This happened at the Walker Thanksgiving:
My brother Moloch and his wife brought the Korean exchange student they recently acquired. His name is Han. (Or Hon. I never asked him to spell it.)
When he was introduced to one of my nephews, this bit of dialog occurred:
Moloch: “Han, meet Luke.”
Me: “I think I saw this scene in a movie once.”
The FDA reports “that regular consumption of Oreo’s Double Stuf cookies could lead to an increased tolerance to stuf,” according to this Onion report. I’ll bet this reduces stress too. I need to head to the store.
The Springfield, Oregon, police have been overrun by gnomes among other things. “Somebody stole 75 lawn ornaments from around town and placed them meticulously on and around the lawn of one house on Oct. 17,” reports the AP. Now they are at the police station.
“We need to get them out of here,” Capt. Richard Harrison said.
Oh, yes, you do, Captain Harrison, but that won’t be the last of them. They will come again, and they will come here too. The gnomes are on the move!
Hey, hey! That’s a monkey–a Japanese macaque monkey in the snow, to be exact. More monkeys can be seen here.
The fortune cookie maker Wonton Food has released less-than-upbeat messages in their cookies in response to consumers who wanted “more fortunes with actual predictions rather than cryptic sayings,” reports the NY Times. The reporter asks, “Was one writer having a bad day? (‘Perhaps you’ve been focusing too much on yourself.’) Were the cookies giving voice to worries about the economy or terrorism? (‘There may be a crisis looming, be ready for it.’)”
Here are some message suggestions: “What are you looking for, advice from a cookie?” “Don’t eat here again.” “She’s not the one for you.” “Make sure you still have your wallet.” “Reconsider.” “Refinance.” “Ask for a refund.”
Any suggestions you have?
Whereas I once was on vacation, I have returned to the office. As you can see from my new webcam, I am hard at work.
I guess I’m required to say that I didn’t watch the Emmys. Why, I have no idea. Nobody watched the Emmys. I might as well say, “Last weekend, I didn’t play polo.”
Anyway, I’m informed that Sally Field expressed the hackneyed opinion (which was stupid back when I first heard it, in college) that there’d be no wars if women ran the world. Which prompted the following Deathless Quotation from me:
Stand by for a Deathless Quotation from Lars Walker.
If women ran the world, we’d have wars once a month.
This has been a Deathless Quotation from Lars Walker.
Full disclosure: the insight isn’t mine. I stole it from Katie McCollow at Yucky Salad With Bones (not the top post, but the next one down. Katie never posts two days in a row. I’m sure she did it this time just to mess up my link). I merely expressed it in a pithier fashion. Which is what I do, because I’m a trained professional.
I see TV ads for some new fall TV comedy called “The Big Bang Theory,” about brainy geeks and their sexy female neighbor.
These are my questions:
Do non-geeks want to watch a show about geeks?
Do geeks want to watch a show about geeks?
Also the acting looks lousy.
I share because I care.
Stand by for a Deathless Quotation from Lars Walker.
The chief achievement of Britney Spears in the last couple years has been to make us all appreciate the depth and substance of Jessica Simpson.
This has been a Deathless Quotation from Lars Walker.
Conversation between a Christian and a Hollywood producer:
Christian: “How come you never have any sympathetic Christian characters in your movies?”
Producer: “What do you mean? We have lots of sympathetic Christian characters in our films.”
Christian: “Name one.”
Producer: “Well, there was Sister Angelica in _______________.”
Christian: “Sister Angelica became an atheist in that film.”
Producer: “That’s what I’m saying! Sympathetic! What could be more sympathetic than that?”