Category Archives: Writing

Ghostblogging for Businesses

Malcolm Sheppard writes,

Most blogs are like whale carcasses. They drift ashore from parts unknown, look like they’ve been dead for weeks, and they stink. Man, do they ever stink. That’s because intelligence and business savvy don’t necessarily indicate writing ability. There’s no shame in that, either. Expecting a blog to turn a manager into a writer is like expecting MSPaint to turn one into an artist. Skill matters. That’s why recycled clipart and truncated, “Powerpoint English” emanate from the brainiest desks in the world.

I want to go on record to say, I would not blog for someone else–except for money. Maybe books or italian food with coffee. No, only money. And here I am for free. What’s wrong with me?

Hoopla!

I’m delighted to report that I have received verbal (actually e-mail) acceptance of one of my novels by a new publisher.

I’m going to be discreet about naming names at this point, before a contract has actually been signed. I’ll say that the publisher is a newish Christian house, and that I will be their first fiction author.

The novel is West Oversea, the third volume in The Saga of Erling Skjalgsson.

How not to write

Now and then Phil gets offers from publishers willing to send us books for review. When he thinks they might be of interest to me, he forwards them. I like this. I like anything that provides me free books.

I got one recently, from a publisher in England. As a gesture of gratitude for their trouble and generosity in sending the book, I’m not going to review it.

Because if I did review it, I’d have to give it the lowest grade I’ve ever given a book on this blog. It is amazingly, egregiously awful and amateurish.

Instead I’m going to write, in generalized terms, about some of the author’s failures. They might be helpful to those of you who are writers, or want to write. Continue reading How not to write

Tips on tax Tuesday

My porch thermometer tells me the temperature is 80° out there. That’s ridiculous. Today was nice, no question, except for the high winds, but 80° it ain’t. 70°, maybe, which would match the forecast.

Today, links to take your mind off your taxes.

I’ve found the most awesome blog in the universe, courtesy of Evangelical Outpost. It’s called The Art of Manliness, and it’s for guys. (I know what you’re thinking, but it’s honestly not a Babe Log.) Despite the ironic graphics, this is a serious site devoted to authentic masculinity. You can find tips on good manners, wearing a hat (!), grilling a steak, packing a Dopp bag, breaking in a door, and genuine sincerity, among other things.

(I know it’s too late for me, but I provide the link for the sake of those who come after.)

The June Writer’s Digest features its annual list of the best websites for writers. Here’s a selection that caught my eye:

duotrope.com Provides a database of more than 2,000 markets. A free submissions tracker is available.

forwriters.com Includes a list of writers’ organizations around the world.

christianstoryteller.com Support and networking for Christian writers.

rejecter.blogspot.com The blog of a New York literary agency assistant, who explains to you why agents are rejecting your queries, and what you can do better.

agentresearch.com/agent_ver.html Reports on the business practices of agents—a very useful thing to know in today’s convoluted publishing world.

copyright.gov “Everything you need to know about copyright law.”

Don’t say I never tell you anything useful.

The complex origins of language

I enjoyed Roy Jacobsen’s comments on a speech by Christine Kenneally at the Writers USA Conference in Portland.

One of the interesting things about language is that it’s not a single ability, but rather a suite of abilities. We’re all born with this innate suite, but the ability to speak seems to develop only if we are spoken to; it does not arise spontaneously on its own. Thus, if we learn to speak only because we are spoken to, how did language arise?

Fascinating subject, with profound philosophical and theological implications, I think. The power of speaking, and the significance of the word, are part of the very architecture of biblical thinking.

The friends of Carl

As I re-read Andrew Klavan/Keith Peterson’s books starring newspaperman John Wells (see yesterday’s review), I couldn’t help (though heaven knows I tried) thinking back to my own short, undistinguished career as a small town radio news reporter.

When I consider that time, I find incomprehensible that I could have actually believed that I (that is, me, this guy writing what you’re reading now) might possibly, under any circumstances, be able to do the job of a news reporter. Going out and speaking to strangers. Asking them questions. Pressing them when they’re reluctant to answer. I actually had the idea that I could learn to do those things.

Well, I was young then. All my life I’d heard people saying, “I used to be pretty shy, but I learned how to just get up and talk to people, and I found out there was nothing to be afraid of.” I figured I’d be the same, with time.

But enough of that. Enough to note that I tried it, long, long since, in the early 1980s.

And for some reason, reading about reporter John Wells and his dangerous life as a reporter reminded me of old Carl (not his real name), the guy who taught me the ropes at the radio station.

I don’t know why I’m disguising his name. I’d say the chances that he’s still alive are about the same as the chance that a top-flight literary agent is reading this right now and getting ready to e-mail me, offering me representation.

Because like John Wells, Carl was a degenerative (Not degenerate. There’s a difference). He smoked constantly, drank heavily and was in terrible physical condition (John Wells in the books was much the same, though thinner). When Carl showed me the job routine, it proved to consist of reading the morning paper, driving downtown, talking to a guy at the police station, and then adjourning to a local bar for refreshments.

Carl was not a motivated guy.

And then I remembered something I’d forgotten about Carl. Carl had odd fingers.

His fingers weren’t straight. They were crooked. They kind of zigzagged as your gaze followed them from knuckles to fingertips. They looked very odd when he typed.

His fingers looked, in fact, as if somebody had put his hand in a desk drawer one day, and then slammed the drawer shut. Like in The Friends of Eddie Coyle.

And it occurred to me, I wonder if Carl got those fingers on the job.

Maybe once he’d been a hotshot, dynamic young reporter, out to break big stories and pull the curtain away from crime and corruption.

Maybe he made the wrong people mad. And maybe they taught him a lesson about going along and getting along, through introducing him to a desk drawer.

Maybe that’s what made him the sad case he was when I got to know him.

I have no way of knowing.

But it makes a story.

Genuinely Christian

Tony Woodlief is writing on Christian writing again.

There is not redemption . . . without a fall, nor grace without sin. For O’Connor and other serious Christian writers, this reality led them to write books that would never be allowed on the shelves of a typical Christian bookstore.

This leads to an interesting possibility: that our local public library has more genuinely Christian literature — which is to say books that tell a truer story of the fall of man and his redemption by Christ — than most Christian booksellers.

In his follow-up post, he writes:

[B]ad Christian art cripples our compassionate imagination. When the bad guys practically have signs in a novel or movie labeling them as such, and the soon-to-be saved characters are similarly cordoned off, we lose sight of the wickedness that inhabits saints, and the despair that inhabits the hearts of the lost. Instead, we have our natural tribal mentality bolstered, that pernicious instinct that prompts us to think in terms of God’s saints on the one hand, and hell-bound heathens on the other, which is always accompanied by the delusion that we can spot them easily.

This second point is dead-on to use a cliché. But how does a writer or editor get away from this critique, especially as our world’s culture is being pornographified every year? Writers like Tony could be read as arguing for more vice in otherwise moral stories, even though he isn’t, but the preception and the reaction to it is the reason we have the art and stories we have today–mostly shallow and either sanitized or unsanitized.

What does the good stuff look like? It can’t be only literary or of high culture.

storySouth Best Online Short Award

The storySouth 2008 Million Writers Award for Fiction is open to nominations this month. The Rules: “Any story published during 2007 in an online magazine journal is eligible. The caveats are that said online mag or journal must have an editorial process–meaning no self-published stories–and the story must be at least a 1,000 words in length. Readers may nominate one story for the award. Editors of online publications may nominate up to three stories from their publication. All nominations are due by March 31.”

I confess that I do not read online fiction, though perhaps that would be a more edifying use of my time than browse news/blog tidbits. I do waste time online, but I also see far more interesting articles than I read.

Not Always the Point

Sure, you found the body of your employer lodged uncomfortably in the copier and a threat to your co-workers smeared on the wall in toner power. It’d make a powerful story, but sometimes a crime novel isn’t just about the crime.