A couple links for your edification

I’ve got a meeting tonight, so I’m in haste, but here’s a couple links worth reading.

An editorial in the Houston Chronicle examines how the Texas Education Agency could deem thousands of students to have passed a test on which they got not a single answer right. Strange times we live in. Tip: Grim’s Hall.

The unspeakable Hunter Baker (don’t buy his book) shares a puerile review of a biography of Time Magazine founder Henry Luce.

Have a good weekend! I’ll be in Minnehaha Park, Minneapolis, on Sunday, doing the Viking thing at Norway Day.

Would You Pay to Comment?

The Sun Chronicle hasn’t appreciated reader feedback recently and has now guarded its article comments with a 99 cent fee. So you can fill out the order form, pay almost a dollar, and comment freely thereafter. I don’t know if that system will apply to only this Massachusetts paper or also to the other two papers the D’Arconte company owns.

Mixed Metaphor Alert

From the previously linked article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (they should lengthen their name, don’t you think? How about Atlanta News Journal-Democrat Constitution Dispatch Herald?), here’s a bit common language abuse. Bobby Williams of Smoothie King is quoted.

“McDonald’s is the 900-pound gorilla in the room,” he said. “Whenever they roll with something, it creates a halo effect.”

Seattle's Best Coffee to be Sold at Burger King

BAD FALLINGBOSTEL, GERMANY - MARCH 05:  The signs of the fast food companies Burger King and McDonald's are seen side by side on March 5, 2009 in Bad Fallingbostel, Germany. Fast food companies notice more customers recently which is assumed to be a consequence of the global financial crisis.  (Photo by Joern Pollex/Getty Images)

Burger King of Canada and USA will begin selling Seattle’s Best Coffee in their restaurants this fall. The Canadians will get the deal a month or so before the Americans will, because, let’s face it, Canadians need a stimulus that will rouse them out of the years of malaise that has been dragging their country down. Their coffee is terrible. I’ve never tasted it myself, because it’s terrible.

So Burger King has looked across the street at McDonald’s McCafe, which has been offering Newman’s Own Coffee for a few years, hears the rattling whistle of the espresso being made, and believes it needs to expand its beverage line. This reminds me of a Consumer Reports test that ranked McDonald’s coffee over Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, and Burger King. Did anyone go to Burger King for good tasting coffee back then? Now, they may have that option and be able to choose from unique flavors like Grease Fried Bean, The King’s Flamer, and Whopper Cafe Grande.

BTW, Burger King wanted to punish their customers for their loyalty and brand devotion, so they took the Whopper off the menu for a couple days. Naturally, they recorded the reactions.

Gourmet coffee companies may have lesson to learn from the fast food giants’ coffee decision, that their brew is a bit too pricey. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports McDonald’s has taken marketshare away from specialty coffee stores by offering less expensive drinks.

Will BK gain ground in the fast food market from McDonald’s with their new coffee options? Maybe. In the meantime, McDonald’s will begin offering fruit smoothies.

Dark Light, by Randy Wayne White


Dark Light is another installment in Randy Wayne White’s Doc Ford series. I was quite pleased with it. The author has positioned this series so as to let his marine biologist/covert ops agent hero play around in both the international thriller and the mystery genres. This one’s a mystery, with the intriguing addition of a (possibly) supernatural element.
In the wake of a devastating hurricane that wreaked havoc on the economy and ecology of his Sanibel Island, Florida home, Ford gets drawn into a dispute between an acquaintance—an old fisherman he doesn’t even like a whole lot—and a property developer. The developer, as it turns out, is not only a crooked businessman but a serial rapist and killer. Ford and his friends end up competing with the developer and his henchmen in the exploration and salvage of a World War II wreck. This attracts the interest of an enigmatic neighbor, an beautiful old woman who sometimes doesn’t seem old at all, but is disturbingly seductive either way.
The supernatural element was what intrigued me most, fantasist that I am. Is the old woman the goddaughter of a famous beauty supposed to have drowned in the shipwreck, as she claims, or is she the woman herself, some sort of ghost?
Doc Ford and his friend Tomlinson are like the extreme poles famously described by Chesterton—one doesn’t believe in God; the other believes in anything. Ford’s unsettling experience with the mystery woman can be satisfactorily explained in purely materialistic terms. And yet, even Doc himself doesn’t entirely believe that.
You used to see this sort of story more than you do now, I think. Stories framed as realistic, but with the door left open just a crack for other possibilities. I like such stories.
Dark Light was an engaging mystery, with a pleasant aftertaste. Cautions for language and adult situations.

On character in stories


Yesterday I wrote about a couple Stephen J. Cannell novels I’d just read, including Cold Hit. Thinking about the book some more, I came up with further thoughts about something I’d praised Cannell for—his handling of characters.
The book is oddly dated by its presentation of a worst-case scenario based on aspects of the Patriot Act. Remember back around 2005, when everybody was scared that George Bush was turning the country into a police state, and how all the powers given to Homeland Security would have progressives herded into concentration camps for crimes of sedition? All that stuff’s still in force, right? Apparently, now that the Democrats are in charge, those same laws are suddenly benign.
Anyway, much of the tension in Cold Hit arises from friction and territorial infighting between the local police and federal agencies. One character in particular, a federal agent whom Cannell spends a lot of time teaching us to hate, turns out—in the end—to be a decent public servant, one who’ll never be the hero’s best buddy, but who deserves and gives respect.
It seems to me one of the weaknesses of contemporary Hollywood (I know I’m jumping abruptly from novels to movies. That’s because I think fiction sins far less in this regard these days) is that characters in movies almost never surprise us anymore. Hollywood has become all about stereotypes. All southerners (I’m sure you’ve noticed) are gap-toothed, undereducated bigots (except for Tommy Lee Jones). All preachers and priests are hypocrites at best, and probably sexual predators. If someone hunts, or votes Republican, they will be unsympathetic. All Latinos are “simple but proud” (to quote a good line from Thomas M. Sipos’ Hollywood Witches, which I reviewed not long ago), all Native Americans are simple but proud with mystical powers added, and all African Americans are wise. Young white males are drunken slackers. Young kids are smart-mouthed, and more intelligent than their parents. The moment a character appears, you already know all about them.
If you’re writing a story, surprise us with your characters. Find good in the ones you don’t like. Find flaws in your heroes. Your work will gain a lot of depth.

Reading report: Cold Hit & Three Shirt Deal, by Stephen J. Cannell

Over the holiday, I read a couple more of Stephen J. Cannell’s Shane Scully novels, Cold Hit and Three Shirt Deal. It would be pointless, I think, to give either of them full reviews, unless one of them was bad (neither is), since I’m already on record as enjoying the series. So I’ll just post some thoughts, thought while reading.

1. Does the Los Angeles police department really allow an officer to be their spouse’s immediate superior? If they do, I think they’re nuts.

2. At one point in Cold Hit, Scully as narrator talks about the integration of female officers into the force. I thought the passage was interesting, because he listed good arguments the old guard used against deploying smaller, weaker female patrol officers. He largely answered them, not with a strong counter-argument, but by saying “It’s done, there’s nothing you can do about it.” I find that suggestive (in the inviting-of-thought sense). Probably it’s just me.

3. In spite of his theoretical advocacy of a co-ed police force, Cannell makes heavy use of the inherent pressures, interpersonal and job-related, that come from men serving alongside women in dangerous situations. One could, if one wished, read the whole series as a subtle argument against female recruitment. Again, that’s probably just me.

4. When I first picked up a Cannell novel, I didn’t expect much in the way of character development. Cannell is a television writer/producer, and that medium isn’t famous for the depth of its psychological insight (though The Rockford Files, one of Cannell’s shows, featured some of the best character writing ever done in the medium). I was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps as a relief from the constraints of the one-hour series, Cannell goes very deeply into the psyches of his characters. Indeed, in Cold Hit, he probably took it a little too far at one point, having a certain character make a personal disclosure worthy of Oprah’s show, in the middle of a gun fight. But that’s a rare misstep.

5. One drawback of the series format is that it’s hard to allow the heroes to change as much as classic story structure demands. Cannell has done a wonderful job of solving that problem by making surprising changes in his hero’s relationships, especially in Three Shirt Deal. What does Scully do when his wife/superior officer, previously the prudent one in the relationship, now becomes the crazy risk-taker, and he has to act like the grownup? The results are amusing.

Not Another Great American Novel

“Is the idea of the Great American Novel the worst thing that ever happened to great American novelists?” asks Malcolm Jones. “Some days it does seem that way.”

I’m not sure this writer has the right frame of mind. In fact, it probably doesn’t matter if an author hopes his work will be the next G.A.N. If it is, we will discover it for ourselves.

Don't Blame Star Wars for Bad Summer Movies

Danny Leigh of The Guardian states it isn’t fair to say summer blockbusters are all terrible because of the legacy they have in Star Wars. He writes:

Blame Lucas, by all means, but let’s have a little more accountability all round: blame Francis Ford Coppola and Roman Polanski, too, for never regaining the majesty of The Godfather or Chinatown; blame the fractured way we access entertainment; blame the Weinstein brothers for helping to botch the resurgent interest in smart but populist cinema during the 90s; and, if we’re going to be thorough here, why not blame corporate studio ownership and mass consumerism as a whole?

Literally Devoted

The word for today from the Wordsmith is bibliolatry, used in this sentence: “Fifty percent of college graduates expect Jesus to be here any day now. We are, says Paul Boyer, almost unique in the Western World in combining high educational levels with high levels of bibliolatry.” Martin Gardner; Waiting for the Last Judgement; The Washington Post; Nov 8, 1992.
Bibliolatry is defined as “excessive devotion to the Bible, especially to its literal interpretation.” It’s also the worship of any book, but sticking to the first definition, I have to laugh when I see references to a literal interpretation of the Bible. I hesitate to use labels, but I’ll do it anyway. The idea in the example sentence is the essential thing conservatives think of when defining academic and some other types of liberals. They tell us if we would use our brains we would see the nuance, the deeper meaning, the shades of gray in the situation and not be so cock-sure of ourselves, but when pressed for a good answer, they don’t have one. They can only criticize the answers the conservatives have given.
Bibliolatry in this sense does not exist. There can be no excess in devotion to the Word of God. See Psalm 19 and Psalm 119, but don’t take them literally. Take them poetically. Your soul may not “cling to the dust,” because you can have life in His Word.