been Kansas all along. You just have to know it in your heart.

Sherlock Holmes: Unsolved Mysteries–Watson: Holmes hasn’t been able to solve a single crime since the encounter with the woman. For instance, one I had to solve for him came to us on a Monday morning. . . .

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Everyone's Doing It Now

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99c Store Going Out of BusinessTim Challies writes about the money problems the porn industry has. In short, few people want to pay for what they can get for free or get in the context of a good story, like what’s in several HBO series. It reminds me of a comment from a reporter, which I think I blogged about at the time, expressing doubt that anyone paid for pornography anymore.

Tim says, “[P]ornography has succeeded so well that it has forced itself into decline.” And yet, this is not good news. (via Steve B on Facebook)

Tim Challies has an e-book on this topic called Sexual Detox, available on his site.

Writing

Thick Skin

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Thick Skin - Rhinoceros rear end

The Novel Doctor has a few words to say about taking criticism.

But, as the theory goes, if you have a “thick skin,” the review won’t bother you at all. As you read how your protagonist “wouldn’t even be believable playing a stiff on a soap opera” and that your plot “drags more than J. Edgar Hoover” you’ll simply smile while the scent of lavender fills your nostrils and images of puppies and kittens frolicking in a field of poppies fill your mind.

Of course, there are a few problems with this theory, as the doctor explains. I have often thought I take criticism well, but I’m starting to doubt it. At least, I worry that I don’t take it as well as I thought I did. What I need is to put my work out there more aggressively so that more good and bad criticism comes, and I’ll have more practice handling it.

Reading, Reviews

Njal's Saga

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I just finished reading Njal’s Saga again today (actually Magnusson’s and Pálsson’s translation, not the new one pictured above). It would be pointless to review such a classic, but I thought I’d jot down a few reader’s impressions, fancying myself (as I do) a fairly knowledgeable reader.



Njal’s Saga is often named as the greatest of all the Icelandic sagas. It’s not my favorite; I prefer the more action-oriented sagas like Egil’s and Grettir’s. That’s not to say Njal’s Saga lacks action. There’s plenty. The body count piles up like kills in a Stallone movie. But Njal’s is perhaps the most reflective saga, the saga that worries most about its soul.

The central character, of course, is the title character, Njal Thorgeirsson. He’s not the hero; there are actually two heroes, Gunnar and Kari, both mighty warriors of whom Schwarzenegger is not worthy. Njal, by contrast, is a man of peace. He’s famed for his wisdom and shrewdness, not for his martial skills. He can’t even grow a beard, a fact that makes him the target of some contempt. In spite of his efforts, his family gets caught in a cycle of killing and revenge that leads to his death (and his family’s) by burning, in his own house. Continue reading Njal's Saga →

Writing

Ten Reasons You Won't Write That Novel

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File this under: #Shutupandwrite

Author Karisha PrescottShe doesn’t appear to be keep up her blog, but Karisha Prescott does have this post on why you (generally speaking) won’t ever finish that novel you keep talking about, aside from the money you still owe the Don. You don’t make time to write. You don’t work to improve your writing. You over-edit what you have written, and you can’t take feedback.

Goofing

From Homer to Rosie…

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I have achieved a sort of anonymous immortality through this post at Pajamas Media by Bryan Preston. Bryan’s a Facebook friend of mine, and the Facebook friend he quotes at the bottom of the first page, the one who came up with the Homer Simpson gag, was me.

(Caution for the faint of heart—political snark abounds.)

Roy Jacobsen came up with the answer to my Filing Cabinet Drawer Label Joke Challenge yesterday. As he notes, my labels are based on some lines from Harold Arlen’s classic song, “Blues In the Night.” I admit I cheated, rearranging the towns so they’d be alphabetical. But I still think it’s funny.

“From Natchez to Mobile,

From Memphis to Saint Joe,

Wherever the four winds blow,

I’ve been to some big towns,

I’ve heard me some big talk,

But there is one thing I know…”

Here’s Rosemarie Clooney doing the song sometime back in the 1950s.

I like the arrangement, and the guys with hats and cigarettes. And it’s documentary evidence of how smokin’ hot (and talented) Rosie was back in the day.

Fiction

Sci-Fi Cities Illustrated

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I want to watch Brazil, but I don’t think my sweet wife will want to see it with me. I’d like to see Blade Runner again too, since I’m sure I didn’t understand it as a kid. The WebUrbanist has a list of “Nightmare & Dream Designs” for cities.

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What if Google and Bing Waged an Audience War and Nobody Noticed?

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Kevin Ryan talks innovation and technology in this post on AdAge.com, particularly targeting Google’s new Instant Search–have you seen it? If you’re looking for one the major websites/companies that usually top your search list, now you won’t have to wait three seconds. Ryan opines:

For most people, search is just search

My favorite scrap with my wife co-starred a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. In the middle of a partial light to medium domestic storm, she poured herself the last two fingers of a liter bottle. A bottle, mind you, that I had carried back from China many years ago.

I instantly forgot what we were quibbling about. As she finished the last drop, it occurred to me: In a distracted environment, my wife’s understanding of Johnny Blue was that of any other bottle of Scotch. For me, however, a bottle of the Blue lasts about five to seven years and only makes an appearance on or around my birthday.

To my wife, Scotch is Scotch and it all tastes like recycled tires. To the consuming public, search is search and the issues we face are unique to us. Do-it-all devices and features are engineered to deliver a unique customer experience by offering everything, allowing consumers pick what they like. It’s a nice idea that really doesn’t apply to search.

Goofing

File it under "Inside Jokes"

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James Lileks blogged about many things today, but among them was labels on filing cabinet drawers. This prompted me to mention, in the comments, a secret joke I’ve been carrying on for years.
I was working at my student job, sitting behind the library desk at Waldorf College, Forest City, Iowa, back around 1968, when I came up with what I thought was a hilarious filing cabinet drawer label joke. (This is a small, rather specialized field of humor.)
Two file drawers, one above the other.
The first is labeled, MEMPHIS to MOBILE.
The second is labeled, NATCHEZ to SAINT JOE.
I’ve had those labels on filing cabinets wherever I’ve lived and/or worked ever since. I don’t think anyone has ever gotten the joke.
Do you? (You get no points if you read down the comments on Lileks’ post and see what I wrote there.)