Well, that’s serendipity. Phil links to a source of good book illustration, and I just found a source of bad science fiction book covers. Of which there is apparently an inexhaustible supply. Thanks to Loren Eaton of I Saw Lightning Fall for the tip.
I haven’t gone through the entire inventory, so I don’t know if they’ve included a particular cover that even its publisher admitted, in the cold light of the morning after, was probably a mistake: Continue reading Book illustration pratfalls
As you’ll note from the comments on my last post, Dr. Hunter Baker (fiend in human shape that he is) heartlessly refuses to engage in a public exchange of insults with me, appealing, apparently, to some principle of non-retaliation or something. Thus am I stymied in my ploy to try to raise interest in my books through a blog feud.
I need to find somebody to fight with. Somebody who’s actually a published author, but not so venerable (like Dr. Gene Edward Veith) that my insulting him would seem impertinent. As my mama always told me, “Keep your hair combed, wear clean underwear, and always be pertinent.” Continue reading Of conflicts and critics
You’ve seen the lists before saying the BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed. Here’s the list you haven’t seen.
1 Conceit and Chauvinism – Jane Austoon
2 The Dane of the Drinks – PBJ Tokien
3 Jan Eyrie – Charlot Blont
4 Harry, the Boy Who Grows Up to Become a Wizard and Whip an Evil Sorcerer’s Butt series – JK Rowlin
5 To Catch a Mockingbird – Larper Hee
6 The Bible: The Book That Changed the World – Many anonymous authors
7 Withering Snipes – Emily Blont
8 Nineteen Ninety Nine – The Artist Formerly Known as Georgey O.
9 His Dark Materials – Canni Getalight
10 Profound Potential – Charlie B. Dickens
11 Wee Women – Louisa McAlcott
12 Tess: A Sad Novel You Won’t Want to Read – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 33: Prequel to Hyperbole- Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Francis Bacon (The Brain Behind Shakespeare)
15 Daphne Du Maurier – Rebecca Continue reading The Faux BBC 100
In the spirit of this award, I proudly claim the honor of Best Blog by a Heretic as voted on my the reader of The Crescat blog. That’s “heretic” as defined by Roman Catholics (some of them anyway). Get the run down here. As Luther might have said on an occasion like this, “This fear or horror is sufficient in itself [when reading this blog] to constitute the pain of purgatory, since it approaches very closely to the horror of despair.”
Do we aim to please? We sure do. Thank you to everyone for your wonderful outpouring of support for the unsung heroes write this blog. At the end of the day, it’s all about you.
Ask not what you believe to be, but only what if. Tim Challies has a humorous list of quotes, asking us to decide whether they came from fortune cookies or Joel Osteen, the beloved author of Your Best Life Now and It’s Your Time For example, where does this statement come from: “Do all you can to make your dreams come true”?
It’s still April, National Poetry Month, so I am compelled by the forces of nature and nature’s stewards, your neighborhood climatologists, to post a substantive poem for your cultural enrichment. What better choice could I make than an Edward Lear limerick.
There was an Old Person whose habits,
Induced him to feed upon rabbits;
When he’d eaten eighteen,
He turned perfectly green,
Upon which he relinquished those habits.
But wait! If you act now, you can get two limericks for the price of one.
There was a Young Lady whose eyes,
Were unique as to colour and size;
When she opened them wide,
People all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.
My usually reliable sources inform me that tomorrow is Earth Day (now known as Earth Week, due to the inflationary effects of global warming). In my capacity as acknowledged arbiter of public morals and taste, I take seriously my responsibility to clarify some public misconceptions about this observance.
I am very old, and I remember the first Earth Day. At least I remember magazine articles and people talking about it. I have no memory of the actual observance. I was in college at the time, and I think they gave us the afternoon off. I think the students were supposed to walk around town picking up trash. But I don’t recall it (and, sadly, I can’t even offer drunkenness as an excuse). If I did pick up trash, I don’t remember. Of course, this college was in Forest City, Iowa, which means there probably wasn’t much around in the first place. I suspect I spent the afternoon hiding in my dorm room, cowering with the lights off, fearful of the dreaded knock at the door.
Which was how I generally spent my afternoons anyway.
So how should we observe Earth Day? How should we honor our dear, abusive Mommy Dearest Earth, who sends us hurricanes and earthquakes, harbors our insect and bacterial enemies, and recently threw a hissy fit in Iceland, just because we forgot to call?
First of all, keep that bicycle in the garage. Bicyclists tend to get hit by automobiles, causing unnecessary fuel expenditures for gas-guzzling ambulances and all those energy-sucking operating room lights. Also the water necessary to wash your blood off the street is a drain on the aquifer.
Also, eat a lot. Preferably fatty, salty, high-sugar foods. This lowers your lifespan, you human parasite, and nothing reduces your carbon footprint like death. Also, Mother Gaia loves burials (why do you think she keeps dropping heavy stuff like mountainsides on people? She’s a carnivore). One caution—do not be cremated. Greenhouse gases, you know. Especially after you’ve eaten a lot of fast food.
Hug a wild animal. Preferably a large one with long teeth. They need love too, and your understanding may be just the thing that gives meaning to their dull lives, living out there in the woods where’s there’s no high speed access. And no fast food delivery. Until now.
Join some religion that will force you to live in a pre-industrial age, like Wicca, Islam, or Texas Hold ‘Em. Then give away all your sinful, environment-molesting high end electronics.
I have an address where you can send it all.
Matt Scottoline gives us “Moments from famous films I would have ruined had I been the star.”
From It’s a Wonderful Life: “What do you want? The moon? Really? There is no possible way any person can do that. Ugh. Never mind.”
Cut! (Thanks to Books, Inq.)
A friend on Facebook gave us this the other day: “Rewrite lines from famous movies as Dr. Seuss might have written them.”
Here are a couple starters.
1. Play it again, Sam. Play it for me. Play it for Suzy and Fibber McGee. Play it the way that you played it before on the flute, the kazoo, and violadore.
2. Inconceivable!
You keep saying that word, but do you know
if that word will take where you want to go.
Now, what will you do with that? I’m looking at you, Book. What will you do with that?
Mike Z. Williamson, author of Better to Beg Forgiveness, and other novels, sent me this link to a tongue-in-cheek analysis of the saga roots of Star Wars.
Great fun for you saga geeks and, let’s face it, who among us isn’t a saga geek?