Looking back over my recent posts, I note that I have not yet updated you on my progress as an Uber Eats delivery driver. No doubt that omission accounts for the unsettled state of the commonwealth lately.

I can report that I’ve gone out on two evenings, and made a total of three deliveries. I messed up each of them in some way, but I remain (to my own surprise) undaunted. I approach the experience with fear, and am full of self-criticism the following day – but while I’m actually driving, there’s a strange sense of exhilaration. I thought I was immune to the thrill of novelty, but apparently even old dogs can enjoy new tricks.

The first night was last Thursday around 5:00 p.m. It was cool and misty out. I drove up to Brooklyn Center, near the ancient ruins of Brookdale Mall, because there are a lot of fast food places in that area. After receiving a bunch of ridiculous job suggestions (Uber Eats always throws a lot of low-paying – even money-losing – rides at you when you first log on), I got an order for about $6.00 for a ride of about 2 miles (as I recall). I took that and drove to Wing Stop. I carried my newly purchased hot bag (red in color) inside. The order was ready, but it took a couple minutes to get the clerk’s attention. At last he handed me the sack, and also a cup, telling me the customer wanted a Dr. Pepper, and I needed to fill that myself at the automated fountain.

This is where I messed up, no doubt due to nerves. I filled the cup, snapped a lid on it, took a straw, and then (stupidly) put the cup in the bag with the food, zipping them both inside.

When I got out to my car, I had some frightened moments, wondering what I’d done with the drink. When I looked in the hot bag, there it was, and of course it had tipped over. Some of the pop had spilled. I emptied the spilled soda pop onto the ground, and drove to make my delivery. The customer, as promised, met me outside their house, and the delivery was completed. The paper sack was a little wet, but not too bad, I thought.

I would have done another run, but of course my hot bag was now wet with soda pop inside. I opted to go home and wash it out. It was enough that I’d done a delivery, I figured. Take things in baby steps.

Friday was full of other matters, so I went out again Saturday evening. I thought I’d lurk in the town of Crystal instead of Brooklyn Center that night. There are a lot of eating places around there too. But when a decent job showed up, it sent me right back to Brooklyn Center. As I drove, another offer showed up (we call that “stacking.” It means you can do two deliveries in roughly the same area, saving time and increasing pay). So I took that too. (In trepidation, but I took it.)

My first stop was Panda Express. Drove in, and that’s when the trouble started. The Uber Eats app was absolutely certain I had not arrived yet. The map said I was there, but the app wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do when you arrive (as I understood it). I went in and got the order, but in my car, I was still unable to inform the app that I was where I was. Not only could I not proceed to the delivery map, I couldn’t make my second pickup either.

In desperation, I called the deliveree and asked for their address. I drove to their place under the guidance of Google Maps, and made the delivery. Then I called support and explained to somebody in India what had happened. He said they’d fix it and give me credit for the delivery. I asked if I should still do the second delivery, and he said I should.

So I went to Little Caesar’s Pizza. Same problem. I solved it the same way, and made a similar call to India.

At that point I figured either the app was glitching, or (somehow more likely) I was doing something wrong. I decided to close up shop for the night and do some research on how to use the app properly.

Tonight my friend from my Bible study group, the guy who urged me to take this mad course in the first place, has promised to ride along with me for one delivery, to show me what I’m doing wrong. Once that’s accomplished, I assume the low places will be exalted and the high places made low, and I will sweep all before me, going from strength to strength.