Once again, the eyes of the nation are fixed on Minnesota. Something strange, almost unprecedented, is going on here.
It’s cold out.
The rest of you know nothing of such things, so I thought I’d bring you up to date.
Tonight, as I was checking out at the grocery store, a guy at the end of the conveyer asked me, “Paper or plastic?”
In Minnesota (oddly, I can’t recall how it was in Florida) our major grocery chains all (by which I mean “both”) have “self-service” bagging. This was supposed to save us money back in my youth when it was introduced, but now it’s The Way Things Are Done, and anybody who suggests change is just a troublemaker. So I was confused to have somebody offer to bag my groceries for me. I told him plastic.
“Are you going to want a tip?” I asked, in my best Scrooge voice (and face), as he packed the sacks.
“No,” he said.
“Do you represent some organization?”
He gave the name of the youth group of a Lutheran church I wasn’t familiar with. By an odd coincidence, though, there was a table with a tip jar near the exit, and I felt obligated to drop a buck in as I left. (Which I could have technically avoided, since these people are supposed to ask first. “Would you like me to bag your groceries?” Not, “Paper or plastic?”)
I bet he’s a salesman. I bet he does well at it.
I bet he has no friends.
Anyway, I figure that, statistically, the church I gave the buck to is probably part of The Very Large Lutheran Body That Shall Remain Nameless.
So my money probably went to send the kids to a Transgender Sensitivity Camp or a Jihad Understanding Conference.
Humbug.
