Robert Feldman from the University of Massachusetts talks about his research into our patterns of bearing false witness. In short, we lie a lot.
“We are not very good at detecting deception in other people,” Feldman says. “When we are trying to detect honesty, we look at the wrong kinds of nonverbal behaviors, and we misinterpret them.”
On this topic, some researchers think lying is mentally harder than telling the truth, so asking suspect to do something specific while recounting their story could help separate the liars from the honest. Of course, some people can’t handle the truth and make themselves look bad.
In related news from our How Things Have Changed Department, Time magazine has an old article on the lies presidents have told us.
In 1960, when the Russians shot down Gary Powers’ U2 spy plane, it was the Secretary of State, not President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who claimed a weather-research plane had gone off course. “So intense was the desire to not have the President lie,” says presidential historian Michael Beschloss, “to not break the bond of trust with the American people, it was left to others. Eisenhower never spoke an untruth.” Of course, Ike was never the focus of an investigation by a grand jury, either.
From the Feldman article: People lie while they are getting acquainted an average of three times in a 10-minute period. Participants in my studies actually are not aware that they are lying that much until they watch videos of their interactions.
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Not to defend lying at all, I think some of this is relative to definition. If I say I’m fine when asked “How are you,” how bad do I have to feel before my answer is considered a lie? Is saying you don’t want to talk about it really the better answer?
I’ve made a lifelong practice of replying, “Fair,” or “I’ll live,” when asked how I am. And amazingly, nobody seems to appreciate my honesty.
A pastor I work for always says, “I’m learning” or “Jesus is really working on me…” and always with a tinge of despair–I just don’t know how to respond to that. “Good for you”? “That’s nice”? “Really? Whatcha learnin’ about?” just isn’t appropriate.
Jesus is really working on me.
That’s good, because I’ve long thought you needed improvement. If you need a few pointers . . .