And now for something completely different: an potentially epic t-shirt.
Category Archives: Goofing
Bookstore Shoppers
Here are some funny testimonies from bookstore employees who have suffered at the hands of the public.
1. “I’d like to return a book”
2. “Our friend is really weird.”
3. “I can’t take back this sticky book”
4. “Do you have any mohair wool?” (scroll down five items for this great call from a philistine)
Everyone Has a Big One
Off topic: The Big But
Tips from Twitter
FakeAPStylebook on Twitter hands us words to write by:
- Typographers will tell you to eliminate widows and orphans. Typographers are MONSTERS.
- “Kill your darlings” refers to editing overwrought copy. Our apologies to the surviving family of Gotham City’s Printon “Scoop” Presser.
- To avoid being sued for copyright infringement, alter one letter in each word of quotes from literary works: “Carl mi Ishmail.”
- Misplaced modifiers are always in the last place you look.
Priceless and free. This comes from the brilliant minds behind Write More Good.
Harsh reality
DATELINE HOLLYWOOD: A spokesperson for the Me Too Channel announced today the addition of an exciting new reality to show to their fall lineup.
The program is to be entitled, “Reality Show Reality Show,” and will feature four teams of contestants who will be transported around the nation by livestock truck, following a route determined by a GPS device set on “Random.” The object of the competition will be to find some area of life that has not yet been covered in a reality show. Participants will have points deducted from their scores for any sign of taste, modesty, or empathy for others. Weekly losers will be forced to remain on the program.
In related news, attorneys in Los Angeles announced a class action suit on behalf of every person in America who has not yet been a reality show contestant. “We are suing because it’s obvious to the meanest intelligence that absolutely no talent, brains, or skill of any kind is necessary to be a reality show contestant,” said chief litigator E. Cleveland Weckmeyer. “Therefore all Americans, however feckless, ignorant, or maladroit have the same right to be on such a program as the people who’ve already made money off such appearances. Let me add that if anything ought to be a basic right in a great country like America, it’s reality. Our plaintiffs have been denied their right to reality, and we intend to redress that wrong. Additionally, they’ll get a full dose of reality once they see our legal fees.”
Novel: Not Done Yet
Why haven’t we finished our novel? (An infographic from The Onion) Blogging about writing is not on this list, probably because it’s too realistic to be funny.
The Saga of Bjørn
First, thanks to Ian Barrs, whose blog I linked to a few days ago, for his flattering review of The Year Of the Warrior today, at Man Of the West.
Below, behold the Saga of Bjørn. It’s well-done and funny, and even relatively authentic, considering the sort of thing it is. But the theology is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!
Gave me a chuckle, though.
The Saga Of Biorn from The Animation Workshop on Vimeo.
Tip: Eric at Grim’s Hall.
We (heart) Hunter Baker
Today being Valentine’s Day, forever after known as the day two days after Dr. Hunter Baker sent Lars Walker a Kindle, I think it apropos to recall posts on this wonderful blog in which we’ve described the good doctor. You saw in Lars’ last post, Dr. Baker was labeled the “prize-winning author of The End of Secularism
Just the other day, Dr. Baker was “that unspeakable poltroon,” which is another word for “coward.” A while back, he was “our friend … (may his books always be in print).” And still farther back? Continue reading We (heart) Hunter Baker
A Tragic Fairy Tale
Once there was a prince who upset an evil fairy and was turned into a fruitcake. Only if someone would love him enough to eat all of him would he turn back into a prince. He was passed around from family to princess to servant to family, but no one would eat him, and he remained a fruitcake forever.
Early warning on Erling's Day
December 21 is the anniversary of the death in 1028 of Erling Skjalgsson, hero of my Viking novels.
I know what you’re wondering. “How do I express my condolences?”
The best way I can think of is to order a copy of West Oversea.
Even if you already have one.
I know it’s what Erling would have wanted.