Beyond the dread arena of Google Fight. What ideas, whose ideas, reign supreme in the mindshare of Google users. The truth could hurt.

1. Charles Spurgeon falls to Dwight Moody by over 25,000 hits
2. John Calvin crushes Arminius, landing three hits for every two.
3. Martin Luther destroys John Calvin with 22,200,000 hits
4. In an ugly fight bound for a rematch, Baptist whip up on Presbyterians, and Lutherans lay down the smack on the out-matched Unitarians.
5. On the ideas side of the arena, hope falls to change by a wide margin.
6. Change goes on to fillet responsibility and cook up humble pie for economy. Can change be defeated?
7. In other news, nice upsets naughty, Monty Python lays down like a rug for SNL, and Google outwits Yahoo.

Earth Hour 2009 is a movement to get one billion people to turn off their lights for an hour on March 28. Nice, but small-minded. I believe the blogscape can do one better. We can hold our breath for that hour as well.

Think of impact on carbon-dioxide levels if mankind would just be willing to hold its breath for the short, sixty minutes that make up an hour. The world would never be the same. Of course, some volcano could blow and undo all the good we accomplished, but think of the personal impact holding your breath would have on you and your family. Just think of it.

“… the power of your own finger producing each word on paper.”

My weekend was remarkable only for its nondescript character, and I had no idea what I was going to blog about today.

Then, while on the Nordic Track tonight (I have Nordic tracks all over my house, left behind by the slushy shoes of Nordic people) I came up with a silly gag that I thought would do.

I would start out in Clueless Voice™, saying how everybody’s talking about something called the Oscar awards today, but I don’t see anything about anybody named Oscar in any of the lists.

Then I’d list some awards for people actually named Oscar, like Oscar Wilde, Oscar Levant, and Oscar Mayer.

Must have been a good gag, too, because Wankette over at Threedonia beat me to it.

However, her list is far from comprehensive.

Below the fold, the true winners of some of the less-known Oscars. Continue reading The real Oscars. Accept no substitutes. →

But anybody who belongs to an organized religious body will probably get the joke. From the immortal Dr. Boli’s Celebrated Magazine.

For some time I’ve been dealing with the problem of controlling my weight.

Now, inspired by Pres. Obama (peace be upon him) and our legislators, I have seen the way to weight loss success!

Why do people get overweight? Because they take in more calories than they spend, of course.

Why don’t they spend enough calories? Because they’re inactive.

What do you need to become more active? Energy.

Where does energy come from? From food.

Therefore I shall eat more, in order to lose weight.

I call it my Weight Loss Stimulus Plan.

Anyone with a “serious” understanding of the world knew the old sci-fi horror movie, “The Blob,” could have been based on true accounts from the so-called real world, even if the writers/directors/producers denied it. Now we have a heinous story of a potato farmer who simply thought his growing spud was more affectionate than other potatoes. Little did he know, the tater had a taste for him!