“Author Stephen Atlrogge says that there’s a conspiracy affecting every person who has ever lived,” reported the publisher Crossway’s blog. Atlrogge has written The Greener Grass Conspiracy to explain the problem and recommend a solution. This photo, however, says he should have given his book another title.

If you follow the writings of James Lileks (and who doesn’t?), and read today’s Bleat, you’ll recall that he describes his weekend. For some inexplicable reason, however, he fails to mention what must have been the most memorable part of his Saturday.

He met me.

It came to pass in this manner. I told you on Friday that I’d be doing an interview with Mitch Berg and Ed Morrissey of the Northern Alliance on their regular Saturday show on WWTC AM 1280, here in the Twin Cities. What I didn’t know was that Ed wouldn’t be among those present. This explains Mitch’s invitation to me to come aboard, since he likes to inject a larger than usual dose of piffle on such occasions.

So I show up at the studio in Eagan at 2:00 p.m., a half hour early, as I’d projected, and pull into the parking lot. I pass a green Element automobile, but think nothing of it.

Heading toward the studio, my book in hand, I glance at the green Element, and there stands a compact figure I recognize immediately from his photographs, smoking a “small, evil cigar.”

“James Lileks,” I said.

He admitted this, his meditations ruined, and I introduced myself as a regular commenter on the Bleat. He pretended to remember me.

“What are you here for?” he asked.

“I’m on at 2:30 with Mitch,” I said.

“Oh. I’m on with Mitch at 2:00.”

Mitch had told me he’d have a guest just prior to me. He hadn’t told me it would be Minnesota’s most famous conservative humorist.

James offered to show me the way, got us buzzed in, and led me down the stairs to the basement studios (much nicer than I expected). I introduced myself to Mitch, whom I’d never actually met before, and Mitch asked me if I’d care to share my time with James.

Ask me a hard one, Mitch. Ask me if I’d like a date with Gabrielle Anwar. Ask me if I’d like an all-expense-paid trip to Norway.

A three-headed radio show with Mitch Berg and James Lileks? That’s not a tough decision.

So I sat in the green room, watching through the windows as Mitch and James did the first segment, and then they invited me in, found me a seat at the table, and issued me a pair of headphones. We chatted a bit while the commercials ran, and then it was show time.

I assumed it would be the kind of interview I’ve done before, where they ask me about the themes of my book, but Mitch moved on smoothly from that. He wanted to have fun—talk about Vikings in general, and kick the conversational ball around. Bad Viking movies, for instance, provide a fertile field for mockery.

It was great. Mitch is a tremendous host, and deserves a better paying gig. James Lileks is… well, pretty much what he seems to be in his writing. He’s dry, witty, erudite, and very classy. He treated me in every way as if we were fellow writers on the same level.

All in all, I like to think it was a little like the Algonquin Round Table, just without alcohol, tobacco smoke, or Dorothy Parker.

It was over too fast. We chatted a bit, said our goodbyes, and I drove home.

I hardly need to add that I suffered with adrenaline poisoning the rest of the day, and slept very little that night. Sunday I crashed, the gray clouds loomed, and packs of black dogs licked the back of my neck with their cold, pebbly tongues.

Pretty much what you’d expect.

But it was a great opportunity, and an unforgettable experience. Mitch and James are tops, and I’d take a bullet for either one of them.

You can listen here. Hour 2 of the January 29, 2011 broadcast is the one you want. It’s on top as of the time of this posting.