That zincing feeling

Outside, it was like summer in Minneapolis today. Just beautiful. Air conditioning weather.

But it is winter in my head.

My first cold of the year has arrived, with its entourage in tow.

I’m getting tired of this. Last winter, if I recall correctly, consisted entirely for me of a very long bout of flu, bookended on either side by unusually long colds.

I’m losing my faith in zinc tablets.

I’m beginning to suspect that zinc tablets are like the secret police of a particularly inept military dictatorship. They manage to beat down the resistance, but they cannot wipe it out. It waits, and organizes, and grows in strength in the shadows, until it bursts forth with volcanic violence in terrorism and revenge and blood in the streets.

It is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. It’s the beginning of the beginning of Cold Season.

Pseudoscience: Believe It or Not?

traditional Christian religion greatly decreases belief in everything from the efficacy of palm readers to the usefulness of astrology. [The study] also shows that the irreligious and the members of more liberal Protestant denominations, far from being resistant to superstition, tend to be much more likely to believe in the paranormal and in pseudoscience than evangelical Christians.

No Lil’ Bratz in Scholastic School Flyers

The Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood is claiming a victory in a children’s publisher’s decision to pull Lil’ Bratz-related books from its book club and fair fliers. Scholastic, Inc. is not going to recommend picture books based on the Lil’ Bratz dolls in their sales fliers, and many parents are glad for it.

Is Mormonism Christian?

From the current First Things:

Mormon beliefs diverge widely from historic Christian orthodoxy. The Book of Mormon, which is Mormonism’s principal source for its claim to new revelation and a new prophet, lacks credibility. And the Jesus proclaimed by Joseph Smith and his followers is different in significant ways from the Jesus of the New Testament: Smith’s Jesus is a God distinct from God the Father; he was once merely a man and not God; he is of the same species as human beings; and his being and acts are limited by coeternal matter and laws.

The intent of this essay is not to say that individual Mormons will be barred from sitting with Abraham and the saints at the marriage supper of the Lamb. We are saved by a merciful Trinity, not by our theology. But the distinguished scholar of Mormonism Jan Shipps was only partly right when she wrote that Mormonism is a departure from the existing Christian tradition as much as early Christianity was a departure from Judaism. For if Christianity is a shoot grafted onto the olive tree of Judaism, Mormonism as it stands cannot be successfully grafted onto either.

Panic now! Or wait two months, then panic!

According to this highly questionable report, the Large Hadron Collider has been shut down due to damage and will be out of order for two months.

What really happened, I think we all understand, is that a black hole immediately formed in the core of the thing, and that Switzerland is already being sucked into the vortex (Think about it. When was the last time you had a phone call from anybody in Switzerland?).

They just don’t want us to panic. Because if we’re all going to die a horrible death anyway, it’s important we do so in a calm state of mind.

I had dinner last night with a group of fantasy writers from the American Christian Fiction Writers convention, being held in our fair metropolis. I managed to get out of my shell after the always-difficult initial “meeting people” stage, and by the end of the night they were all bored sick with me.

Thanks to all of you (you know who you are) for your patience.

Ireland’s Eoin Colfer to Continue the Hitchhiker’s Guide

The publisher approached Eoin Colfer with the idea of carrying on with Douglas Adams’ series in a new book to be called, And Another Thing. To his credit, Colfer was initially shocked at the invitation.

How’d Ye Fare, Lubber?

Ahoy! Did ye’av a bonnie day of it today, young reader? Mayhap, ye’d like to cap it off with a mug o’ rum, or grog if the barkeep has nothing better? As ye may know, rum comes from Caribbean sugar cane. Me matie Scurvy Carl says,

Converting cane into sugar is an industrial process that produces byproducts: cane juice and molasses. Caribbean islanders soon began converting these byproducts into cheap liquor, known first as Kill-Devil, then later as Rumbullion, and then simply as rum. This was powerful stuff. An early critic referred to it as “hot, hellish, and terrible.”

And right he is too. Let’s see if we can’t call for something out of the bung hole, eh. Aye.

Meeting Long John

From chapter 8 of Treasure Island:

When I had done breakfasting the squire gave me a note addressed to John Silver, at the sign of the Spy-glass, and told me I should easily find the place by following the line of the docks and keeping a bright lookout for a little tavern with a large brass telescope for sign. I set off, overjoyed at this opportunity to see some more of the ships and seamen, and picked my way among a great crowd of people and carts and bales, for the dock was now at its busiest, until I found the tavern in question.

It was a bright enough little place of entertainment. The sign was newly painted; the windows had neat red curtains; the floor was cleanly sanded. There was a street on each side and an open door on both, which made the large, low room pretty clear to see in, in spite of clouds of tobacco smoke.

The customers were mostly seafaring men, and they talked so loudly that I hung at the door, almost afraid to enter.

As I was waiting, a man came out of a side room, and at a glance I was sure he must be Long John. His left leg was cut off close by the hip, and under the left shoulder he carried a crutch, which he managed with wonderful dexterity, hopping about upon it like a bird. He was very tall and strong, with a face as big as a ham–plain and pale, but intelligent and smiling. Indeed, he seemed in the most cheerful spirits, whistling as he moved about among the tables, with a merry word or a slap on the shoulder for the more favoured of his guests.

Now, to tell you the truth, from the very first mention of Long John in Squire Trelawney’s letter I had taken a fear in my mind that he might prove to be the very one-legged sailor whom I had watched for so long at the old Benbow. Continue reading Meeting Long John